A few hours after she had given her statement, Ruby lay restless in her lone hospital bed; Miyako offered to pay her company, yet she quickly noticed that Ruby needed some alone time right now. By 7:00 am, Ruby had already tried to fall asleep for almost 2 hours. It's not that she wasn't tired, quite the opposite, even, since the day she had behind her was impossibly long, but she just couldn't stay asleep for more than a few minutes at a time. She kept tossing and turning around; the soft pillows and blankets she had hoarded around herself gave her at least a small sense of comfort; the bright light of the room, on the other hand, not so much. Regardless of this, she still decided to keep it on; sure, it could definitely have been the reason for her restlessness, but it just felt right to her.
I wonder what Mom would do in my situation.
Would she also just lie in bed and let the things around her continue as they wish?
I'm older now than mom ever got to turn… This makes me sad.
But it cannot be helped…
Mom is gone, and she will never come back; perhaps there will be an afterlife where I can see her again.
That would be great.
But for now, I think I'll have to push on without you.
Why am I so sentimental all of a sudden, though?
I haven't really thought about what mom would do in my situation in years.
Yeah, I stopped doing it, and I should definitely not relapse now.
I must continue making my own decisions; I am not Mom, and that's a good thing.
So the real question I should be asking isn't if mom would lie in bed while all this went down, but if Ruby would…
I think I- *RING* … *RING*
Any hint of prior exhaustion evaporated as Ruby's loud ringtone echoed through the otherwise quiet room, making her jolt upright, out of her thoughts. Her hand reached instinctively out for her phone, her fingers desperately cramping to turn the volume down before even checking who was calling. A faint blush spread over Ruby's face as she worriedly glanced at the door, hoping nobody had heard it. Then, after a few seconds of nothing but silence except for her quiet phone, she glanced at the screen, it was Kana.
10th of January, 7:00 am, Kana's room
Kana's room wasn't recognizable; the same surfaces that were covered by dust, plates, and dirty clothes were now shiny, looking brand new. Every trace of the broken makeup as well as the torn apart photographs was gone, already replaced by new ones. A few rays of the rising sun shone onto Kana's face through the curtains, which hadn't been this drawn open in weeks. The gentle warmth made the skin around her wound prickle a bit, but it felt really good.
She had hardly slept last night, just like the last few nights, but this night was different. It wasn't pain, fear, or the unbearable call of the void that she had heard more often than she liked that had kept her awake; it was anticipation.
I will definitely take her up on that offer.
Sure, I could fall on my face, but as of now fuck it, I have barely anything to lose anyway.
The only thing I have are those few minutes of internet fame, and I'd be dumb if I didn't use them.
I'm really glad I asked Mem about her opinion.
Apparently, I had my mind made up all along, but the way I know myself, I would've found a way not to accept it after all if I hadn't talked to her.
It was a good call to ask Mem and not Ru-
"God damn it-" Kana said as she almost jumped out of bed, "I forgot to call her yesterday even though I told her I would."
"Great job, Kana. You are such an amazing friend," Kana mumbled as she hurriedly got up out of bed. The floorboards felt like someone would press ice cubes against her bare feet as she hurriedly stepped over to her bathroom. She quickly got into her shower since a few seconds more of this would have probably killed her or at least given her frostbite on half her body.
Thirty minutes later, she emerged from the bathroom, looking like a completely new person. Her damp hair was firmly secured within a towel which she had wrapped around her head, and her body was covered by her favourite robe. Armed with her pair of slippers, the cold ground wasn't even a worthy opponent anymore as she made her bed with ease.
She checked the first order of business off on her mental checklist once she was happy with the way her blanket and pillows looked. "Should I call Ruby or text Miyako?" Kana mumbled as she sat down at her PC and turned it on. She would've never even in a million years admitted to it, but the way looking at the current landscape of social media made her feel was more than obvious. Kana was never much of a social media person — Well, as little of a social media person as you can be as a social media influencer — but in the last 2 days, she had logged in, back on her now reactivated account, suspiciously often.
What made this entire ordeal especially dubious was definitely the fact that even during all this, she didn't post even a single post; all she did was look at the trends, see herself be the top hashtag, log out again, and smile goofily. So that was exactly what she did.
"I should write Miyako an email before I call Ruby, otherwise I would just forget it again… As if I would forget something like that…" Kana said as she closed the social media tab again and opened her email folder. Apart from a few very lucrative-looking spam emails, which told her she had won the newest phone on the market, her inbox looked like a deserted wasteland; just the tumbleweed and the cricket were missing at this point.
"Okay, now what do I want to say?" Kana philosophized as she pressed on 'write.'
'Hi manager,
I have thought about your proposal regarding the TV program on the evening of the 12th. And I want to be a part of it. I think I can handle whatever they'll throw at me; furthermore, I also believe that I have much more to gain from this. Therefore, I would really appreciate it if you would tell them that I'm in.
Kana.'
Kana leaned back in her chair as her eyes lay on the monitor, watching as the PC sent the mail out, just to return to the prior screen and await its next command. "I hope Ruby isn't mad at me for forgetting." She mumbled as her eyes trailed up towards the ceiling. Kana's eyes wandered through her room for a moment until they landed on her phone, which lay atop her nightstand, as she got up from her chair. Eight entire times, she counted; that was how often it rang. Kana didn't even know it could ring that often before going to voicemail and was about to hang up as Ruby picked up the line.
