"Maaaa…"
A soft whine. It'll stop soon. Little cuties like him do this all. It's normal. Perfectly normal. Just a part of the circle of life. You need to breathe... Breathe.
Breathe...
"Maaaa…"
Maybe it's even… sweet. A tiny creature calling out, needing comfort. Poor soul in need of comfort, alone in his distress.
Maybe she or he just had a bad dream... that also happen
Poor little guy attacked by bad spirits in his dream.
That's all. Just a need of a pair of hands on him… the pure biological need love. Pure, innocent.
Sweet
"Maaaaa…"
Jezzzzzzzz
Think about something else. A grocery list. How to do a perfect breakfast
...
Bread, milk, eggs, bacon, pasta with sugar… everything for a nice morning.
"Maaaaaaaa !!!"
Ok
Think about another things, nice little things, that bring joy to your heart
That one funny YouTube video, the one with the dog on a skateboard. Yeah, focus on that.
Good little dogo. Nice puppy ears...
sweet
"Maaaaaa…"
Okay, no—ignore it. Noise is just vibration. Just atoms bouncing off eardrums. Harmless. Like wind in the trees. Like waves.
"Maaaaa…"
I am calm...
I am one with the universe and the universe is one with me.
I am FUCKING Ghandi, Buddha... or I don't know other bald asshole who rhyme with "peace" and "no anger"
All life are inherently good.
I am at peace. I am in the nirvana. I am only tranquility and calm.
I am unconcerned
I am free from the noise, from anger, free from desire.
Free from the burden of life
ahhhhh
...
"Maaaaaa."
Jesus Christ and all his angels. Every harp out of tune. Every wing flapping off-beat.
"Maaaaaa…"
Keep calm. Keep calm. It's just a baby. It's just a—
"Maaaaaa."
Shut the fuck up, you little piece of cow shit, or I swear I will piss in your next dinner!
"Maaaa..."
"What is it Kenji ? Feeling bad ?"
The nurse says with a big smile while taking the annoying little thing in her arms, rocking it for a few minutes until the screaming stopped and the snoring came, almost as annoying, but certainly less loud.
Thank Kami
Or thank you woman
"It is sure that with this one around, so close to me, I wouldn't sleep eother." SHe says while giving me a quick looK
...
I see, as nice as ever.
At least between two comments about me and three time where she does like she doesn't see me screaming when abruptly wrap me and put me to sleep, this patron can be somewhat good at her job.
"At last, calm"
I think With a half smile on my face as the woman leave the room, annoyed by the never ending comments and rudeness, but at least happy to have silence again.
Ah. So nice.
"Maaaa..."
"Oh god." I whisper in my breath, although "agagougaga" seems to be closer from what get out of my mouth, as I move every two seconds in my bed. Even putting my pillow on my face, everything I can think and do to get rid of this STUPID NOISE.
I swear, when you will grow up, I will make sure to be your friend.
"Maaaa…"
It's fine. It's fine. Just a baby. Someday you'll grow up. Someday we'll get along.
"Maaaaa…"
Yes, yes. I'll be your friend. We'll laugh together. I'll sit with you in the sandbox, sun warm on our backs. I'll help you pack the sand, shape it with little buckets and shovels.
"Maaaaa…"
We'll build something glorious. A sandcastle that stretches tall and proud, with towers and bridges, with shells pressed into the walls. Sooo beautiful, sooo pretty. Only for you. For your joy.
"Maaaaaa…"
And then…
Oh, then I will raise my hand. And I will crush it. Flatten every tower. Smash every bridge. Reduce it to a mound of worthless grit before your stupid baby eyes.
"Maaaaa."
Yes. That will be my gift to you. My love, my patience, my rage, wrapped in the ruin of a sandcastle. Help you build this magnfificent thing, just to crush it under your stupid baby eyes.
You stupid fuck !
"Maaaa..."
