Chapter 2: Nothing Better to Do, Might as Well Earn Some Pay-to-Win Money
It had already been a month since the system was activated.
[Clone Tool with Civilian Chakra Level ×7]
[Clone Tool with Genin Chakra Level ×6]
[Clone Tool with Chūnin Chakra Level ×3]
[Clone Tool with Jōnin Chakra Level ×1]
[Inconspicuous Survivalist Set with 100% Identity Concealment]
[Imperial Arm: Purgatory Summoning]
[Memory of the Deceased Uchiha Itachi]
[Transformation Card – Uchiha Itachi (Akatsuki Version) – Permanent]
[Shrink Potion (Age 13) ×10]
[Glowing Yo-Yo (Photon Sprite)]
[Summoning Battle Top (Gale Leopard)]
[Demonic Mask That Can Scare Kids to Tears]
...(Miscellaneous daily-use items omitted, such as a super-soft toilet roll)
"Just as expected, luck never helps the unlucky, and spending money won't change your fate. A month in and I've nearly gone bankrupt, and this is all I got."
"The shrink potion at age 13, fine… But what the hell are the yo-yo and battle top for?"
As Shunhi muttered to himself, he instructed the [Clone Tool with Jōnin Chakra Level] to use the [Uchiha Itachi (Akatsuki) Transformation Card], followed by the [Memory of the Deceased Uchiha Itachi].
"I thought I was already dead... Edo Tensei? No, that's not it..."
"Are you the one who summoned me?"
Uchiha Itachi, dressed in an Akatsuki cloak, stood before Shunhi and opened his Mangekyō Sharingan.
"Long time no see, Uchiha Itachi. You can stop the genjutsu now."
Unfazed, Shunhi activated his single-tomoe Sharingan and simultaneously manipulated the [Clone Tool with Jōnin Chakra Level] to force Itachi to end the genjutsu.
"Who are you?" Itachi asked calmly, realizing he couldn't control his own body.
"I'm Uchiha Shunhi."
The [Clone Tool with Jōnin Chakra Level] was Itachi's vessel, the [Transformation Card] his appearance, and the [Memory of the Deceased] his soul.
"So you're that 'Uchiha Dumbass.' What did you bring me back for?"
Shunhi was just an ordinary member of the Uchiha clan. Compared to his actual name, the nickname "Uchiha Dumbass" was more memorable.
"Fine, I won't take offense to being called that. Anyway, your first mission is to go make some money. And don't forget to wear a mask when you go out."
Unbothered by the nickname, Shunhi handed over the [Demonic Mask That Can Scare Kids to Tears] to Itachi.
"Understood," Itachi replied calmly but remained motionless.
"Take the mask," Shunhi said, trying to shove it into Itachi's hands.
"I still can't move yet," came Itachi's flat response.
"…You can move now."
After Shunhi stopped controlling the [Clone Tool with Jōnin Chakra Level], Itachi took the mask and put it on.
"How do I contact you later?" asked masked Itachi.
"Just use the [Grandma Knock Chatroom]."
With Itachi's activation, Shunhi's system interface changed.
[Grandma Knock Chatroom Subsystem]
Vessel:
[Clone Tool with Jōnin Chakra Level]
Appearance:
[Uchiha Itachi (Akatsuki) Transformation Card]
Soul:
[Memory of the Deceased Uchiha Itachi]
System Function:
[Grandma Knock Chatroom]
Group Owner: Uchiha Shunhi
Members: Uchiha Itachi (Special)
"Boss, one bowl of ramen!" came a customer's voice from outside the bedroom.
After spending all his savings on buying the store, Shunhi had no money left and was forced to live in the shop. Thankfully, the space was large enough to carve out a small bedroom.
"You can go earn money now. Just in time—I need to get to work too." Shunhi stepped into the kitchen and started cooking ramen with practiced ease.
Itachi, now wearing the mask, quietly passed by the ramen-eating customer. Before leaving the store, he glanced up at the shop sign.
Ichiraku Ramen: Second Konoha Branch
...
Skyscrapers, thriving commerce, hamburgers, carbonated drinks, luxury cars—Itachi found the modern world incomprehensible. The only thing he could confirm was that it was peaceful.
"Grandma Knock Chatroom no Jutsu."
Itachi quietly performed this strange jutsu.
[Grandma Knock Chatroom]
Uchiha Itachi:
Uchiha Shunhi, where exactly is this place?
