Chapter 139: Snape's Helplessness
"Ron, tell me more about what happened at the bottom of the lake?" Lavender Brown asked with a grin in a corner of the Gryffindor common room.
"We went to Professor McGonagall's office and were hypnotized by Professor Dumbledore. He assured us that there was absolutely no danger and that we would wake up as soon as we came out of the water…" Ron said, not choosing the version that had been exaggerated by Dumbledore.
"But I want to hear your version of what you told Padma, you know, the one where you fought the fully armed mermaids with your bare hands—" Lavender said enthusiastically.
"They all say I'm exaggerating," Ron said quietly, touching his nose.
"How could that be?" Lavender's eyes widened dramatically. "I really like this version! It's much more interesting than being hypnotized by magic!"
"Alright," Ron coughed dramatically, "the merfolk will first force me to submit before they can tie me up—"
"Oh, how terrible!" Lavender said in a gleeful voice. "They must be in great danger."
"It's alright, I've hidden my wand in my sleeve," Ron suddenly smiled—puffing out his chest—and assured Lavender, "I can subdue those mermaid fools if I want to…"
Normally, at this point, Ginny Weasley would jump in and mercilessly expose her boastful brother; but today she let Ron off the hook because she had something more important to do—she was pressing Hermione for details about how Professor McGonagall caught the young couple being intimate in the Transfiguration classroom.
"Merlin's garter belt, this must be the most terrifying hellhole in all of Hogwarts!" she exclaimed, nervously clutching her hair.
"How embarrassing! We left there as fast as we could, like wanted criminals caught by the police." Hermione lay stiffly on the sofa in the Gryffindor common room, covering her flushed, steaming face with a Gryffindor-patterned scarf.
"Hermione, what are police? And what are wanted criminals?" Ginny asked curiously.
"Probably similar to Aurors and Death Eaters?" Hermione's voice came lazily from under her scarf.
"Now I understand—it's a truly terrifying metaphor." Ginny was still shaken. "Personally, I sincerely hope I never have to experience anything like this in my life. Hermione, you really need to be more careful. You got lucky this time, but what about next time? Think about Professor Snape. If he saw you two, he might poison you both if he was in a bad mood…"
At this moment, Severus Snape was indeed not happy—his mood could even be described as "extremely bad."
He had a string of bad luck at the start of the new school year. Mad-Eye Moody buzzed around him like a fly, as if he suspected the Dark Lord was hiding in his office.
Later, he began to frequently lose potion ingredients.
African tree snakeskin! This is his prized possession, his private collection, which you can't even buy in Diagon Alley!
And a two-horned beast horn! Does that damned thief know how hard it was for him to collect these things? Severus gritted his teeth—it must be Potter, he's up to his old tricks again. That boy is as shameless as ever, no matter how many times he's nagged in Potions class, he just acts like it's none of his business!
Embarrassingly, he later discovered that the incident had nothing to do with Potter, the troublemaker, yet Potter had grown to hate him even more after his scolding—a truly remarkable relief. Yes, a relief!
Let Potter hate him, hate him to the very end!
It's better than having Potter smile at him with that cursed face that looks like James Potter! In the faculty lounge, Snape thought with a tense expression, trying to make himself some hot tea.
In just a few seconds, before he had even finished preparing Porter mentally, Minerva McGonagall suddenly stormed into the faculty lounge with a stack of lesson plans and berated him, accusing him of failing to "discipline his students."
"I don't think there's anything wrong with him. While he's not exactly a top student, his grades in all his courses are decent." Severus rubbed his temples, which were still ringing from Minerva's loud voice, and slammed his scalding teacup on the table. He burned the back of his hand with the splashed tea, but pretended to be nonchalant and continued to face Minerva's raging anger.
Professor Pomona Sprout, who was watching the scene unfold, couldn't help but twitch her lips.
Not exactly top-tier talent? And while his grades are respectable? Please, he's at the top of his grade!
She had never met anyone more demanding than Severus Snape! Or rather, more boastful!