And I just can't get over you
i sing between my teeth, desperately wanting to hear anything, anything but that noise. So, I begin to sing this shit even with my crooked voice and only half of the lyrics in mind.
"Maaaa"
Please, in the future, join the ninja academy.
Please, do it !
Do it !
I tremble with joy and impatience at the thought of being authorized to kick your ass on the training ground. I see you dodging, weaving, trying your best… and me, striking just a fraction too late, letting you think you've won, letting you have an once, a little bit of happiness and hope, only to wake you up with a kick in the jugular and laugh as you tumble into the sand.
Someday, little baby, you will learn to shut your mouth. If will teach you how to do it. And make sure you stick to this advice for the rest of your life.
...
?
...
Really ? That threat worked ?
"Few," I let out, as I finally get my chance to lay tranquilly on my bed. My body sinks into the mattress like it was made for me, but even now, sleep feels impossible. For at least the next ten minutes, I lie there, staring at the walls. Counting the sheep jumping on the fence, as my mind refuses to obey my desire for rest.
It is soo strange to be a baby. You literally can't help yourself, whatever you do, how much you are full of energy, it doesn't matter. In an hour at best, you will sleep like... a baby. (wow, i am a genius)
Or at least if no one is there to disturb your sleep.
...
It's been about three months since my rebirth.
I'm starting to get used to the orphanage. Honestly, it's not that hard, I'm a baby after all. The golden rule: sleep when you can, cry when you need something. And poop when... or no, just poop. The only thing I can, at my great shame, not control.
But if we forget this minor inconvenience, it's not that bad. The only problem is the constant crying of the other babies in the room. Seriously, shut the hell up, all of you!
It's really frustrating to feel yourself be this weak. To have to depend on others just for the most basic needs. But well, in two, three, or four years, it should get better. I just have to be patient… patient... calm... gentle... nice... and avoid killing one of these walking alarm sirens.
But what I mostly had to get used to is being his grandson.
Seriously, among all the families in this village, I had to end up with him. What are the chances, really?
But at the same time, I might understand, might. I mean, Taki isn't Konoha. It's a small village. Like, maybe one chance in 500 that I'd end up with him, given the size of this place.
And then, judging by all the reincarnation fanfics I devoured, I'm supposed to be a genius. So it's probably normal to stick me as the descendant of a guy like Kakuzu.
Not that I mind. On the contrary, I'm proud. Even if I don't really know him, I only have a vague idea of what he looks like, it makes me proud to be his grandson. To be the descendant of such a ninja. Of such a man.
It's just… a lot to take in. I just turned three months old, after all.
And especially, from the way people have been looking at me since my birth, it seems like he's far from being liked around here.
Well, technically the popular view on him are unanimous… just not in the right sense of the word. For me at least.
Why did I have to end up with him, really?
If there's one character you absolutely don't want to be descended from, it's him. Even in the other villages.
I've got all the disadvantages of being the son or grandson of a super well-known and hated guy, without any of the advantages.
No bloodline limit.
No prestigious clan.
No scrolls, no techniques, no material inheritance.
Not a dime.
Nothing.
But on the other hand, being loved by no one—yeah, I've got plenty of that.
Well, no one bullies me yet, of course, I'm a baby. But you can really feel that no one would lift a finger for me.
It's even worse than… than… what was his name again?
The little blond?
The little fox?
Fox? Damn, what am I making up? These memory erasures are really pissing me off. Now my brain must be so screwed, I began to imagine things about giant foxes. I truly began to be mad. Or maybe it is my baby condition ? I must have... not more than 6 braincells for now.
Anyway, I remember there is or was an important guy too, with more or less the same problems as me, but at least he had one or two advantages in his deck. Even if I can't remember what they were.
Why the fuck my first thought was a fox ?