Uchiha Shunhi:
Just call me Shunhi. Didn't I tell you? This is Konoha Village, post-Fourth Great Ninja War.
Uchiha Itachi:
Post–Fourth Great Ninja War... What about Sasuke? How is Uchiha Sasuke?
Uchiha Shunhi:
You really care about your little brother, huh? Don't worry—he's fine. Married, even. Has a cute daughter too. I think her name was Sarada... Right, Uchiha Sarada.
Uchiha Shunhi:
I don't mind you seeing Sasuke and his daughter, but don't forget your job. Keep your identity secret, don't cause trouble, and under no circumstances reveal anything about me.
[Uchiha Itachi has left the chatroom]
Without a soul, Itachi was just a life-size action figure. With one, he had a mind of his own.
"How troublesome," Shunhi muttered after sending off the day's only customer.
Big teams are hard to manage—even if, for now, the team only had two members: Uchiha Shunhi and Uchiha Itachi.
With the rise of hamburgers, fewer people wanted ramen.
"Tell me Uchiha Sarada's address."
In an empty alley, Itachi activated his Mangekyō Sharingan and cast a genjutsu on a passing Genin.
"…I don't know."
"..."
Itachi was desperate to find Sarada but didn't cast genjutsu blindly. If too many ninja were attacked, Konoha would become suspicious.
"Who are you?!"
Just after getting chased by his dad for vandalizing Hokage Rock, Boruto suddenly appeared behind Itachi.
"You really never learn, Boruto."
A black-haired girl with red-rimmed glasses also appeared.
Itachi sighed, turning around and preparing to cast genjutsu on the two brats to make a quick escape.
"Mangekyō Sharingan… Are you my father?!"
The black-haired girl, mistaking masked Itachi for her mission-bound dad, cried out in excitement.
"Sarada, Boruto, stay behind me! He's not Sasuke!"
"Dad!"
"Seventh!"
Naruto suddenly appeared, instantly entering Nine-Tails Chakra Mode. A golden arm shielded Boruto and Sarada behind him.
"Mangekyō Sharingan, Akatsuki cloak—who the hell are you?!"
Itachi didn't answer. He just stared at Sarada behind Naruto. She really did look a lot like Sasuke.
"I won't let you harm the village!"
Naruto charged with a Rasengan—but it only hit a substitution. Itachi had already escaped using Body Flicker.
Naruto immediately turned back, instinctively prioritizing his son and Sarada's safety.
The "comrade" talk had been a bluff. Itachi knew full well he wasn't Naruto's match—defeat was only a matter of time.
"Are you two okay?" Naruto asked as he returned.
"Dad, what just happened? I felt Nine-Tails' chakra." Shikamaru and his son Shikadai had also arrived.
"Shikamaru, take the kids home. We'll talk back at the Hokage office." Naruto said gravely.
"Wait, Seventh! Who was that guy?" Sarada grabbed Naruto's cloak. In her mind, she thought only her family remained from the Uchiha clan.
"Sorry, Sarada. That's classified—village security." Naruto looked at her solemnly.
"Come on, Dad, why not tell her? That guy was clearly connected to the Uchiha. Maybe Uncle Sasuke knows him," Boruto chimed in.
"Boruto!" Naruto shot him a rare, stern glare. The usually mouthy Boruto backed down immediately.
"…I understand," Sarada said quietly, releasing Naruto's cloak.
...
[Grandma Knock Chatroom]
Uchiha Shunhi:
Hey, seems like you stirred up trouble just now.
Uchiha Itachi:
Yeah, ran into Naruto.
Uchiha Shunhi:
I told you not to stir up trouble.
Uchiha Itachi:
It's not like I wanted to. But with this Akatsuki cloak, there's nothing I can do. Can I change clothes?
Uchiha Shunhi:
Nope. The Akatsuki cloak is your fixed form—can't be hidden or changed. Just be more careful in the future. Remember, priority number one is making money.
Uchiha Itachi:
…Then Naruto's probably already figured out who I am.
Uchiha Shunhi:
That's fine. As long as it doesn't involve me. And one last thing—never expose my info. Don't forget, your body is still under my control. If you don't want me to make you kill Sarada with your own hands someday, behave and make me some money. As a reward, I'll let you spend time with Sarada and Sasuke when you're not working.
Uchiha Itachi:
Understood.
[Uchiha Itachi has left the chatroom]
As Itachi exited the chatroom, Shunhi returned to the kitchen and got back to making ramen with renewed vigor.