Minerva wasn't buying Severus's argument. Her eyes widened, and she shouted even louder, "Not everything is judged by grades! You must strengthen the moral and ethical development of your students! Severus, I've told you this before..."
These long, tired old tunes! They drifted in through Severus's left ear and, predictably, floated out through his right.
"Enough! Just say it, Minerva, what exactly do you want me to do?" Severus asked expressionlessly after a quarter of an hour, snapping out of his reverie about some unsolved potion problems.
"In short, you must speak with Draco Malfoy!" Minerva McGonagall declared definitively.
These silly kids—can't they just give him a break? The Headmaster of Slytherin, who had always adopted a policy of "ignoring" the rumors about Draco and Hermione, was no longer in the mood for tea. He had to shoulder the special task assigned to him by Professor McGonagall: to have a serious office talk with Draco.
"Professor McGonagall wants me to talk to you about how to respect the classroom, such a sacred place of learning." The Slytherin king of Slytherin repeated Professor McGonagall's words with a dark expression, accompanied by a scrutinizing look. "I'm even a little curious about what kind of blasphemy you did to her classroom to provoke her such a wrath."
"I'm sorry, Professor, I promise I won't do it again." Draco quickly stated, deciding to remain silent about what Professor Snape was curious about.
He is still grateful for one thing—Professor McGonagall actually forgot to deduct points from their scores.
Given her deeply offended expression at the time, it wouldn't be impossible for her to lose fifty points.
The next day, the whole of Hogwarts would be buzzing with the news—Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger would both lose fifty points for kissing in the Transfiguration classroom.
The Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs will love them—and maybe even create more opportunities for them to kiss.
As Draco thought this, a slight smile appeared on his lips.
"So, tell me, what's going on between you and Granger? Don't tell me you like that know-it-all who wants to answer every single question I ask." Severus glanced at the daydreaming, foolish boy and emphasized, "When did a Malfoy's taste become so peculiar?"
He had long advised Draco to stay away from Potter and his friends, and to distance himself from all this trouble.
Unfortunately, the more you try to persuade him, the less he listens.
The boy always acted all respectful towards him—accepting all his teachings—but then turned around and started hanging out with Potter and his gang again.
He was starting to get a headache.
"I do like her. She's the best girl in my eyes," Draco replied calmly and clearly.
"I'm almost moved to tears by your cheesy sentimentality," Severus said with a displeased expression, mercilessly mocking his beloved disciple.
"I am equally touched by your excessive concern for my private life," Draco said calmly.
Severus glared fiercely at the arrogant youth before him. But the youth calmly returned his gaze, his eyes gentle, showing no sign of panic, fear, or arrogance.
Why is Draco so calm?
Or rather, how could any teenager maintain such a calm expression under his glare?
For a moment, Severus had a existential question: Had his ability to glare at people deteriorated?
"Perhaps I should call her over myself and ask her what kind of potion she gave you that had such a terrible effect on you?" There was a hint of threat in his tone. He narrowed his eyes, scrutinizing Draco's expression. "Or perhaps I should put her in solitary confinement a few times and let her reflect on her actions?"
"No need for all that trouble. All the responsibility lies with me, it has nothing to do with her. It was me who relentlessly pursued her. If you want to punish someone, just punish me directly. I can't do anything except 'make me give up liking her,'" Draco said without batting an eye, seeing the "disappointed" look on his headmaster's face.
He smiled leisurely, a hint of cunning in his expression. "However, I must inform you of something. Several boys from other departments are paying excessive attention to her; their behavior is truly disruptive! If you're really short-handed for your potion-brewing work and absolutely need to find people to do voluntary labor in confinement, I can give you a list. You can punish them one by one, giving those idle individuals something to do—"
"You idiot, don't joke with me like that! You don't understand what I mean at all!" Severus's face was no longer pale, but as black as the bottom of a pot.
He finally understood that the Malfoy boy had no idea how serious the situation was!
