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"I'm Chris, and I'll be working with this party from today. I'm a thief. Well, everyone knows that, right?"
The next day. Since we couldn't reveal that Lady Eris had descended, we decided to have her join our party as Chris. That meant a welcoming party was a must. By the way, the explanation to Aqua was...
"I am also the chief god of this world, so I cannot be by your side most of the time. Instead, I will give you some useful information, Kazuma. Add the thief girl to your party. She will bring prosperity to your party."
But Chris had brought along some bottles of high-quality alcohol...
"Ellis is useful sometimes! Hey Chris, you'll join our party starting today! It'll be fine! Kazuma will sort it out no matter what! And at our parties, alcohol is a shared property!"
Aqua suddenly became proactive and things progressed smoothly like this. Seriously, I wonder if Lady Eris is used to dealing with Aqua, or if this lazy goddess is just easy to handle, but I never expected it to be this disappointing...
"I've asked you out a few times before, so this is quite a sudden change of heart..."
"I'm a thief, after all. Acting in a party isn't really my specialty. But right now I want to receive the hero's blessing!"
"You're such a greedy guy... But still, I welcome you. Nice to meet you again, Chris."
"Yeah!"
Darkness seemed a little hesitant, but there was no way she wouldn't welcome an old friend. Her expression looked very happy.
"I don't have any objections to increasing the number of people in the party. But is that okay? New recruits are forced to participate in the Explosive Walk!"
"Yes, Megumin-senpai. I'm looking forward to seeing the explosion magic that brought down the Demon King's castle."
"Well, look forward to it. A blow from the world's strongest arch wizard. Only this party will be able to see it!"
By the way, I knew that Megumin wouldn't object either. She's a caring girl, so I think she'd be happy to accept anyone other than Yunyun. I'm honestly grateful that there are now more people I can ask to go on explosive walks.
"This party is under the protection of Lady Aqua. As of today, Chris will also be converting to the Axis religion, okay?"
"That's a lie, right Darkness?! Darkness is a follower of the Eris religion, right?!"
"Don't worry. Aqua is a real goddess, but she won't force anyone to join. In fact, no one in this party has joined yet."
"Hey Darkness! You betrayed me, didn't you?!"
Don't try to make her convert by lying. But is it possible to convert Lady Eris to the Axis Church? I wonder if the Axis group will join before the Eris Church... I'd really like to join forces with them...
"And so, starting today, Chris has joined our party. I don't want my party members to sleep in the stables, so I'm thinking of preparing a room for Chris in the mansion. Any objections?"
"You can live in the room next to mine. You might be worried about living next to Kazuma's room, right? He's the villain who stole Chris' underwear so many times."
"Hey, stop it. I was supposed to be a hero, but it's all your fault that I'm still being treated like trash!
"Isn't it Kazuma's own fault for treating you like that? How dare you call someone crazy?"
Yeah. I'm sure it's probably because of these guys that I'm astronomically unpopular. Because it's mostly these guys who give me a weird image!
"Look, the fizz has arrived. Are you going to have a welcome party? Shall we talk about that next time?"
"That's right" "That's right"
I never thought this useless goddess would be able to sort things out, even if it was because of alcohol. Today is certainly a memorable day. Let's stop this pointless argument and welcome this goddess.
"Okay, to celebrate Chris joining the party..."
"""cheers!"""
.....................
After the alcohol kicked in, Aqua would perform her usual party trick and throw up, then in my drunken state I would steal Chris's pants, even though I had no recollection of trying to get them, and the women at the bar would call me scum until I left. It seems like this routine won't change even after becoming a hero. By the way, my pants get stolen every time, so is Lady Eris really the goddess of luck?
"Hey, assistant. Can I come in?"
"Yes, the lock is open."
Just as I was thinking about going to bed, Chris came to visit. She closed the door and locked it, then transformed into a goddess and walked slowly towards me. I wonder what's going on. That disguise ability...
"Kazuma-san, I'll be in your care from today onwards. It would cause a commotion if the goddess was in town, so from now on I'll be joining parties as Chris. But if it's just the two of us, Eris would be fine, right?"
"That's true. Eris-sama is very famous, so I think that would be better to avoid confusion."
Besides, as a man, I'm happy that she's special only in front of me.
