Chapter 130: The Inflated Rajesh
The next evening, as Ron sat across from Rajesh at their usual restaurant, he found his mind drifting back to the night before. The unexpected reunion with Fiona had left him with a lot to think about - her transformation from that scared high school girl into the confident woman who'd thrown herself into his arms. He'd stayed longer than he'd planned, and now he was trying to compartmentalize that personal moment while dealing with his friends' latest drama.
"After a wonderful lunch, they urged me to go to People magazine for a photo shoot. Guys, have you ever been to a professional photo studio?"
At the dinner table, Rajesh boasted about his experiences after becoming famous, but unfortunately, no one at the table had actually been there.
Ron raised his hand, pushing thoughts of Fiona aside: "I have. I went with Megan. Michael Bay said I look great on camera and asked if I wanted to be an actor, but I declined. I prefer a freer lifestyle."
"I don't want to be followed around by paparazzi and photographed every day."
"Uh..." Rajesh was stumped by Ron's counter-boasting.
When others said things like that, he might assume they were bragging, but with Ron, Rajesh knew it was absolutely true. He'd seen Ron enter the same hotel room with a Hollywood star and not come out until the next day!
"Besides Ron, I mean."
"Nobody." The three nerdy scientists shook their heads.
"It's incredible!" Rajesh's show-off session finally continued. "Apparently, the camera loves me, and I'm very photogenic. I was standing in front of a starry backdrop, and they told me to strike this pose."
Rajesh placed his hands on the table, his eyes gazing vacantly into the distance. However, all he got was awkward silence from his three friends.
"They're going to Photoshop a supernova in there. They think it'll perfectly capture my brilliant mind."
"Yeah, like a giant, blazing fireball that's about to collapse..." Sheldon's sarcastic comment was interrupted by Leonard's elbow nudging him.
But there was nobody here to stop Ron's zingers: "Or maybe they're trying to say, 'Education doesn't help. In the end, you still need alcohol to talk to women.'"
"Ouch!" Howard snickered meanly.
"Hey, I'd rather hear about your interview story. What did the dean ask you, and what did you guys end up saying?"
Leonard recounted the answers the three of them had discussed: "Howard said it was for the money, Sheldon said it was for the pursuit of knowledge, and I tried to balance it out by saying it was for science."
"I'm guessing the right answer was money," Ron smiled.
"You're absolutely right," Howard said gloomily. "I told you guys all along the answer was money, but nobody would listen to me."
"Only a high school physics teacher like him, who's been getting praised for his so-called achievements and doesn't even have a PhD, would think science is all about money," Sheldon sniffed.
Today, Leonard had only asked them to be nice to Rajesh, not Howard, so Sheldon felt free to take shots at Howard.
"You don't need a PhD for mechanical engineering!" Howard protested angrily.
"But you could get one in other fields. I have a PhD, and it feels amazing," Ron added, piling on Howard.
Rajesh felt ignored, but his phone conveniently rang. He glanced at the caller ID and figured he could still show off: "Oh, it's my assistant Trevor calling."
"This is Koothrappali... OK, add it to my calendar first, then help me think of an excuse why I can't make it. Anything else? Let's wrap this up."
"Oh my God, the university actually gave him a personal assistant?!" Howard said indignantly.
"Thank goodness for that kid, I'd be swamped without his help." Rajesh sighed dramatically.
"But you literally didn't have an assistant until this afternoon."
"True, but I think I need a personal butler," Rajesh took a sip of wine: "Sorry, is there some law here against saying that? Back in India, we usually call them house staff."
"Now?" Sheldon whispered to Leonard.
Leonard had told him that everyone has their breaking point, which was why he'd been so patient and constantly accommodating Rajesh. Sheldon's face hurt from all the fake smiling he'd been doing all day.
"Almost."
"Speaking of staff, I have great news for you. People magazine is throwing a party tomorrow night, and I managed to get you guys invited. Of course, I can't get you into the VIP section, because that's for actual VIPs, and you're just regular people."
"Among certain Native American tribes, when a hunter brags too much about his kill to the rest of the tribe, they banish him from the village and burn his belongings to ward off bad spirits."
Sheldon suddenly launched into this parable, and this time Leonard didn't stop him.
"Of course, we don't encourage superstition, but some folks might get the moral of this story," Sheldon said, his eyes practically boring holes into Rajesh.
However, Rajesh was so buzzed from the alcohol that he completely missed the hint.
"Here, Rajesh, maybe you should pace yourself a little," Penny refilled Raj's glass.
Rajesh grabbed it and downed it in one gulp, then clapped his hands excitedly: "Alright, tomorrow night it is, it's settled."
Howard: "I'd love to go, but I'm busy."
"Uh... no, I... I can't make it." Leonard acted a little conflicted, but his acting was terrible.
Sheldon: "I could go, but I simply don't want to."
Ron smiled mysteriously: "I'd be happy to attend, but if you mention my name to the organizers, I'm pretty sure a lot of people who were planning to go will suddenly have other plans."
"I can't believe this," Penny spoke up for Rajesh: "Rajesh is celebrating his incredible achievement, and none of his supposed best friends are going? You guys should be ashamed!"
"An incredible achievement would be if Rajesh discovered an asteroid heading for Earth and then destroyed it with his mind powers."
"Now that would be cool, and I'd definitely go to that celebration."
Ron nodded in agreement: "If that were the case, I'd even pay to put up a statue of Rajesh on the Hollywood Hills with 'Savior of Humanity' engraved on it."
"Come on, Rajesh is about to be on the cover of People magazine, and he didn't even have to get any Kardashian pregnant to do it."
"Even if he wanted to, he'd need to average 30 points per game in the NBA or win regular season MVP first before any Kardashian would even consider it."
Ron closed his menu. He felt like he wouldn't be able to eat here today anyway, so there was no point in deciding what to order.
"Would you like to go with me?" Rajesh looked at Penny with those pitiful puppy dog eyes, and her heart melted.
"Of course I would, I'd be honored." Penny agreed cheerfully.
Rajesh was extremely proud and bragged to Leonard: "Look at that, I got a date with Penny. I don't know what took you so long."
(End of chapter)
If you enjoyed this chapter, leave a Power Stone or Review!
P@atreon/Soulforger (45+ advanced chapters)
Buy me coffee - ko-fi*com/soulforger01