"Why is it you, you white-haired Tuna!"
"Don't call me a white-haired Tuna! You rotten slacker!"
The moment Mo Wang saw the girl in front of him, his anger flared. The feeling was clearly mutual.
The white-haired girl before him was, without a doubt, the number one protagonist of Honkai Impact: Kiana Kaslana.
However, Mo Wang felt zero affection for her just because she was the main character.
In fact, you could say she was his mortal enemy.
In his life as a slacker, Mo Wang had met all sorts of people.
But he had never met anyone quite like Kiana.
Their first meeting was in the St. Freya cafeteria.
Mo Wang had fought with the strength of nine bulls and two tigers to claim the last chicken drumstick in the cafeteria. Just as he was about to snatch his prize, a long leg suddenly shot out from beside him, stealing the drumstick right from under his nose.
That's right. The culprit was none other than Kiana, who had overslept in class and was now sprinting through the cafeteria.
And after swiping the drumstick, the girl even had the nerve to shoot him a smug look.
From that day forward, the two were officially at war.
Since both were undisputed masters in the art of slacking off, they would often run into each other in the most unexpected ways.
Like the time they ended up in a one-kilometer dash to be the first in line at the cafeteria.
Or the times they resorted to all sorts of dirty tricks to secure the best nap spot.
Throughout their many clashes, Mo Wang had lost more than just his dignity; he'd lost unopened drinks, sausages from his bowl, all kinds of other delicious snacks, and several newly bought manga.
Of course, Mo Wang wasn't one to be bullied. While taking these losses, he'd retaliated more than once by lacing these items with Reaper Peppers, Indian mango chutney, and powdered Buffett's Sour Candy.
And the most ridiculous part of it all? Their dorm rooms were right next to each other. (Don't ask. The simple answer is that St. Freya hasn't built a boys' dorm yet.)
Now, bumping into each other again like this... it truly was a case of enemies being destined to meet.
[The Savior of a Certain Human Order]: You picked a fight with the main heroine right off the bat? Bro, you've got guts.
[The Owner of a Certain Video Store]: This version of the white-haired girl has more personality. The two I've got are both kuuderes.
[A Certain Blond from Teyvat]: What's wrong with a kuudere white-haired girl? You fiend! Take my Salted Fish Thrust!
[The Trash-can King on a Certain Train]: After all, white-haired characters are a national treasure! By the way, aren't we supposed to be Kiana-stans? This isn't how you do it. If you piss her off, how are you supposed to build your harem later?
[The Slacker King of a Certain Hyperion]: Nonsense! I can't stand that Tuna!
[The Savior of a Certain Human Order]: Brothers, we have a heretic in our midst! This man dislikes white-haired girls!
[A Certain Blond from Teyvat]: You're not Mo Wang! Who are you?! How did someone who dislikes white-haired girls get into this group?!
[The Trash-can King on a Certain Train]: Someone kick him out! Now!
[The Slacker King of a Certain Hyperion]: Get lost, all of you!
"You slacker! Why are you blocking my way?! Can't you see I'm going to be late?!"
"Oh-ho! White-haired Tuna, you're the one who crashed into me, and now you have the audacity to play the victim? You want me to go tell Mei you're slandering me?!"
"Go on, then!"
"You think I won't dare?"
The two glared daggers at each other. Sparks practically flew between their eyes.
The atmosphere crackled with tension, as if two cosmic deities were locked in a celestial struggle.
The terrifying aura they projected seemed poised to shatter the very fabric of space.
Time itself seemed to grind to a halt.
The Great Dao was on the brink of annihilation.
Just as Kiana's claws came out and Mo Wang rolled up his sleeves, ready to teach her a lesson in 'reason,' his phone buzzed.
When Kiana saw the number on the caller ID, her fierce expression instantly turned to one of pure dread.
"Hello?! Kiana! Where on earth are you?! Do you have any idea we have an important assembly today?!" Mei's voice crackled from the other end of the line.
It was so loud that even Mo Wang could hear it.
"Whoa, Mei's actually mad. You're in for it now," Mo Wang whispered, covering his mouth and doing nothing to hide his glee.
"Mei, listen to me, I can explain! Yes, I'll be right there!" After hastily placating Mei, Kiana hung up and shot Mo Wang a venomous glare.
"Slacker, you just wait! I'll get you for this, sooner or later!" With that, Kiana took off like a shot, vanishing in a blur.
"Tch! Anyone can make empty threats! I'll be waiting! And I'll be the one to get you!" Mo Wang retorted, shouting after her.
"I bet that girl's going to try and steal my food again. If only I could just issue an order banning her from eating snacks," Mo Wang sighed, unsure if he was more worried about his precious snack stash being raided or the fact that he'd have to find a new hiding spot again.
"Wait a minute... issue an order?" A thought suddenly struck Mo Wang, and he pulled out the letter of appointment from before.
"Heh! That's right! I'm the captain now!" An expression worthy of Tom the cat spread across his face.
"Kekeke... You foolish Kiana. This time, I guarantee your life is about to get very colorful. Just you wait!"