"Draco, a wise Slytherin shouldn't get too close to the Gryffindors. You should keep your distance from them," he said. "No matter who it is, you shouldn't—"
"You're the one who said those words, yet you tacitly gave me the gill sac grass." Draco stared intently at one spot on the shelf displaying potion ingredients. "Is this your so-called 'keeping your distance'—this subtle concern for Harry?"
Severus sighed deeply.
After a pause, he said in a cold tone, "We are talking about Miss Granger, don't change the subject. To have feelings for a Gryffindor is playing with fire—sooner or later you will get burned. Before choosing any path, you should consider what it will look like at the end, instead of foolishly busy admiring the scenery along the way."
These words sounded much more sincere than the previous harsh preamble.
"I can only say that I'm not the first Slytherin boy to have feelings for a Gryffindor girl," Draco said pointedly, looking directly at his headmaster's expressionless face. "Not every path leads to success, just as not every dreaming Slytherin gets the ending they want, and I'm prepared for that. But I hope that when I walk this path, I can gain the recognition and support of a Slytherin, not their contempt."
"Recognition and support are things you have to earn yourself, not things you have to beg for," Severus said menacingly, looking away.
"I'm working hard right now," Draco said calmly.
"This kind of verbal persuasion is utterly absurd! What makes you think I would support you—it's more ridiculous than sending a wizard to fight an eight-eyed giant spider with his bare hands—do you expect me to send Lucius into my office and blow all my potion ingredients to smithereens?" Severus laughed twistedly, amused by his own ridiculous naiveté.
He took a stack of letters from his desk drawer and threw them onto the desk in front of him. "Even if nothing happens to you at school, your overly concerned parents will secretly write to me and ask about your situation every now and then!"
He threw the letters with great force; several letters flew out of the desk's reach and slowly landed on the floor.
"Oh? They did something like that?" Draco bent down to pick up the pristine white envelopes and smiled slightly.
"I have to spend a lot of my precious time replying to them! Your father is tentatively inquiring about your studies, and your mother is nagging about your health!" Severus's lips twitched, showing his impatience with the letters. "Your father has even started asking me about your friendships, wanting to see if you've made any 'useful' friends!"
"Can you imagine how your father will react when he finds out about all the ridiculous things you've been doing lately? How long can I keep this up for you?" he coldly questioned the boy who was looking down at the letter.
"Everyone talks about my father, but no one ever asks me what I want. It's as if I can only live within the framework my father has laid out for me—" Draco put away the letters, just as his smile faded at this moment.
He asked softly, "But is this framework necessarily correct?"
"Draco, what you're saying is quite disrespectful—your parents gave you a comfortable life and a noble birth, and they have high expectations for you. Are the honor of the Malfoy family, the opinions of your friends, and your future prospects all worthless?"
Draco moved his lips, looked at him, but didn't say anything.
"These are things that others would spend their entire lives seeking but could not obtain, and you obtained them so easily. You did not cherish them, but carelessly tossed them aside? Just like that, a girl squeezed them out of your monstrous brain?" The Slytherin Headmaster, who had seen the vicissitudes of life, said sarcastically—a complex expression on his face—continuously mocking Draco, "Utterly foolish, naive and shallow! I see no reason to support you anymore."
Draco sighed—he understood what Professor Snape meant.
In his previous life, he also took his parents' expectations and the glory of the Malfoy family as the highest belief in his life.
He once believed without a doubt that his parents loved him and provided him with the best life, and that he should not let them down.
But as it turned out, the path the father insisted on was completely wrong, and the old ideas of pure-blood ideology that the Malfoy family held onto were meaningless.
He didn't want to make any more mistakes.
But he couldn't tell Professor Snape all this, otherwise he would expose his biggest secret.
Some secrets are best left unsaid. Reborn, Draco was extremely cautious. He didn't want to make any wrong moves, much less a future with endless troubles.
With a deep sigh, Draco decided to try to gain Professor Snape's support from a perspective he could understand.