"Later on... when it's just the two of us. Can you call me Eris?"
Eh, what's this? For some reason, a mysterious request event has occurred. I don't have any problems with it, or rather, it's just a reward...
"Is that okay? Eris-sama is a real goddess after all..."
"Aqua-senpai is also the real deal..."
Aqua is different. Rather than feeling any respect for her, I find her annoying. I can't recognize her as a goddess.
"And..."
"And?"
"I'm also a potential bride, you know?"
Ah, so this is a goddess... I guess this is what they mean when they say she is a being above angels. Well, it's just a perk, so I don't have to marry her or anything. But even so, isn't it fine if you just enjoy that kind of situation? In fact, if she really falls in love with you, then everything will be solved!
"Ellis" (cool voice)
"Yay!"
I got carried away and whispered Eris's name into her ear. What a cute response this goddess gave me... I want to marry her. However, I must avoid marrying her because of the gods' wishes. If that happens...
"I-Irrespective of the gods' intentions, if Eris truly falls in love with me, then please marry me! I know it's pathetic to act so arrogant, but I really do love Lady Eris!"
With the utmost of my reason, I managed to suppress my heart's desire to give in and somehow managed to squeeze out the words. No, I wanted to marry her no matter what, but that would be a shame for Lady Eris. Because she is the one I love, I want her to be happy too. Having witnessed a political marriage, I don't want to end up like that.
"Is that something to look forward to?"
"I'm the man who defeated the Demon King, you know? I'll prove it's a lie that I'm astronomically not popular!"
It's probably just a flag, but even if I try to act cool a little, I won't get punished. The person who will punish me is right in front of me. There's nothing to be scared of anymore. Well, I'm scared of being disliked, but...
"Well then, let's show us your good points right away, okay?"
"Eh? Right away... Eris-sama?!"
After hearing my decision, Lady Eris collapsed onto my bed. She looked so defenseless, it made the beast inside me want to emerge.
"I don't have a bed in my room yet. Ah, Kazuma's bed is really high quality."
"Well, now that you mention it, that's true..."
Paying no attention to my suffering, Eris buried her face in my pillow and enjoyed the softness of the bed. So, which way is it? Is it the adult staircase? Or should I give up the bed and sit on the living room sofa?!
"I get it, Eris. If you're that serious about me, then I feel the same way..." (cool voice)
However, rather than embarrass a girl who has made up her mind, I would gladly be humiliated myself. That's right, this is the big gamble that will determine whether I climb the ladder to adulthood or fall off...
"Speech..."
"...Right."
Well, I figured this was going to happen anyway. "You idiot! I'm going to sleep in the living room now!" I thought, feeling a bit annoyed, as I put my hand on the doorknob, but then stopped myself.
"Ah, the key..."
Come to think of it, Eris locked the door earlier. If I were to leave, I would obviously need to unlock it. However, there's no guarantee that Darkness or Megumin won't discover Eris in her true form...
"Ugh, this is unavoidable. It's a bit chilly today, and Eris is wearing too little clothing. It'll be terrible if she catches a cold..."
Without saying anything to anyone, I made up an unseemly excuse and went to sleep next to Eris. Then, I gently covered her with a blanket. One blanket was too small for two people to sleep under, so our bodies inevitably ended up pressed together. But, there was no other way. There was no other way to avoid causing any confusion. I'm sure Eris would forgive me!
"Well then, goodnight."
Facing the sleeping Eris, or rather, facing myself, I spoke words that were like a declaration of determination. Yes, I was about to go to sleep. I would not do anything naughty, but would simply be honest and stay next to Eris...
______________________________________
"Hey, Kazuma..."
"What?! What is it?"
How long had it been since we'd been sleeping next to each other? When Eris, pressed against me, suddenly called out to me, I let out a strange voice. Being so close to such a beautiful woman made me incredibly nervous. In fact, I felt like praising myself for even being able to reply.
"You stole my underwear at the bar earlier, didn't you?"
"S-sorry. That wasn't aimed at any particular target, was it? It was just a coincidence!"
Ellis suddenly asked me a question that made me panic. I never thought that Ellis (Chris) would be the target. But even so, why now...
"So I haven't put it on yet..."
"Huh?!"
