Chapter 305: Solving Han's Problem
A house, preferably near Pasadena, would be simple enough for Ron, who could disregard price and focus solely on comfort.
His cousin Claire's husband, Phil Dunphy, was one of the best real estate agents in Los Angeles—he could easily handle the job.
Now, Ron had an even more important task: helping poor Han out of a jam.
Han's mother was flying in from Korea the day after tomorrow, and Ron hadn't yet fulfilled his promise to hit up the strip club for him—hiring the fake girlfriend Han needed to fool his mother. He planned to go now.
When Ron mentioned his intention to visit such an establishment at the lab, Howard and Rajesh immediately flanked him like his wingmen.
"How can you go to a place like that without your boys? Ron, with our friendship, I'd follow you anywhere," Rajesh, the right-hand man, grinned from ear to ear.
"Come on, what makes me look like someone who goes there for kicks? I'm just going to meet someone." Ron helplessly brushed Rajesh's hand off his shoulder.
"I know, I know. Howard always says that when he goes to places like that, right, Howard?" Rajesh raised an eyebrow at Ron with a knowing look. Ron had no idea this seemingly innocent Indian guy had such a sly side.
"Always? Howard, you go there often?" This discovery surprised Ron a bit.
"Of course," Rajesh interrupted before Howard could speak. "At that club on Fifth Avenue, there's even a pole named after Howard."
Howard spread his hands, looking smug.
Ron rolled his eyes. What's so impressive about that? Just wait—when you get married, Rajesh's big mouth will blow your cover!
"Now I understand why you can't save any money even though you live with your mom. Turns out you're blowing it all on stuff like that. Wouldn't it be better to invest that cash?"
"Please, Ron, investing is risky. The stock market's full of Wall Street sharks. One wrong move and you could lose everything. Might as well spend it and have a good time." Howard walked to the club entrance and joked with the bouncer with practiced ease.
"I don't think Wall Street sharks would even notice your piggy bank," Ron shot back. Perhaps due to his upbringing, even though Ron was now quite wealthy, he rarely spent extravagantly.
Aside from dropping serious money on upgrading his weapons and gear, he rarely made any other major expenditures.
"How about this? From now on, half of your salary for working on my exoskeletons will be paid in US dollars, and the other half in Bitcoin."
"Bitcoin? Isn't that what we mined on the computer at Sheldon's place the other day? You're actually going to pay us with that?" Rajesh objected, displaying characteristic skepticism. "Ron, you're not trying to shortchange us, are you? We're supposed to be friends!"
"Fine, I was just suggesting. If you don't want it, that's cool," Ron said casually, adding mentally, Hopefully you won't be kicking yourselves later.
The girl Han was using to fool his mother was called Sapphire, one of the few dancers Howard hadn't dated. For some reason, despite Howard's height of only 5'5", he always preferred women over 5'7".
"Rajesh, grab a twenty from Han's wallet for a tip." Before coming, Ron had made a special trip to Han's diner, and Han had generously handed over his wallet to Ron. "Mr. Lee is paying for everything today. You guys want to order anything for yourselves?"
"Nah, I already checked—Candy isn't working today. Also, I don't recommend you sit on that couch," Howard quickly warned Ron as he prepared to sit down.
"Why not?" Ron asked, puzzled.
Back in his own territory, Howard suddenly became incredibly confident. He walked to the pole in the room, flipped a switch, and the main lights went out. Under the blacklight, strange linear patterns appeared on the walls and furniture, looking like a badly drawn abstract painting.
"I'm guessing you don't want to sit on someone else's... DNA, right?" Howard pointed to glowing streaks on the wall. "I mentioned this last time I was here. Looks like they haven't cleaned this room in two weeks."
Ron covered his face. "I strongly suggest you try some other, healthier ways to relax."
"No need. The girls here are great, you know? If you see the same dancer twice, she'll comp you a cocktail next time. The bartenders here make killer drinks." Howard slapped the couch a few times ineffectively, scooting Rajesh aside. "You can sit here. This spot's clean."
"No thanks, I'll just stand." Ron stood awkwardly to the side. He didn't want to touch anything in this room.
Although Ron's personal life had become rather complicated since embracing the American lifestyle, he always kept things consensual and straightforward. He'd never been to a place like this where you had to pay for attention.
The reason was simple: it was sketchy, and he was paranoid about catching something.
"Ready for a show, gentlemen?" The two nerds had just settled in when a scantily clad Asian woman walked in, striking a pose that perfectly showcased her figure.
"We're ready!" x2.
If it weren't for the unusual circumstances, Ron would have thought they were well-behaved kids getting ready for dinner at mom's house.
"Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!" Ron quickly called for a stop, realizing things were heading in a sketchy direction. If he didn't intervene, this situation was about to go completely off the rails.
"Do you remember why we're here? If you want to have some fun, please wait until we've finished our business and I'm gone, okay?"
Having stopped the two horndogs, Ron turned to the dancer. "Hello, nice to meet you. It might be a bit forward of me to say this now that we've just met, but could you do me a favor?"
"Of course! All the guys who come here ask me for favors, and I'm happy to help—especially someone like you. I might even help you for free."
The dancer, whose stage name was Sapphire, had been eyeing Ron since she spotted his face, practically pressing herself against him. Ron subtly stepped back, creating space.
"I think you might have misunderstood. The help I need isn't like that—it's something else entirely..."
(End of Chapter)
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