"You need a reason to support me, don't you? I think, I'm afraid no one in all of Slytherin knows how I feel better than you." Draco looked into Professor Snape's dark eyes—where a hint of emotion and pain seemed to flash—and decided to be bold like Hermione, speaking bluntly, "Is this the first time a Slytherin snake has fallen in love with a Gryffindor lion?"
"What are you trying to say? What do you know?" Snape's eyes remained cold, but a subtle change appeared on his face.
"I know nothing. I only remember that in the first Potions class, you asked Harry, 'What would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?'" The young man's soft voice was as cruel as spring rain disturbing a hibernating snake, each drop falling on the ear of the man with pained eyes. "Not long ago, I was studying a book—the Victorian Dictionary of Flower Language. The dictionary said that 'asphodel' is not actually a daffodil, but a sunflower. It's a lily that resembles a daffodil, and its flower language is 'My regret follows you to your grave'; as for wormwood, it means 'absence' and 'bitter sorrow'."
"May Merlin bless Pansy," Draco thought. Her recommendation of the *Victorian Dictionary of Flower Language* proved helpful.
While consulting the dictionary, he seemed to understand Professor Snape's coded message and also seemed to grasp a trace of the regret he still felt to this day.
Professor Snape's face twitched in surprise.
"What are you implying?" he asked Draco, his voice like the slithering tongue of a sinister snake.
"This is not an implication, but a fact," Draco said calmly.
"That was just a coincidence—a coincidence!" A subtle hint of annoyance crept into his voice. "It proves nothing!"
"A coincidence? Just a heartbreaking coincidence? Do you dare say you feel no remorse whatsoever?" For some reason, this usually humble and respectful Slytherin boy suddenly became bold, asking in a defiant tone, seemingly attempting to overestimate his abilities and challenge the Serpent King's bottom line.
"You're incredibly rude, Draco Malfoy!" Severus glared at his favorite student with rage, his dark eyes blazing with barely suppressed fury. "Ten days of solitary confinement—if you utter another word about it!"
Draco shut his mouth.
After a long silence, he looked directly into those dark eyes—eyes that were constantly shifting in emotion, filled with anger and etched with pain—and softened his tone, saying softly, "Professor, if I have offended you, I apologize. I have no intention of delving into your past; I only wish to grasp my present—nothing more."
Severus glared at him with a sinister, malevolent gaze—Draco ignored his countless attempts to avoid that gaze, suppressing his nervousness as he met his eyes—until the serpent king suddenly felt a sense of dejection.
Draco is a stubborn kid that's a real headache.
He had tried to scare the child away with sharp words and a bleak reality, but the child remained unmoved.
He looked at the boy in front of him with a mixture of anger and annoyance. The boy's eyes were filled with fervor and hope, just like the eyes he had seen in his own reflection in the mirror many years ago.
How similar! To win over a Muggle-born Gryffindor girl, a Slytherin boy foolishly exerts all his strength to seize every sliver of hope that might help him, to grasp every seemingly plausible possibility.
Foolish, desperate, like a moth drawn to a flame, he desperately tried to grasp her.
At that time, his blood was far from cold.
Merlin!
History always repeats itself, and yet another Slytherin's love has been cursed.
Severus looked helplessly at the stubborn boy, seemingly able to foresee their tragic ending.
However, staring at the emotions in the boy's eyes, he suddenly lost his stance of mocking Draco—every word he uttered seemed to be a mockery of his younger self.
"You—you were very unwise. You shouldn't have jumped into the Black Lake, and you certainly shouldn't have exposed your weaknesses and vulnerabilities to everyone." He suddenly said out of the blue.
"Yes, I know. But I can't just leave her alone," Draco replied.
He was very surprised by Professor Snape's words.
What does this mean—has the Slytherin Serpent King decided to be his love advisor?—this suggestion is rather abrupt.
It wasn't that Draco disrespected him. It's just that, was the advice of this middle-aged bachelor who had been single for many years truly sound?
"You've been too influenced by those Gryffindors. You're becoming reckless, arrogant, and always putting yourself in unnecessary danger," Severus hissed, like a snake stirred uneasy by the warmth of March or April.