Anyway
It's weird. I don't really know Kakuzu and yet I already feel closer to him than to my family from before. It's strange too, I have bits of info about him, a vague idea of his appearance, without ever having met him. And I also know a few things about my village, about the shinobi, about chakra… all that.
Thank god.
...
Well, I'll figure this... thing about ox and blond dudes, out later.
For now, I'm sitting on my bed, wondering what to do.
— Shouldn't I start training a bit? — I ask myself, a little lost.
Alright, what do I already know about this world?
From my memories—without really understanding how—I know:
The five great villages, the workings of the ninja system (simplified version), a few more or less important things about my village, and the basics of chakra.
Okay, basic geography, beginner-level ninja system, and how to train with chakra… that'll do for now.
If my knowledge is correct, after managing to connect with my chakra, apart from the three basic techniques—clone, henge, and substitution—the only possible training for me is chakra control.
I think I'll start with that. The techniques require good dosage to be used, and it's precisely the control exercises that will teach me that. I'll have plenty of time later to learn the techniques.
Plus, the control exercises, when practiced enough, increase my chakra reserves, in addition to improving the proper use of techniques.
So, the earlier I start, the bigger my reserves will be.
"So, it is decided..." I said a little bit louder than before, in a noise that sounded more like a "Mamoamaaa."
Well, the first control training is the leaf one.
"Where can I find a leaf?" I asked myself while scanning the collective room.
Finally, my eyes fall on my blanket.
"Well, at worst I'll get scolded a bit," I said to myself while tearing off a small piece of fabric, about the size of a leaf, which I stick to my forehead.
Okay, so I have to make my chakra circulate on my forehead, not too much, not too little. If I put in too much, the leaf explodes, if not enough, it falls.
I start sending my chakra to my forehead and let go of the piece of blanket.
Ok, I feel it, i feel the chakra on my head. I feel it sticking on this blanked, making it scotched on my face. For a few seconds at least. It holds, trembling, for about two or three seconds (if we are nice) before falling onto the bed.
Ok, It's a good start. Just gotta try again until I run out of chakra.
----‐----------------------‐------------------------------------------------
\Ellipse of 30 minutes/
Wow. I knew it was painful to run out of chakra, but I was so far from the truth.
I lie sprawled on my bed, limbs heavy and useless, a burning pain piercing through every pore of my skin, especially around my stomach, which is the place where my chakra forms, if I remember correctly. One of the biggest center in the body. The pain is like if a hundred tiny, angry serpents were crawling beneath my skin. Every inhale sends a tremor of heat through my torso. It is strange, like i could feel that I am not injured, but still painful.
I know it's necessary. But dear God, this pain... this unbearable, and I must say, quite exquisite agony, is almost too much. Like if my entire body was on the brink of collapse. But I guess it is the price of power. Every ninja worthy of admiration must have endured it, no, has endured it.
Yes, every ninja worthy of admiration has passed by this very painful ninjutsu bullshit.
And I remind myself that one day, when I will be somebody. Somebody that can chose for himself. Somebody that can live his life has he intend it to go... I'll look back at this and laugh.
Or at least I would be happy to have done that, pain or not. With how much it could have helped for my future. Perhaps, i must just restrain myself a little bit. Try to make it less long, maybe the pain just needs to be a little less intense, so I can do something afterward besides whimpering into the mattress.
And also, i could try that, so I can stop sweating so much that I am literally drowning in my own salt water.
Euhhh, disgusting.
But it's a necessary pain... There are much less funny things here that a shredded blanket or a little it of pain in the bones.
Much less funny, like, for exemple, the matron.
She storms in without warning. The door slams against the wall, so powerful it almost makes the floorboards shaking, announcing her arrival like a cannon shot.
Her shadow stretches long across the grim room, crawling up the walls, like a demon's presence. The shadow spilling over furniture, swallowing every corner in darkness. Her presence is heavy and suffocating.
