It was my thirteenth birthday when my parents started to tell me, "Finally you are a grown up". But I felt a sudden goosebump. As if something would go wrong. I was totally frustrated. 2022 was the year when finally school reopened and I was in 9th grade. I literally cried seeing those big, fat, voluminous books. My father and my mother were laughing at my foolishness. The first day in 9th grade I understood that a bridge started to form between me and my best friends. But still I wanted to be friends with them. The competitive behaviour increased between us making me feel slightly lonely.
Then, It was my 10th grade which was one of the most important times to be serious. I studied hard to get good marks. But, I got 64% in the Half-yearly exam and then around 50% in the Pre-boards. My confidence eventually decreased. Still I studied and solved many test papers to get 88% in the 10th board exam which was much lower than my friends. Somehow in class 11, I understood that I was becoming invisible in their group day by day. I was feeling like just an extra in the group. Whenever they are in need of any notes, they remembered me and asked me to send them those notes. But when I needed them the most, they were nowhere to be found. They ignored me and treated me like garbage. In my 11th grade, I used to go to the same tuition class with Srijana with her other tuition friend, Prisha. They were always used to sticking around with each other leaving me behind. I always felt like me being a fourth person in that group, only needed when they required me. I always felt like I am becoming too dependent on them creating a shell around myself and I wanted to break or rebel out from it. After many days of watching their behaviours, one day I made the final decision of ignoring them too. And I did. We became more distant.
I made new friends. I made my own friends, laughed with them, shared tiffins with them, and helped each other in studies. Now, I watched their faces only to see they have forgotten me very well. They got a replacement of mine.
My marks in 11th grade drastically degraded and made me lose my confidence further which also became reason of stress, tension and anxiety for my future. However, the new topper or the transferred student to our school, whose name is Manyata, still held her position like she did in 10th grade getting 98%. This made me realise that I was and am not something special but average like anybody else. No matter how much I tried I was unable to make it up to the mark. The confidence of teachers or their belief that I will be able to score good marks, diminished. Parents started scolding me for getting bad marks. So, I started to study late at night continuing my study. Thus, degrading my health. Now, after all this again, I am getting scolded by my parents for breaking the sleep cycle. I am a type of person who tries to remain calm in every serious situation. Thus, even if I am tensed, I cannot express that. I really hate it when anyone says," You are so calm. You should be sad for what you got ". If only they could see through my heart, then they would have understood. I just cannot stand anyone now. In the end, my frustrations explode over my parents. They also become unhappy with me. I know the fact that whatever they did, do or will do that will be only for my benefit. But I can't stop thinking about it. Now, I wish to go back to those childhood days when society was not so toxic in my eyes. Childhood used to be magical. Wishing myself good luck for the 12th board exam, I am ending the story here.....
End of the main-story 'A Teenager's short-story'