"There are always risks worth taking. The risk of losing her is what I need to avoid at all costs," Draco said stubbornly. "I can't bear the consequences of not jumping."
"You don't understand! It was Dumbledore himself who suggested the choice of the Warrior Treasure. Do you understand? He's a master at manipulating people's minds; he's been—he's been watching you closely all along," Severus said, frowning.
His slightly haggard face revealed even more helplessness as he tried to advise the unsuspecting boy, "He will exploit your weaknesses and make you work like a slave until you die. And you will do it willingly—he has always done this."
"You seem to be accusing the headmaster of Hogwarts of using women to blackmail people." Draco raised an eyebrow nonchalantly, but his heart sank.
"It wasn't just women, it was love. He used this ethereal thing called 'love' to blackmail anyone he could." Professor Snape's tone sounded urgent.
Now, Draco clearly caught the vulnerable look on his face when he said those words.
At that moment, Draco suddenly realized that perhaps Professor Snape's covert rescue of Harry was a product of being coerced by "love".
They must have made some kind of deal in private, in the name of "love".
What a terrible kind of "love".
But it seemed he had nowhere to escape. He was already too deeply involved.
Merlin seems to have fallen for Hermione.
This was the first time Draco clearly realized that he "loved" her, and not just "liked" her.
Ironically, he realized this in such an awkward setting—while discussing the concept of "being blackmailed by love" with Professor Severus Snape, Hogwarts' most aloof and perpetually bachelor.
"If your feelings for this are just a passing fancy, I have no comment; but if you're serious, this path will not be a smooth, flowery one, but rather full of obstacles and thorns." Severus composed himself, reverting to his usual expressionless Slytherin headmaster. "I can only offer you a small promise—I have no interest in being a stumbling block on your path. But that's not enough, far from enough. You need to be extremely careful not to be manipulated or exploited, and not to be defeated by any opposition around you."
"Thank you. I will be careful." Draco bowed respectfully to Professor Snape and slowly withdrew from the office.
That reminder about Dumbledore was the greatest sincerity Professor Snape could offer. The boy, who had just closed the door, thought to himself that perhaps he was using his own painful experience to warn Draco about a possible future scenario.
The only thing that could comfort Draco was that Hermione loved him at this moment, and not anyone else.
If she falls for someone else, Merlin! He will be even more twisted and desperate than Professor Snape.
Not to mention she had fallen in love with someone else! He couldn't imagine how devastating this would be for him!
If she fell in love with someone else, gave birth to another man's child, and she and that man were killed by the Dark Lord, leaving only a crying, innocent, and hateful baby, would he allow himself to be persuaded and used by the smiling Professor Dumbledore?
What were Severus Snape's feelings when he looked at the child who looked exactly like that man?
As he pondered, Draco suddenly felt a sense of empathy for Professor Snape's awkward behavior.
That might be a complex feeling of resentment, heartache, deep love, and hatred.
Would he hate that child? Draco himself felt suffocated just imagining that possibility.
The child looked exactly like the man who had taken Hermione away, except that his eyes were the warm color of chocolate.
He probably only wants to look into those eyes. He'll hope to see that curious, childlike look in them, just like Hermione's.
When he can't see those eyes clearly, he hates the child, mocks, ridicules, and belittles him... He can't accept that the child's face looks exactly like Krum's.
He might want to smash that kid's face to a pulp anytime, anywhere, so that no one can recognize him.
Merlin! He really is a wicked man. Draco chuckled self-deprecatingly.
At one point, he did consider the possibility of harming an innocent child.
Therefore, Professor Snape's harsh criticisms seem perfectly reasonable.
When he was constantly tormented, he wished that everyone—especially the reason for his torment—would suffer with him.
Draco understood this twisted feeling all too well.
In his past life, for a period of time, he tormented himself and Hermione with the same feelings.
This is by no means upright, rational, gentlemanly, or likable.
So he deserved it back then! He deserved to be hated by Hermione.
In his self-reproach, Draco tries to make a reasonable guess about Professor Snape's behavior patterns.
