Hanying opened the door to see his brother standing awkwardly at the entrance. His eyes were full of guilt when they met the princess's gaze across the room. In the simplest words, one could say he had betrayed her. That was the easiest way to put it.
Jing looked back at his sister, who was gripping both sides of the doorway. It was clear, they didn't want him in. Yura turned away when Jing's eyes fell on her again, he was silently begging her to tell Hanying to let him enter. So when the princess looked away in annoyance, he understood where their anger came from. But what was he supposed to do? He couldn't oppose the Emperor's orders, and yet he couldn't put his sister's life in danger either.
Right now, neither the princess nor Hanying could understand him. But if there ever came another time, Jing knew, he would still do the same thing again.
"Ying," Yura said flatly. "Close the door. We shouldn't be seen in a place like this. Others might get the wrong idea and start disrespecting us too."
Hanying gave her brother an irritated look. Jing understood and stepped back a little before opening his mouth to speak.
"Yunxi…"he started, an excellent way to get one's attention is to start with what they are desperate about.
And it worked. Hanying paused, and the princess stopped what she was doing, though she didn't turn to face him.
"It better be news," his sister warned, taking her hands off the door and allowing Jing to step inside.
"Speak!" Hanying demanded.
Jing turned toward her, but Hanying dropped her gaze, unwilling to meet his eyes.
That long silence, gave Yura a sting in her chest. She had feared for Yunxi's life, niw that Jing spoke of him with this kind of way, speaking of his name then keeping quiet. It made her uneasy. Why was this man looking so guilty? And why had he mentioned the boy's name like that? Could it be…was he still alive? All the questions spinning in her head needed answers, but she was too afraid to ask.
"What happened?" she finally gathered the courage to speak.
Jing didn't answer right away, and that silence made the princess panic. She stood and walked straight to him, her face full of desperate pleading. If anything had happened to Yunxi, she would never forgive Jing for not standing up for him. More than that, she would never forgive herself. She had walked away that day, too selfishly trying to save her own life. Deep down, Yura believed that if she had stayed… maybe things would have been different.
"He's alive," Jing said suddenly, cutting through her thoughts. He stepped forward and pulled her into a hug. "In fact, he's fine. So please, be at ease."
In his arms, the princess broke down. Her heart shattered into pieces. That brief silence had scared her to the bones, she had truly thought Yunxi was gone forever.
"Why didn't you say something earlier?" she cried, clenching her fists and striking his chest. Jing only held her tighter. They had grown up together. He had seen both his sister and the princess come into this world. They might not share blood, but Hanying had always treated Yura as her sister, and Jing had done the samefor some time.
He didn't know when things started to change though.
Jing woke up one and asked his father to let him join the army when he was still very young. Mr. Han refused at first, but eventually agreed. Jing believed that joining the war might be his only chance to escape the prison of slavery and the small moment he and the princess shared, those small moment that made him yern for someone far from status.
He had been born a slave, the son of slaves. And in his early teenage years, Jing realized that the greatest crime he could ever commit was within his own heart.
He had fallen in love with a noble, a royal,.....a princess.
Jing had tried to run from those feelings, but he couldn't. He was a slave. He could never be equal to the one he loved so deeply. If anyone ever found out, he and his family would be executed. He tried to hide his emotions, but it was impossible. His sister, Hanying, was the princess's closest friend. Their mother was the queen's trusted maidservant. Yura visited their home often, and he crossed paths with her almost every day.
Jing began to hate himself for caring so much. When the princess accidentally ate the poisonous berry during a royal hunt, Jing had been collecting arrows. His sister rode behind him on the same horse. At some point, the girls left their horses and walked, talking about the usual girl things. Jing had no idea how they found the berries or why Yura ate them, but when he heard his sister's screams, he rushed to them, only to find the princess lying on the ground.
Her lips were blue. Her skin, deathly pale.
He had carried her onto the horse, leaving Hanying behind, and rode as fast as he could. He didn't stop crying until she finally opened her eyes. He apologized over and over, waiting at the palace gates until his mother scolded him for his stubbornness.
That day, Jing knew his feelings would never fade. So he asked his father to help him apply for the army. The king had promised freedom to any slave who survived the coming war. And his father, Mr.Han had thought that was his son's goal.
It wasn't their kingdom's war. It was side the commander whi was to lead them was a young prince, and their king was indebted ti that Empire. It was bigger and strong than their kingdom. The king had only agreed out of fear. He didn't want to lose his real soldiers though dince he thought they migt lose, so he sent untrained ones instead, the slaves desperate for freedom, the poor fighting for money. Many died. But those who survived… found their freedom in the blood they shed.
Han Jing was one of them. He freed himself and his entire family from slavery. He earned his place in the army.
All for the sake of love. At first Jing wanted to run away from it, as time went on...he wanted to earn all the titles he could get. For he wanted to be worthy of her.
______
Now that Jing thought about it, Yura had always been near him, always by his side.
He held her tightly. "Why? Why didn't you speak up for him? Why?" she asked as she sobbed.
Her sobs grew louder. "You could have done it for my sake atleast!"
She finally pulled away, eyes red from crying. Jing lowered his head, unable to meet her gaze. Looking into her face only reminded him of the guilt that tore at his heart.
He had feared losing her once. And now, he feared it all over again.