Her face, twisted with pure, unfiltered hatred, seems impossibly large, every feature exaggerated, her gaze like a sharp knife, as the other babies are waking up in screaming. Her eyes burn with the kind of fury that makes time feel so much slower than it is. Her hands clench, trembling slightly, like she is ready to punch someone.
When she moves, she don't do it silently. But she advances more like a storm, ready to walk on and crush everything on her path. Even standing at the far end of the room, I can feel her looming presence from there. Each footstep makes my heart drum faster and harder, each breath she takes makes like a wind in the room, that knocks me further to crawl under the mattress.
There is no comfort, no hope, no joy, only the crushing certainty that she dominates this place entirely, without any disturbance or rivals.
I am small, helpless, and entirely at her mercy.
And she is there, full of furry, and, as always, ready to tear me down. To crush me.
"What did you do!?!" Her voice booms, bouncing off the walls like a thunderclap. Every syllable is dripping of hatred. She asks me like if I could raise up and answer her question.
"You tore your blanket, little shit ! You'll sleep on the floor for a week for that!"
"Wait, what?" I scream inside my head. I know you hate me, but come on, this is too much.
Her hands are hard as steel, her grip so hard she almost breaks me and my bones as she grabs me by the shoulders and shakes me roughly, as if brute force could imprint the lesson deeper than any words. My head bobs like a ragdoll as i feel my body move in a speed I couldn't cope with. My vision blurs. My arms flail weakly, useless against her grip. As all of my body feel an incruciable pain and a dizziness i've never felt in my life.
I could try to explain, to justify. No... what am I saying ? I can't talk !
And she wouldn't care anyway. As she seems to harbour a deep hatred for me, that she makes sure to remind of each time she is in less than a hundred meters of me.
Or maybe she is just searching for a reason to do to that to someone, and she makes sure to peak the only ones that can't talk about it later. And among them, the only one, that nobody cares about.
Every breath I manage to choke is drowned in the roar of her rage. The only moment she stops is when she is moving, as I realise, she is bringing me into another room.
I don't know the pace and my eyes are still too young to see correctly where I am, but I know I've never been there. And from what I see, it an empty room, with absolutely nothing if walls and ceiling. As she drops me without care on the rest of my now shredded blanket.
Wait... it is way more teared down than what I did. I think, as I see the multiple pieces of white sheet.
I lie there, aching in every fiber, tasting smoke and dust, and I can't help but wonder: is this the true path of the ninja? Pain and punishment, mixed with fleeting moments of triumph that crumble in seconds? Perhaps it is. And perhaps, someday, I'll survive it… and laugh.
Perhaps...
"And you'll be deprived of supper," she concludes before slamming the door, leaving me alone in total darkness.
"Why? Why me?" I ask myself, over and over again. I know what I did wasn't right. But do I really have to suffer this much?
Despite my soul's age, I'm still a baby. With the emotions of a baby.
So, as babies do, I cry.
I start crying, unable to stop. For hours.
Or maybe it is not jsut the "baby body", but also something else.
Yes...
This pain… I've already felt it before: abandonment, hatred, not having anyone who loves you, this constant rejection. I thought I had left it behind me. I was wrong.
"Will there at least be one person in this universe who will love me?" I ask myself, between sobs.
The hours pass, and little by little my eyes dry out. My reason takes over my emotions.
I slowly lift my head, thinking of that woman… and her words.
That meeting, so short, yet full of love.
Simple words, but words that, somehow, anchored themselves in me. Like a guide who would have taken my hand, when no one ever had.
These words now feel more than just advice, they've become life goals.
Because even if I only knew her for a few minutes, my mother cared for me. I saw in her eyes an unconditional love, something so unknown to me. And I know that these words were what she wanted for me.
Madam…
No.
Mothe
No.
...
Mom…
I'll make sure to follow your last wishes. To be free, and to live for what I believe in.
"No time to cry," I tell myself as I notice the little pieces of paper scattered on the floor. "I have to become strong."