The girls hesitated as they drew close to me. I understood their concern. I am quite tall for a man, and this does cause a lot of people to fidget or look at me askew.
When I was younger, I would hunch a little to avoid those fearful glances but, as I got older, I learned to think of my height as just a tool to assert dominance over special little minds which were overly concerned about such things. Men in positions of power were particularly vulnerable to this.
More than one meek mind had been cowed to silence due to my looming height without my having to send them into the void for a bit of peace.
The girl leading the herd paused in front of me. "Who are you?"
"My name is Taran," I said. Then clapped my hands to let them know just how serious I was about leaving this disgusting little garbage zone of an alley. "Further introductions will be held at a more civilised location. Now, hurry along. Out of the dark. We don't want anyone to mistake us for mooks, do we? We'd never get invited to anywhere if we were. Actually, that doesn't sound so bad now I think about it…"
Shock made them skip along like three startled little deer and then they trotted, elegantly I must say, out of the alley to stand nervously in the relative brightness of a nearby lamp.
Waggenrook lamps are quite warm and cheerful, thanks to the runic enchantments which keep them lit. However, that cheer didn't seem to be spreading into the girls. They looked like they wanted to take flight.
I didn't blame them. But the streets around here were no place for ladies with constitutions as delicate as theirs. I decided to protect them for as long as it took to reach their destination.
Any gentleman would do the same.
"Have no fear," I told them, a little boldly so they knew they were safe under my care. "I'll escort you to safety before continuing on my way."
One of the girls glanced back at the four men squirming like little flies caught in spidery cocoons. Muffled cries for help could be heard. Although, they might be crying for other reasons. That's the problem when you wrap someone up in void rope.
It's hard to know what they're crying about.
"What about them?" Her voice spilled like honey into my ear. Impressed by the empathy she was feeling for mooks who had intended to do terrible and unmentionable things, I felt my stomach flutter. Such innocence should not exist in Waggenrook, let along the world! "What will happen to them?"
"Oh, never mind them," I told her as I began herding them away. "I'm sure their friends will be back for them shortly. They'll be free and back to mooking in alleys in no time, no doubt."
"Really?" She glanced around, expecting mooks to leap out of every shadow like the pack of uncouth rats they were.
"Oh, yes. They're mooks," I said, letting myself show a scowl. Nothing too frightening. Just a big enough scowl to let them know how I felt about mooks. "And they always seem to travel in disreputable little packs, don't they?"
Three hooded figures stared at me, and I couldn't tell what they were thinking.
Only that, as a few seconds ticked past, it started to get awkward.
I tried to get a good look at them, but they were very good at hiding within their cloaks. In fact, they were so good at it that I started to wonder if I'd stumbled upon a trio of rogues or perhaps some mini mooks in training.
Silently, I told myself off for that.
One should never think the worst of a lady and, despite their outward appearance, I was certain these were not the sort of girls who'd sink into the depravity and general unwholesome vibe of common mookery.
"I guess so," one said, and I had the feeling she was trying very hard to be brave.
I wanted to reach out, pull her close, and give her a reassuring squeeze until her bones cracked and her eyes popped right out of her skull. I would never do such a thing, of course. That would be awful for everybody concerned.
But the thought did occur to me, so I thought it worth mentioning.
"One moment," I said, taking a few steps back to peer at the four struggling mooks. "I suppose I ought to make sure they don't suffocate while they wait for their friends to free them. We're not monsters, are we?"
The three girls nodded enthusiastically at that one. I could tell they had gentle hearts and innocent minds, like all good ladies do. It was so hard to find tender-hearted ladies in Waggenrook, and I was more than a little surprised to find three of them in an alley.
I looked forward to hearing their tale. I was sure it would be very dramatic and guaranteed to tug on my heartstrings in a way it was not used to being tugged.
Frowning at the mooks, now hidden from the view of ladies with innocent views of the world, I lifted a hand and spoke words guaranteed to always make the Old Twit quiver. "Numuruz'wyd M'ffz."
Then, tarrying no more than a heartbeat longer, I bustled the girls away as quickly as I could.
Behind us, four gaping holes roared open beneath the squirming mooks and sucked them deep into the void with an inelegant moist slurp. Their screams, already smothered by their bindings, were snipped short by the snapping of one of the Old Twit's many hungering maws.
I chortled a little to myself, I admit.
Nothing makes me happier than feeding mooks to the void.
I could feel the Old Twit's delight at the offered snack, and a heavy pressure brushed my soul for a moment. Not too long, or I'd have been reduced to a gibbering mess right there in the street. I'd be howling all sorts of nonsense about dark things from the void coming to consume all of reality one chunk of flesh at a time.
"What was that noise?" One of the girls let out another adorable squeak and spun around in fright. I couldn't see her face, but I knew her eyes were also very wide.
I wondered what colour they were. I hoped to see them, but I wasn't rude enough to ask a lady to drop her hood. Chances were she had good reason for hiding her appearance, and I wasn't one to intrude on other people's privacy.
As I've nod doubt told you, that's detestable.
So is, I might add right here, reading someone's diary!
"I'm sure it's nothing to worry about," I told her. I put a fresh new grin on my face just for her. One which I was certain would put her at ease. Then I gave her head a gentle pat just to really be sure she felt safe. "Probably just somebody's tummy rumbling. Actually, I think maybe it was mine! Are you hungry by any chance? There's a very nice pie shop just around the corner from here. I was heading there before those mooks caught my attention."
And that's how I met THEM.
THEY who would change my life in ways you'd never believe this early in my diary.
I found them on the ruthless streets of Waggenrook, shaking with fear and surrounded by mooks. I thought them beautiful. I thought them innocent. I thought they wore hoods to prevent me from being blinded by great waves of angelic light whose purity would no doubt stream from their eyes. I thought the hoods to be very considerate on their part if this was the case.
Little did I know the trouble they would bring to me…