"Saif, what are you talking about?" Isaac worriedly says. Saif already knew this would have been his reaction to this, that's why he didn't want to tell anyone, even though he has been having these hallucinations for a while. Right after her death. Saif takes a deep breath and lets out a deep sigh as he says, "Yeah, I have been having hallucinations of her. I hear the footsteps of her bare feet flapping around on the ground, and when I look, I only see her for a moment before she disappears in a corner or a crowd or a room... . It's awful." Isaac, fear now off his face and what's there now is concern and sympathy. "Saif, I am sorry. I-I know that her death affected you the most. After all, she was... ." He cuts himself off before he continues, "And how she died... ." He again cuts himself off. He doesn't know what to say, or how to say any of it.
Saif, pain still aching in his heart, still doesn't want Isaac to be so worried about him, says,
"Listen man, I am not fine yet. I know that. After all, she literally died right before we escaped." They both stand there in silence after that, both not knowing what to say next. Isaac, now trying to make him feel better says, "Remember, you help us survive, we lost many, but at least we were able to get out." Saif looks at him with a dead expression then says, "That's not what you say in this situation Isaac." Isaac didn't have time to react to what Saif just said, and only
surprise was seen on his face before Saif continued, "What? You still going with the script you wrote? The script that would 'Make me feel better.'" Isaac, taken aback by how harsh that was, slightly moves back and starts to stutter, not knowing how to salvage this. Saif slowly puts his hand on his forehead and lets out another deep sigh and says, "I am sorry man. I know you were just trying to make me feel better, but because what you said wasn't okay. (Pause) You should also remember, that not because some of us survived then that means we did something
grand or something. (Quick pause) It also means that some of us still died. End of question."
Saif's hand then digs deeper into his forehead, like he is using it to get any type of answer. Isaac, now is less tense, but still disappointed in himself for trying so hard and accidently saying something so insensitive. Saif then breaks the silence again and says, "I just don't know why I am hallucinating her. Why her? Why her specifically like this, leaving me? (Quick pause) Shouldn't I see the others too? Other things as well? Why her leaving and getting away from me?" Isaac, feeling like there is a slight opening for him to say something, hesitates for a second, but quickly collects himself before he says, "Saif, you loved her and she loved you. You two would have gotten married officially when we got out. Of course you would hallucinate of her." Saif then shoots back a reply with just pure frustration back at Isaac, but it was less towards Isaac and more to himself, "Yes, but why is she leaving?! Why is it when I run after her, I could never catch up!? Why is it when I call out for her till my throat bleeds she doesn't even flinch, let alone look back at mee!!?" Saif turns his head towards Isaac and quickly calms himself when he sees the look on Isaac's, and how surprised and speechless he was. And most importantly, unbelievablely worried.
Saif then sighs a sigh of defeat and looks around for anything to sit down on and can't find any, so he just sits on the floor in frustration for not finding a seat, holding his head in the middle of the hall floor. Isaac slowly follows him down and rubs his hand on his back, trying to comfort Saif. Saif, now on the brink of tears says, "Why couldn't she have just left once and that's it? Why do I have to keep reliving her leaving me again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again..." While Saif is still repeating himself, Isaac tries to step in and says, "Saif, I think I got it now-..." Saif yells back at him, "NO YOU
DON'T!" Isaac flinches back and Saif realises the kind of outburst he just let out and apologizes to Isaac sheepishly due to the scale of what he has done. "It's alright man. It's alright." Isaac reassures him. Isaac then tries to use a technique Saif once taught him with comforting people. "Hey, look at the bright side, at least it's just her you are hallucinating, not everything else." He says. Saif, his head still down says in a totally defeated voice saying, "Do you think the reason I don't hallucinate the others too is because I didn't care about them?"
Isaac, taken off guard by this quick and kind of off-topic reply, quickly replies back and says, "No no no, don't put it like that! It's not like you are choosing what to hallucinate, you know." He pauses for a moment, and he calms down and says to Saif, "After all, you were always one of the most affected whenever someone died." Saif, after just a beat then says, "And that's why a death like hers would have been the one that affected me the most. Don't you think I already know where you are going with this?" Isaac, seeing how pessimistic he is being shot back, "And what if it was the one that affected you the most? You loved her Saif, you can't forget that. She meant everything to you, so feeling hurt about her death the most more than the others is just natural." Saif again, replying back quickly with his dead voice, like he was just waiting for Isaac to finish talking, to give him a piece of the chaos of his mind again says, "And what if you died and I didn't hallucinate of you, huh?" Isaac, first taken aback, then his face curls together from anger and frustration and says, "Don't give me that bullshit of trying to make it about me being the one who is 'Forgotten by you' or 'Not affected by his death' to make your point! There is no point Saif!"
Isaac's face slowly uncurled as he calmed down again and his breathing slowed down and said, "I am sorry Saif. I am sorry I can't help you with this one." This time, Saif doesn't reply quickly. This time, he puts his hand on Isaac's shoulder as he pulls his head up again and says, "Don't blame yourself Isaac. Blame Purgatory for fucking us up like this." They both then looked at each other, then embraced each other for a moment. Was it to comfort each other, or to comfort themselves. They both didn't know. Isaac didn't know how to help Saif, and Saif doesn't know how to make Isaac stop worrying so much. They both sit there, letting the hug mask the internal chaos for a moment, so that they don't go insane. After a long while, and after they noticed people staring, they let go of each other and got up to meet up back with everyone before they looked for them.