Kana double-checked that Ruby really did pick up. When she was certain of it, she slumped down on her bed and spoke. "Hey, Ruby," she said as she made herself comfortable on her stomach. "We wanted to call each other yesterday, but it seems like we totes forgot about it… Anyways, I just wanted to tell you that in 2 days I will make my TV comeback, showing my face and all. I know it's really short notice, but it is what it is…"
Kana abruptly stopped after she had just been so submerged within the flow of her own words; however, that Ruby, who was usually so talkative, didn't say anything rubbed her the wrong way. "That's great," Ruby mumbled after Kana was already about to check if the call had ended without her noticing.
Her feet, which dangled in the air above her, stopped mid-movement, and she sat upright. "Ruby, are you good?" She asked; the fluffy tone from her voice disappeared in an instant. "Yeah, just a bit tired," Ruby replied after a few seconds in which Kana could've sworn she was able to hear faint beeping sounds.
One of Kana's eyebrows rose ever so slightly. "Why are you tired? Matter of fact, shouldn't you be in school right now?" Kana swiped the call away from her phone into the background to look at the date, "Yeah, today is monday… Don't say you're skipping again." Kana relaxed a bit and even lay back down.
"I don't skip school, and you know that. I'm just a bit sick, probably caught something while I was outside," Ruby said.
"That's a Bummer…" Kana said as she relaxed deeper into her comfy pillows; she even pulled her blanket over her again since her calls with Ruby usually lasted at least a few hours. Then, suddenly, a lightbulb went off in her head, and she dropped her voice a bit. "Should I make soup for you?" A quiet giggle escaped her lips, "You know, an eye for an eye, but in a positive way?"
"... No need for that," Ruby said, "I just need a bit of sleep, that's all…"
"Are you sure?" Kana asked, "Did you already take your temperature?"
"Kana-"
"And are you sure it's nothing serious? Did you already see a doctor?"
"Kana I-"
"When was the last time you ate something?"
"KANA!" Ruby shouted. Mortified by her own volume, she dropped her voice even lower than it had already been before, "Could you please just leave it be? I don't want to talk right now…"
"...Ruby…" Kana's carefree voice was replaced again. "You aren't honest with me, right?" A heavy knot formed inside Kana's stomach as she spoke.
"Kana… Please just leave me alone…" Ruby's words felt to Kana even worse than being slashed across the face — well, not really, but it came somewhat close at least.
Should I just let it go?
I mean, she also gave me my space when I needed it.
So it would be kind of rude of me if I wouldn't do the same for her.
If she wanted to tell me, then she would tell me.
But I also didn't tell her that when she visited me, and I also didn't really want for her to stop visiting me, it was just so uurgh- I think I know what to do-
"Okay…" Kana said as she did her best to sound as casual as she could. "But at least tell me if you're in danger," she quickly added. She began to pray to every known God within our observable universe while falling completely still.
"I'm not," Ruby mumbled after Kana had already prayed for a good moment.
Kana opened her eyes and stared intensely at Ruby's profile picture for a moment. On her profile picture, it was just her, smiling with a big matcha, which probably contained more sugar than tea, in her hand. Once upon a time, Aqua was on there, too, but the picture had been cropped since then. "Pinky promise?" she asked.
Ruby sighed, "Pinky promise."
"Alright," Kana said, "I believe you and will leave you be… Just… Just call me when you feel like it again."
"I will… Bye, Kana."
"Bye, Ruby."
Not a single sound echoed through Kana's walls after the high-pitched *beep* sound that signaled that the call had ended.
Poor Ruby, I hope she's okay.
But what could it be that is causing her trouble?
Her voice…
She never sounds like that. Something is seriously wrong with her.
But, like, I can't just go and visit her.
I promised I'd stop nagging…
Is this selfish? Well, she said she's safe, and I wouldn't want to strain our friendship.
The last time someone did that was Aqua… And now she hates him.
Maybe it's Aqua.
Could it be that he did something to upset her?
But what could he have done to upset her this much?
Maybe I should ask him myself; it's not like we don't know each other.
Kana was ripped out of her thoughts as she could feel her phone vibrate. She hadn't even noticed that it had found some way to slip out of her hand and beneath her body, so she now lay on top of it. It felt warm, almost comforting, as she pulled it out from underneath her belly and turned its screen on. On it lit up was a single new message, an email from Miyako.
'Good morning, Kana,
I'm glad you've made your decision. I already told them that you will participate, yet there is a small problem.
It appears that I have not done my research thoroughly enough.
Let's drop the formalities. I am really sorry, Kana. I messed up. This TV sender seems to be known for publicly humiliating their participants, using their vulnerabilities and even trauma against them. Apparently, they had a lot of backlash because of this already. I really don't understand how something like this could just slip past me.
I should've been more careful when they wanted to do this on such short notice and without a script.
Canceling it now won't be easy either. It was my mistake, so I would obviously take the fall for it. But they would most likely also try to drag you down, digging up old scandals to blackmail you into participating.
Please call me when you feel the need to discuss this further or want advice. Either as your manager or as a person who cares about you.
I am truly sorry,
Miyako.'