"An incomplete summoning, but the call stands. Go forth."
"Me? What a hassle."
"…Hm."
"What an opportunity!! I'm coming, Jeanneeee!!"
Summoning Arc: Religious Truth—Secret 2 A.M. Doctrine Edition
"Master, wake up. Get up already."
It was the dead of night. One figure roused Master Rikka from sleep.
"Ugh… huh…?"
"Hurry up. Dawdle any longer, and I'll dress you myself."
"…Alter?"
"Yes, your Alter. Evening greetings at midnight—now get out of bed."
Urged by a fidgety Jeanne Alter, Rikka stumbled out of her sheets.
"What's… what's going on? Simulation?"
"No, not a simulation. You can do that nonsense early in the morning. We're doing something way more fun."
"Fun…? So sleepy…"
"Wash your face, Master. If some creep shows up in the mirror, call me. I'll burn it."
"Wha~…? What're we doing~?"
"Heh, I'll let you in on it, Master. It's something truly spectacular."
With a wicked grin, Jeanne Alter spat out her curse-laden plan.
"Operation: Sneakily Summon a Saber at the Witching Hour!"
In the summoning room:
"Seriously, Jeanne…? We're doing this?"
"Of course we are. I've watched the staff work the controls—I can handle the summoning circle."
"But won't Roman or Gil get mad…?"
"Hmph, we're fine, Master. We won't get caught. We're not doing anything wrong. Ever heard of the 2 A.M. Doctrine?"
"2 A.M. Doctrine? A gacha religion?"
"Exactly. Those goons on Goldie's favorite PleasureNet said it: 2 a.m. is when magical energy peaks, perfect for summoning. Which means—"
"Means what?"
"We can summon his Saber! Isn't that the smartest strategy ever?"
"Oh… got it! Wait, will Gil be happy about this?"
"Ecstatic, absolutely. Picture it—the look on his face when we pull a Saber…"
"His face…"
~Flashy flashback to Jeanne~
"Hah! How's that?! I summoned your bride for you! Netori! That's what they call it, right? How's it feel? How's it feel?"
"…"
"Guh—impossible…! My luck's outdone even by you…!"
"Hahaha! Sucks to be you! Loser! Loser! Extra loser!"
~End flashback~
"Heh, pfft, hahaha!"
~Flashy flashback to Gudako~
"I ask of you—are you my Master?"
"Well done, Master! You're my pride and joy! Come here, let me pat you!"
"Yay!"
~End flashback~
"…Let's do it!"
"Yeah!"
The two clasped hands firmly.
"Let's fire up the summoning circle. Stand back, Master. Boop."
Jeanne hit the button and dashed to Rikka's side.
"Behind me. If some unhinged Servant shows up, I'll torch them."
"Uh, okay."
"Come on, Saber…! For the sake of his grinding teeth!"
The light faded, revealing—
"—Jeanne. Your unworthy Gilles de Rais—at your side."
"'Roar, my wrath, La Grondement Du Haine'—!!"
"HOAAAA—?!?!"
Gilles writhed, roasted by the flames of her vengeance.
"Sorry, Master. I summoned a deranged lunatic."
"I-Is he okay? Gilles is your…"
"Right now, nothing's more important than you. Shut it, Gilles. I'll kill you."
"Oh, Jeanne… Jeanne. This ferocity, this intensity… You are truly Jeanne…"
"No use for your Innsmouth face now. Greetings tomorrow. Next!"
Kicking him aside, Jeanne activated the summoning circle again.
"Not a bad warm-up. Next one's a Saber, I know it."
"Such confidence!"
"Trust me, like I trust you. Here it comes!"
What appeared was—
"Assassin, Carmilla. …Well, well, a familiar face, witch."
"Another deranged lunatic?! Change!"
"How rude. I'm offended. Shall I kill you?"
"I'll burn you first. Wanna die?"
"Wait, wait! Stop, stop! No fighting, okay?"
"Hmph. Calling me at this hour—what did you expect from a Servant like me?"
"Get lost, old hag."
"What?"
"Hey, hey, hey! Next one, let's go!"
"Fine… Next one's the one!"
The summoning circle spun, light swelling and subsiding.
"Saber, Saber… Come on, Saber!"
"Gil…!"
What appeared was—
"…Servant, reporting for duty. Are you the Master who'll offer me blood?"
A lavishly dressed man wielding a lance.
"Uh… the patriot with the lance?"
"—Indeed. I am the guardian of Wallachia… and a cursed vampire. You're my Master. Pleased to meet you."
"Y-Yes…"
"Good job, he seems to like you. But what's this?! No Saber… Why?! Isn't this the prime summoning hour?!"
"Maybe it's not a sure thing… We planned for ten, and the last one's a guaranteed ticket, so…"
"A failure…?! No, no, I won't give up! Anzai-sensei said it—'The game's over when you give up!' Keep going, and dreams come true!"
"But we're out of summons…"
"Then we'll… sneak into his bedroom and steal his tickets…!"
"Well, now? Sneaking into whose bedroom to steal whose tickets?"
"—!!!"
"Huh?! Obviously, I'm gonna steal Goldie's tickets—"
"A-A-A-A-A-A-A?!"
"Well said, Jeanne Alter. Tainting a king's bed and earning a thief's infamy—quite the growth. Dragging the Master into your villainy? Are you a grade-school delinquent?"
Gilgamesh's smile was radiant—if you ignored the fully dilated pupils in his eyes.
"W-Well, uh… I mean…"
"Now—the punishment for disrupting my summoning. You're ready, I presume."
"—!!!"
"Wait, wait, wait, Gil! It's my fault for not stopping her! Spare Jeanne Alter—"
"It was me! I dragged Master into this! So don't send her to purgatory—"
"Equal judgment, fools!! Repent in the depths of the underworld—!!"
The Babylonian☆Fist of the king crashed like thunder onto their heads…
…Wha…? What's happening…?
As punishment for their unauthorized summoning:
"I'm a terrible Master."
"Ugh…"
"I love my Master."
"Don't look! Don't look—!!"
The two were forced to hold Babylonian tablets and kneel in the control room for half a day, on display.
"Oh? You're on toilet duty too? Toilet Leader Okita will teach you the ropes! First, master Instant Movement!"
"No way—!!"
"I'll help too—HOAAA—?!"
"Die!! This is the women's bathroom!!"
"The toilet—?!"
--+--
T/N: Although I'm an inexperienced Editor, I do have a Patreon account! Although it seems like I don't have many supporters right now, my webnovel will be released in full every day, and the advanced chapters will be uploaded to Patreon.
It may not be worth it now, but who knows, it might be different in the future. Who knows!
patreon.com/Greyhounds
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