The crackling flame was the only light in the darkness of the forest. Amy looked up; there were clouds blocking the stars tonight, the moon too.
Was it going to rain?
She looked at Cassian, he sat opposite her, he stared at the flames. He hadn't said a word since the gate, since he attacked those men. Maybe he was thinking about it. Yes, he had to be. She would too, if it weren't for her other thoughts.
It would be dinner time now. Mrs Fitz would be calling her, she would send Mr Fitz to her door after she didn't respond. Mr Fitz would open the door, and the house would smell like onions and spice.
He would look around in the darkness a bit then he would go back and return with a torch, so he could see better, and he would find the room empty. He would call out to her, but again, she would not respond.
Because she was here.
The converstion with Mrs Fitz played again in her mind and a lump formed in her throat.
What have I done? How could I leave them behind.
They were probably trying to find her, looking for her in the dark.
Maybe she could turn back, she should. But then she would get married. She placed her head between her knees. She couldn't turn back. She'd made her choice
"What next?"
Cassian paused before he responded
"Tonight, we wait."
"Oh"
"And then what?"
He didn't respond. Instead he opened the satchel behind him and took out a piece of cloth and started dabbing his palm. She couldnt see too clearly in the dark, but there was a thick line of black across the both of them
"Are you injured?"
He looked from his palm to her face "Just a scratch" he said, yet he winced when the cloth touched his palm.
"Don't you need help?" Amy asked
He went quiet again before muttering something to himself.
"Did you say something?" she looked at him as she asked
"I didn't say anything." He replied
Amy noded her head. She was starting to question her choice.
He muttered to himself, rather frequently. She'd heard him at least four different times since they left Solmere. Five if she counted this one.
And he was always thinking about something. Never in the moment.
Sometimes, she wasn't sure if he heard her and chose to ignore, or he actually was too deep in whatever he was imagining.
She hadn't asked about it, because she didn't want to seem annoying. But there was something else, a different reason wrapped by the first.
She was afraid. Afraid that if she asked, she would get an answer she didn't like. And she would find out that Cassian was just a confused, and possibly deranged person. And that she had thrown away everything—Her life, her family, her only chance at marriage—all for his offer.
For a purpose that now seemed vague.
"We go north"
"What?"
"I told you we were headed north, so, we're going north…I just wanted to let you know"
"Do you have family there, in the north?" She asked
"No, I don't" there was a tone to his voice when he said that
"Somewhere else then?"
"I don't have family anywhere"
"So…estranged?" She pressed on
He raised his head upstared at the flames, then looked up "Dead" he responded flatly
The wind stopped blowing, and all the animals in the forest stopped chirping and cawing and calling.
"I'm… sorry"
"Don't be," he responded his eyes back on the flames
"It was a long time ago"
"How did it happen" her voice was almost a whisper when she asked and she wanted to bite her tongue.
"You should get some rest , we'll have to start walking early tommorow if we want to get to a road."
Amy laid down with her back to the flames and Cassian. He missed his parents.
He didn't need to say it, it was in his eyes, and in the way he said it.
She shouldn't have asked him about them.
She shouldn't have abandoned Mrs Fitz. After she said she loved her.
What kind of a person does that
She felt the mush of the grass through the clothes she laid down and the sting as they bit into her skin.
She closed her eyes and hoped the North was worth it.
They started walking before the sun, the shrubs and twigs didn't agree with her clothes.
She didn't want to walk in these conditions, but she didn't have a choice. And cassian, didn't seem to notice that she was struggling or maybe he did and just didn't care. She looked up and saw as he walked past the trees. The forest was still noisy, even this early. She didn't mind the sounds around her.
They kept out her doubts, all the little worries in her mind. She increased her pace and caught up to Cassian
"Is it cold up north" she asked
"What?" he asked without looking back
"The weather. Is it always cold or do you have summers too."
"We have summers. Just shorter ones. And the winter storms heavier, colder"
"They say it is because that was where the holy war happened. That was where it started."
"I don't know about that"
"About the holy war? You're from Norrath. Isn't this common knowledge"
"why would it be common knowledge?"
"Well, It's the centre of light. The place closest to Korvus. It would make sense that you talk about these things"
"We do talk about them," cassian said as he pushed past a branch "Just not things like where the holy war happened. Only truths. Things in the scriptures… But it doesn't matter anyway"
"Why?"
He paused as if he didn't hear her, but she knew he did because he sighed
"Nevermind." He finally said
The rest of the walk was quiet. He didn't even let them stop, not once to do anything.
After a while, he stopped, at the edge of the forest. Amy looked down the slope, and there was a road.
"We'll stay here for the now. Close to the road" Cassian said as he turned around
The sun set. Cassian made a fire.
Same as yesterday, there was nothing to say. Nothing to talk about. Maybe he just didn't have questions. Or he was angry about the ones she asked yesterday.
"Those people you stay with, Are they your real parents?"
She turned around. At least she knew he wasn't angry about her questions
"No. They're not"
"What happened to your real parents?"
"My mother died at child birth. Something about it must've affected my father, because he left me some years after. The Fitzgeralds took me in. So in a way, they are my parents."
And she'd left them with a heap of debt and apologising to do
Something tugged at her heart as she thought about it
"They'll be fine" Cassian said,
She just nodded her head and hoped, prayed he was right.