01. "ENOUGH DAMAGE"
This time she could really be out of my life, we were in a middle of starting a relationship, a beautiful Sotho girl with a guy from the hood, that could've been a good combination only if I hadn't did what I'm good at and messed it up.
If it was me, I would leave too because I've done so many wrongs, apologized thousand times but it's clear I didn't mean any of the apologies. I should've meant it when I said I'm making amends because now my toxicity is the reason why we will never know what it's like to be in a relationship with each other.
I fucked up the first time a few weeks after we met, she almost left, I changed her mind, I fucked up two more times, she couldn't take it anymore, she took a decision to keep her love and care and now I'm in this room, trying to get back the chance and make it right.
I know it's hard to love me, it's hard to keep me in her life, I know I've made a lot of empty promises to her heart, she was really down for me, so genuine and affectionate, we had phonecalls late at night and good vibes every single time we'd be together.
This time she really could be out of my life..
02. "WE COULD'VE BEEN"
We could've been on a phonecall right in this damn second, around this time of the day, she would text me and tell me she wanna talk to me, we could've been talking for a good hour, about her day and her thoughts, we could've been a girlfriend and a boyfriend if only I would just protect our situation from my flaws.
I guess I was looking for an escape, so much to a point that I couldn't even see what's in front of me, I did a lot of wrongs and each time I came back with a list excuses. She gave me multiple chances until she had no more chances to give anymore, now we walk by each other as if we never shared a moment.
We could've been kissing so good, we could've been each other's safe space, I could've been the love to her heart and she would be the balance to my crazy world. We could've been a good couple if only I would just keep my bullshit away from our circle.
I guess it was just for a good moment because it wouldn't simply wash away if it was meant for a lifetime. It's funny because a year ago, exactly around this time, we were close as lovers and now we walk by each other as if we don't know each other's names. It's all on me.
03. "REMEMBERING"
There used to be a spark in those eyes, a beautiful smile in between those pretty lips and a warm embrace in her tone for me.
Told me that we can't be in contact anymore but I can't seem to stay away from what I like, saw her today and I had to contain my desire because there wasn't any signs of the girl that I used to hold in my arms, everything changed.
Everytime I see her, I recall the warmth of her hug, the softness of her face pressed against my face and that clean scent in her clothes, I recall the smiles and the laughter that I used to give her but now I realise that we were just making memories out of stolen moments.
There used to be a spark in those eyes, now I don't see it, she used to give me a beautiful smile in between those pretty lips but now she gives no fuck and that warm embrace in her tone isn't there anymore.
04. "MR. FIXER"
We had our moment, it was good while it lasted, when we went seperate ways, I was struggling with abandonment issues and attachment issues, I didn't wanna see us going separate ways.
Time and time again, I done tried to rebuild burnt bridges, showed my desperation more than I should've but now I've gotta accept that we had our moment, it was good while it lasted.
Everytime things break, I'm always the one trying to be Mr. Fixer but now I'm walking away from everything that's from the past, every bridge that's fallen down wasn't meant to be a part of my path, I understand that now.
We were happy together, did a lot of fun shit and received good feelings from it, now we're here, our moment wasn't meant for a lifetime and it was good while it lasted.