|Devon|
Expectations— we often have them from other people. Not caring about the fact that it is a two-way road. If we can have expectations from someone then they have all the right to have some from us too.
What expectations did I have to come to see her like this?
None.
Was I hoping that she would act according to my needs and provide me comfort when I wanted?
Five years. For five years, not a single contact I had with hers. Too busy to find Jasmine, my best friend, I forgot that there was a girl I was falling for. There was a girl I befriended with. A girl, who had made her own place in my life and it was me, who looked forward to our long chats on various topics.
Words were never my good friends. I firmly believed in actions that speak louder than words. Right this instant, actions indeed were speaking loudly.
Watching the girl falling apart in front of my own eyes was very overwhelming. Despite wanting to hold her, I couldn't because I have no right. I had witnessed utter disbelief in her beautiful eyes. As if she had seen a ghost, her brown orbs had widened to fullest and for a moment I had forgotten the anger aroused in me after she prepared to step back.
Her apartment— my office room was bigger than this and more furnished. What kind of life did she live in the past five years?
Her aloof behavior killed me. She left as if sharing the same space with me troubled her. The thought itself made me guilty. The girl who once wouldn't stop her blabbering around me— now almost measured her words around me.
Who was to be blamed? No one but me...
She left once she finished what she wanted to. She left practically asking me to get lost, yet my legs wouldn't budge. I carefully observed her profile. From what I could see, she seemed agitated.
Are you surprised?
Want her to dance in euphoria? Mr. Devon Knight decided to grace her house with his mighty presence. Shall I tell her to call for drums and some garlands? Oh, wait. I will ask her to prepare for some speech in your honor.
'Shut up! Just, shut the hell up.'
Lost in arguing with myself, I almost leaped on my feet as her body started to fall. I caught myself in time. I could see tears staining her beautiful face. Her face had lost all its color and the despair clearly clouded her features.
Eva moved, her bent head slowly raised and I panicked. Until now, I was watching her but the thought of her knowing it somehow did not sit well with me. Hastily I stood up and turned my back towards her.
Clenching my fists by my sides, I breathed deeply so that I would not turn back and take her in my arms. The inability to provide her comfort infuriated me. Just a second more and I would be shoving rationality aside and that would be unfair to her.
With utter helplessness and extreme anger, I strode out hurriedly from her apartment.
*
The steering wheel turned into the punching bag I so longed for at the moment. Without moments of delay the moment I stepped inside the car, my clenched fist landed on it and a blazing horn rang out.
"Why?"
"Why?"
There was no response to my agitated cry of answers.
I needed to get out of this place. All my heart wanted to go back and apologize to her. For one friend, I ignored the other. Both were part of my heart and somehow I was the reason for the miseries of both. I steered the car out of parking.
Unaware of myself, I kept driving on without any destination and ended up on a deserted road. The traffic was almost negligible and barely could I see some sort of transportation. I pressed the brake almost absentmindedly.
'Mom Calling.'
The screen of my mobile lit up and the familiar name came up over it. This was one call that used to make me happy and calm down my agitated heart but after what she did behind my back I— I felt betrayed. I closed my eyes, suddenly feeling tired. At the moment, I did not want to think about my family yet, my thoughts did wander in that territory.
*
"Why is Devon still hung on that girl?" My father's voice boomed loudly. My steps halted and I stood against the door.
Why I came to know about my father's deeds from his mouth was beyond me. I would always end up hearing about his involvement in my life behind my back. What sort of sadistic pleasures he got in interfering in my life, I never realized. But, who was he talking to?
I wanted to take a peek inside but I held back. I needed to know what he was planning this time.
"I had asked you to do one thing and you couldn't even fulfill it."
What had he asked and to whom?
"I did what you told me to."
I knew that voice. Countless times, it was the same voice that comforted me, encouraged me.
Mom.
What had she done?
A loud crash, sounded from inside the room. It seemed like Dad's anger had reached the threshold. I was just about to step in when the words that came from his mouth struck me like a bolt of lightning. "You did? Then why the hell does that girl want to meet Devon?"
"What?" Disbelief was written all over Mom's face.
"Yes. I had someone to keep an eye on that girl. He told me that her fiance was asking for a meeting with Devon this morning. Obviously, it has to do something with that girl. Why the hell does your son get himself involved with such orphans and low-class girls? First that Jasmine and then that— what was her name..."
"E...Eva?" Mom stuttered.
"Yes, Eva. That girl." Dad almost spat her name out scornfully. It made my heart drop. The hate he held towards the girls I befriended in my life was not hidden from me. I have seen it with my own eyes and heard enough with my ears.
However, what surprised me more, that my mother knew it. And, she did not oppose him... He hired someone to follow Jasmine and what was that about Eva?
*
I was jolted back to the present. That memory was too painful to bear. Leaning my head against the steering wheel I thought back to the time I met Eva, for the first time.
Dressed in a cotton blue top paired with white knee length skirt, she was running around the orphanage garden, playing with kids. Her long black hair fluttered behind her back as she tried chasing a boy around 4-5 years old. The first thing that caught my attention was her laughter. The carefree and joyous sound coming from her had pulled me towards her and like a fool I had stood staring at her forgetting the fact that besides me stood the caretaker and Jasmine, talking about the event we were holding.
The memory of her beautiful face was forever etched in my mind and maybe, in my heart too. When did it happen? I don't know or how it happened, I don't know but it was that day when my heart felt the first flutter.
However, her fallen figure flashed before my closed eyes. I sat up suddenly and gripped the steering tightly. I had driven away in a hope to divert my mind and yet, here I was ready to drive back.
What shall I do with my feeble mind?
*
Today was Monday and after I visited Eva on Saturday, this was my chance to see her. There would be a guest lecture from a person with industrial experience for final year students. This was my opportunity. After I had found Eva's whereabouts, I knew it would be difficult to reconcile because she would be reluctant. I was right. Eva indeed was reluctant if her behavior of that day was any indication.
So, my decision of being the guest lecturer in her college was for the best... at least for now. Thankfully, I knew a professor. In fact, he was my friend and batchmate too. While I opted to work in my company, he chose the teaching profession. This helped me in entering this college and the department.
"Welcome, Mr. Knight. We are glad to have you. Thank you for being here, Sir."
I nodded at the student coordinator. I had made myself comfortable with the work to be done on Saturday itself. This was just a formality, and on my insisting -Ryan , my friend, managed to arrange a cabin to share for my temporary stay in the college. Of course— the cabin belonged to Eva.
Now, all that remained was to wait for her to come. Like a star waiting for the Moon's arrival in the sky to light up its whole world, I was waiting for her too.
The past few days, were tough, very tough. In addition to the betrayal of my family, there were some facts that I discovered. In the abyss of darkness, I was on the verge of losing myself but then by some miracle I found my path.
Path— that leads me to Eva.