Eris' sudden and bold confession left me in a panic. Was the goddess really that bold and approaching me?! Was I really that much of a sinner?!
"Would you like to confirm?"
"With pleasure."
But I'm not a wimp, and I'm not an insensitive protagonist. But if I panicked now, I'd be completely exposed as a virgin. As coolly as possible, I lifted the blanket over Eris, and elegantly pinched her skirt. It's okay, calm down. I'm just taking the next step towards adulthood. A turning point in my life had simply come at this exact moment.
"Is that okay?"
"…yes"
After getting Eris's permission, I slowly lifted up my skirt. Ah, I'm climbing the stairs to adulthood with the goddess...
______________________________________
Squeak squeak.
Facing such a scene, I woke up to the morning sunlight and the chirping of birds. Eris next to me hadn't even had her clothes messed up, and I could tell she had had a good night's sleep.
"Is this just a dream...?"
Apparently, if the real thing is right in front of you, the dreams you have become more realistic. But even so, what am I asking of the Goddess? This makes me a complete heretic. For now, I'll get up and wash my face first. And, if I have to, I'll write a letter of apology and submit it to Eris...quickly.
"Seriously..."
When I twisted my body to get up from the bed, Eris clung to my right arm, hindering my movement. Her face was close. She was soft in many ways. I would rather praise her for conquering the wolf. But if I let my guard down now, I'd be the same as always. I'd be called a pervert, reduced to a rag, and tried for a crime I didn't commit. And if I didn't get away quickly, Kazuma (young) wouldn't be able to return to normal mode. This would also count as a crime.
"Elise-sama, if you were to see the two of us coming out of the bedroom, I would instantly change from a hero to a global heretic."
"Hmm... Kazuma... Good morning..."
Eris seems to be still half asleep. Even her sleepy face is cute. Is a goddess really this perfect? Is Aqua really a goddess?
"Kazmar, you're on breakfast duty today, right? Get up early."
Damn it! You defective goddess! You're interrupting my moment of relaxation as I gaze upon Eris! Why did you have to get up early today?!
"I'm already awake! I'll be right there, so wait for me."
"Please hurry up. Chris hasn't replied since this morning, do you know anything?"
But no matter what, Aqua is a good carer, isn't she? Did she really care about Chris? If that's why she woke up early, then I respect you as a goddess.
"Ah! What should we do about this? If they find out I'm here now, it'll create an awkward atmosphere at Kazuma's party! Chris won't be welcome!"
Yeah, if that's what you think, then you shouldn't be so mysteriously assertive at night.
"K-Kazuma, please use your quick thinking to do something about it! I'll do anything I can!"
"Did I just say I'd do anything?"
"Please, to the extent possible..."
While blaming myself for almost succumbing to my desires, I searched for a solution. Okay, let's go with this. For someone like me who defeated the Demon King with just cunning, this isn't a crisis or anything.
"Chris just came to my room to get his pants back, so he's here. I've already beaten him up though!"
"I see... Kyaaa! Aqua-san, help me! After your pants, it's your most important thing!"
"You idiot! I didn't say that!"
She quickly transformed into Chris and responded in this way. As expected of the goddess Eris. She's completely different from the perceptive Aqua...
"God Blow!!"
Thud!
"Bufufu!"
Aqua's God Blow was aimed at me, who was standing in front of the door. I didn't expect her to hit me with the door! The door hit my body cleanly!
"Hey Kazuma! You have some nerve bullying my goddess of luck and wine, don't you?"
Oops, you got the first part right! I don't think that's the case!
"Now Chris, leave our party! I'm going to use Kazuma's fortune to buy up the rights to all the breweries in the country!"
"What is this meaningless anger?!"
However, it seems that she does recognize Chris as a friend. Aqua really is a good person at heart.
"Assistant! If you really lay a hand on my body, you will be held responsible! I'll take half of your assets!"
"That would be a problem! It would cut the amount of money I could spend in half! Kazuma! That's absolutely not okay!"
Even so, there's something off about the criticisms of these two. I'm not sure if it's because the goddess's common sense is strange, or if it's just her personality, but it seems like only eccentric people join my party. But even so, I'm full of hope. Because this new member isn't a bad choice. That alone makes me really excited.