Sarah froze for a long time, at a loss for what to say or what would be appropriate to say. Because any words of comfort right now would be superfluous and unnecessary.
Arthur had already heard enough of those kinds of words. So, Sarah continued her questioning.
"Then what happened after that?"
"After that?"
Arthur wearily took a piece of chicken and put it in his mouth. It tasted bland. He frowned and dipped the next piece into some hot sauce to give his taste buds something to feel.
"Of course I had to go in for a deposition. Even though it wasn't considered a direct cause of death, since there was no precedent for this kind of case and it was ruled that Jev had made the decision to kill on his own, I didn't have to go to trial. Still, I was stripped of my license and am no longer allowed to practice as a psychologist."
"Well... that sounds awful..."
Sarah forced a smile. It suddenly occurred to her how someone like Arthur, a person with a bright future, had suddenly fallen into a deep abyss. How must he have felt back then?
Recalling his usual expressions, Sarah figured Arthur must have been in a very bad place at that time.
And she was not wrong; his life then was truly awful.
"But Holland reached out and gave me a chance."
"I can't fix the mistakes of the past, but I can..."
At this point, Arthur suddenly stopped.
He was about to say the word "atone," but it got stuck in his throat.
Was he truly atoning? Or was he just numbing himself with that feeling? To salvage something?
And even so, even if he truly wanted to atone, even if he caught Jev and brought that monster to justice, then...
Would he be willing to forgive himself? Or would his guilt ultimately never be redeemed?
It had been a long time since he had confided in anyone, and not thinking about these things made Arthur seem to lose a little control of himself.
His eyes wandered again, becoming vacant as if he had plunged into deep self-reflection and introspection.
Sarah seemed to notice he was becoming strange and quickly steered the conversation in a different direction.
"Ah, what about the case?"
"Ah, yes, the case."
Arthur regained his composure, returning to his usual self. And as usual, Sarah wanted to hear his opinion.
"Tomorrow, we'll go and investigate Mrs. Brenda's house."
"Investigate? Arthur, you're not planning to break in, are you? And what do you mean by 'we'? I'm not doing that kind of thing."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa! No, not at all."
Arthur rubbed his forehead in explanation.
"It's still by the book."
"How can it be 'by the book' without a search warrant?"
"Of course, it will be by the book. I mean, we'll both just go there to chat, inform her about Scott, and ask for more information from Mrs. Brenda. While you do that, I'll just be wandering around looking for the bathroom, what's against the law about that?"
"Okay, let's say that's true. What are you planning to do? Or rather, what are you looking for?"
"Just to look at a few things, mainly her son's room. Tomorrow is a weekday, we'll choose the right time when the kids are at school."
Sarah nodded upon hearing this. She was a law-abiding person, but if some things weren't too outrageous, she could overlook them. In general, she knew how to be flexible at the right time.
That's why she had been Arthur's partner for the longest time.
Arthur and Sarah discussed a few more things, mainly revolving around the case and their experiences, making the meal less monotonous. Seeing that it was getting late, Arthur paid, and they both left the fast-food restaurant.
Since Sarah's car was in the police station parking lot, which was only three blocks away, they could part ways there.
"See you tomorrow."
"Goodbye."
They both waved goodbye. Arthur watched Sarah's silhouette shrink under the streetlights, getting farther and farther away. Finally, when she reached the parking lot, he withdrew his gaze.
Arthur looked up at the sky. Because of the light pollution, the sky was like a thick, dark blue carpet, with only a tiny moon and a few stray stars. It was gloomy and lonely.
Just like his mind at that moment.
The next day.
As planned, Arthur and Sarah knocked on Brenda's door.
"Officers... what can I help you two with?"
"Mrs. Brenda, may we come in for a moment?"
"Oh yes, of course, please come in."
Brenda said, turning back inside. As soon as she turned away, Sarah looked at Arthur as a signal, and he shook his head, indicating he saw nothing suspicious about the woman.
They both naturally entered the house and even sat in the same spots. Sarah remained the main conversationalist, while Arthur was primarily observing.
He had previously observed the inside of this house, but it was only a quick glance, as his focus was mainly on the owner herself. But now, it was different.
Arthur needed to grasp all the information.
Compared to other normal houses, Brenda's house had far fewer family photos. This was not unusual given her single-parent status. Broken families unconsciously don't want to display too much "evidence" of their brokenness, in this case, family photos.
So, there was nothing strange about this point.
In some of the sparse photos, Brenda's son, a boy named Martin, showed a resistant emotion, perhaps towards being photographed.
The boy's head was slightly tilted and bowed, his hands were behind his back, and his eyes were averted. A shy boy like this, even Arthur couldn't believe he had been placed on the suspect list.
However, based on the general appearance in the photos, Martin was only about seven or eight years old at the time, several years before his current age of 13. During that time, a psychological shift could have definitely occurred.
Children who grow up in this kind of broken family often feel more inferior than others when they realize they don't have a complete mother or father, and this inferiority can develop in three directions over time.
First is becoming more inferior and withdrawn, which is the introverted developmental path.
Second is becoming defiant, using an opposite nature to conceal and deny their inferiority, which is the path of extreme opposition.
Finally, a combination of both of the above, creating a vicious cycle where the more introverted and inferior they feel inside, the more they have to display characteristics that deny it on the outside, which is the cyclical developmental path.