Chapter 246: Haley in Trouble
"Yeah, you're right. I'll call Mitchell right now. If Haley gets charged, we'll definitely need a lawyer." After Ron's suggestion, Claire finally regained her composure and returned to her usual take-charge self.
"No, I mean we should see if Haley was subjected to any excessive force or mistreatment during the arrest. If so, we'll need a lawyer to sue the police department for damages."
Ron put on his jacket and pressed the phone back to his ear. "I know another aggressive attorney, but he's way too expensive. So Mitchell's our best bet."
Haley's university is California State University, Fresno, located in the Central Valley city of Fresno, about three hours northwest of Los Angeles—closer to San Francisco than LA.
The Bulldogs were also Phil Dunphy's alma mater.
But Phil wasn't excited about returning to his old school. His perpetually cheerful expression looked serious for the first time Ron could remember. Ron patted his tense shoulder consolingly.
"Relax, buddy. It's just some underage drinking. Trust me, it's no big deal. We all did it in college. She just had bad luck getting caught."
But Ron's words didn't calm Phil. Instead, they made Claire even more anxious. She drove slower and slower, transforming the usually impatient mother into an overly cautious driver.
"Claire, can you pick up the pace? Since when do you drive under the speed limit?" Mitchell asked before Ron could.
"My daughter was arrested and thrown in jail for drinking. I hope she takes some time in there to think about her choices. I'm even tempted to pull over and browse some outlet stores before continuing. Anyone want to buy last season's designer sunglasses?"
Even Phil couldn't help but try to calm his frantic wife: "Easy, honey."
"I can't relax, Phil. She's only been in college for six weeks!" Claire slammed the steering wheel.
"Yeah, everyone goes a little wild when they first get to campus. I remember one night freshman year, some guys from our Ultimate Frisbee team smuggled a case of Old Style into the dorms. You can probably guess what happened next."
Phil's personal anecdote resonated with Mitchell: "Really, there's no need to elaborate. We all have those college stories."
"So Claire, you're really overreacting here. Haley just wasn't smart enough to avoid the campus cops who were looking to make arrests. Instead of putting all the blame on Haley, maybe put half of it on this ridiculous law."
"Think about it—in this country, an eighteen-year-old can get married, have kids, and serve in the military, but has to wait until twenty-one to legally have a beer. It's absurd."
"But..."
Claire started to argue but was cut off by Ron. Remarkably, of the three men in the car, only Ron had the nerve to interrupt Claire when she was worked up.
"Think about it, Claire. Haley was only arrested for drinking—not for dealing drugs, robbing a convenience store, driving drunk, or anything like that. Isn't that something to be grateful for?"
"What kind of college students do those things?"
"If you watch the local news regularly, you'll discover there are plenty of kids who do way crazier stuff. Some are even more reckless than we were back in our day," Ron shrugged. "Honestly, obsessing over alcohol enforcement is kind of missing the point. If they put half that energy into going after drug dealers, we wouldn't have the opioid crisis we do today."
"Exactly what Ron said," Phil shot Ron a grateful look and quickly chimed in. "Hey, is anyone else hungry? Want to grab some IHOP before we head home?"
But Phil's suggestion only earned an eye roll from Claire.
"Ron, I'm just worried about what happens now." Claire felt slightly better after their pep talk. "We did plenty of stupid things back in the day, but we never got caught. I don't know how to handle a situation like this."
"Trust me, trust Mitchell—this is minor league stuff," Ron reassured her. "Besides, in a capitalist society like ours, there's nothing money can't fix.
If all else fails, you can always donate to the Police Benevolent Association and they'll get the hint."
Two hours later, they finally arrived at the Fresno Police Department. Before entering, Mitchell even straightened his tie using the glass door as a mirror, then strode in with the confidence of a seasoned litigator.
"Good evening, we're here regarding Haley Dunphy. I'm Mitchell Pritchett, Ms. Dunphy's legal counsel."
"She doesn't need a lawyer today," the desk sergeant said, glancing briefly at the file without looking up.
"I believe that's my client's decision to make. I need to confer with her immediately, thank you." Mitchell delivered the line he'd memorized from Law & Order during the drive, then quickly picked up a pamphlet and pretended to study it, trying to mask his nervousness.
The sergeant looked up with mild annoyance: "All you need to do is post bail and take her home."
"Really? That's wonderful!" Claire exclaimed. "Officer, I'm not trying to make excuses for my daughter believe me, but don't you think it's a bit of a waste of public resources to arrest kids on campus just because they had a few drinks?"
The officer's expression turned a little unhappy: "Ma'am, your daughter is charged with resisting arrest and assaulting a police officer."
"What!" Claire and Phil opened their mouths in surprise.
"Maybe you should get a real lawyer," Mitchell whispered.
"Okay, let me do it!" Ron, seeing they were all at a loss, stepped out from the back. "Sir, could you please take another look? I think there must be some misunderstanding. Haley's just a bit of a rebellious kid, but I don't think she's rebellious to this extent."
"Maybe you should take a look at this." The police turned the computer screen around, only to see footage of the arrest playing on it.
One poor policeman had just finished shouting, "Stop, put your hands where I can see!" and then, a girl suddenly appeared out of nowhere and sat him down on the ground.
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