He might not know what the right thing to do is, and no one has taught him how to like someone.
Or perhaps, he is in dire straits, suffering unbearable pain, and even knowing that his behavior is abhorrent, he cannot control himself; because if he does nothing, he may die from the agony.
Amidst the many speculations, one thing is certain. He might hate the child, but he can't bear to watch a child with Hermione's blood die; the light in those eyes shouldn't be extinguished. So he might secretly save the child.
Time and again, filled with self-loathing and hatred for the child.
Thus, with a touch of empathy, Draco Malfoy seemed to have found a way to understand Severus Snape.
He then fell into deep thought on another level:
What exactly made Professor Snape so angry that he wanted to kill Dumbledore?
He never forgot the murder in the Astronomy Tower.
Even though nearly five years have passed since that incident, the horrific scenes are still vivid in Draco's mind.
Dumbledore even pleaded with Snape, but the latter's face showed deep disgust and hatred, and he shouted "Avada Kedavra" at his benefactor, Dumbledore, who trusted him so much even at the end of his life.
Draco doesn't believe Snape is entirely working for the Dark Lord.
This reason no longer holds true after he learns that Snape is deeply in love with Lily Evans—and after he learns what Professor Snape's Patronus is.
The Dark Lord killed his lover—it's no exaggeration to say that Snape hated the Dark Lord.
So, did Snape's hatred for Dumbledore stem from learning some incredible truth, or discovering that Dumbledore had deceived him on some crucial matter?
What could Dumbledore possibly deceive Professor Snape about?
Aside from teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts and obtaining some rare potion ingredients, Severus Snape had almost no desires.
This potions master lived an ascetic life at Hogwarts, his greatest hobby being to wittily ridicule clumsy students who happened to cross his line, and his greatest career ambition was to obtain a teaching position in Defense Against the Dark Arts.
All of these trivial matters were not enough to cause him any intense emotional fluctuations.
The death of his loved ones because of the Dark Lord had nothing to do with Dumbledore; the only person who could still arouse Professor Snape's anger was probably Harry.
Perhaps it's because Dumbledore is about to do something that he absolutely cannot tolerate, such as harming the child he hates but has to protect?
However, this doesn't make sense. Everyone knows that Harry was seen by Dumbledore as Dumbledore's only hope of defeating the Dark Lord.
Dumbledore valued Harry so much, it doesn't make sense for him to harm Harry; unless Harry harbors some secret powerful enough to destroy the Dark Lord, but it would necessitate some sacrifice from Harry—
How could that be? In his previous life, Harry was always perfectly healthy and lively; he didn't look like he had made any great sacrifice. Draco shook his head, thinking he was probably overthinking it.
The Dark Lord has always wanted to kill Harry. If Dumbledore wanted to harm Harry, wouldn't he be going down the same path as the Dark Lord? They've always been sworn enemies, and Dumbledore would definitely want to protect Harry.
Draco was once again completely baffled. Whenever he thought about this, the clues became a tangled mess.
That's really frustrating.
However, there was one thing he was almost certain of:
Professor Snape's change in attitude toward Professor Dumbledore is a crucial turning point, the most critical link in unraveling the nine-link puzzle of his thinking.
Without clarifying this matter, many issues cannot be discussed, and many questions cannot be answered.
If he doesn't figure this out, a vague unease will linger in his mind, and the storm in his heart will never completely subside.
In any case, today's conversation is a good opportunity to understand Professor Snape's thoughts.
For the first time ever, Professor Snape finally revealed a hint of his dissatisfaction with Professor Dumbledore to Draco.
Previously, he had concealed it well—everyone thought Snape was grateful to Dumbledore for giving him the opportunity.
Draco, however, preferred the complaining Professor Snape, which is only natural.
This gave him a sense of real color, rather than just pitch black.
In fact, Draco himself was furious at Professor Dumbledore's rude behavior.
No Slytherin likes to be schemed against, and Dumbledore's act of making Hermione a hostage to Krum was a direct hit on Draco Malfoy's Achilles' heel.