Izuk stared blankly at his plate, poking at the perfectly cooked curry with his fork, while Chocolate and his mother discussed something animatedly. The conversation between them flowed so freely, it was as if they had known each other all their lives. They laughed, interrupted each other, nodded, gestured animatedly — it felt like he was the odd one out.
Midoriya smiled wearily at the scene. Everything was going even better than he could have imagined. He had never seen his mother so lively, so... happy. It was as if Shokoladka had breathed new life into her. The girl listened to her stories with genuine interest, nodding animatedly, laughing at the right moments, and even asking questions. Of course, Inko devoted most of them to details of Izuku's childhood. The boy flinched at another burst of laughter at the table — apparently, the conversation had turned to how he once tried to feed his teddy bear porridge and then got upset, thinking that the bear was sad because it didn't even take a spoonful. He groaned quietly, covering his face with his hand.
At least now he knew that his feelings of shame and embarrassment were still alive and well.
He used to think that scenes like this were just made up for sitcoms. He thought it was impossible for mothers to seriously tell their daughters who came to visit stories from their sons' childhood hell. But here he was. And he was watching his mother subject him to a marathon of embarrassment. Izuku could only console himself with the fact that his mother wasn't showing her any compromising childhood photos. Some of them were so embarrassing that he seriously considered burning them, just to be on the safe side
Izuku could have continued picking at his plate, but suddenly Chocolate turned to him with a smile. For some reason, Midoriya felt that something bad was about to happen.
" Izuu~ku!" she drawled with such feigned tenderness that a chill ran down his spine. "Is it true that when you were a child, you tried to dye your hair with markers to look like the Almighty?"
Izuku froze, his fork suspended in midair. "Is it true that when you were a child, you tried to dye your hair with markers to look like the Almighty?"
Izuku froze, his fork suspended in midair. He was about to tell her the truth, but he couldn't; the multiple choice made itself known.
"Choose."
With that characteristic command in his head, two selection plates appeared before him. But instead of the usual shameful and eccentric actions, there were some rather... strange options.
[1. The Almighty will choose a successor and begin training him/her.
[2. The Almighty will begin studying teaching lessons before officially becoming a teacher at YUE.]
"What the...?" he muttered barely audibly.
Izuku blinked blankly. This was one of those rare — and strange — occasions when his "multiple choice" began to affect things... beyond his own life. And it concerned the Almighty himself. He felt a wave of excitement rise in his chest. Not fear — not yet — but a heavy foreboding. He knew that when the choice went beyond his everyday life, something... irreversible happened. At least they were harmless... partly harmless. No matter how absurd the choices were, they were strangely logical, always based on the past and present, the course of history. The choices had certain prerequisites that would either be revealed or not. If Izuku didn't understand anything right now, everything would fall into place over time. Just as the consequences that led to the consequences were gradually revealed. The boy wanted to start guessing, but the curse never tolerated delays — a throbbing pain was already growing in his head, like a warning.
"Come on... hurry up..." he exhaled through clenched teeth.
The buttons flashed, urging him to make a choice. He poked the second option almost at random.
[2. The Almighty will begin studying teaching lessons before officially becoming a teacher at UEY.]
And then... everything disappeared. His head cleared. But what was that all about? He looked over at Chocolate, who was finishing her curry as if nothing had happened. As if she had forgotten her question. His mother, noticing the confusion on her son's face, asked him with concern:
"What's wrong, Izuku? Another multiple choice question?"
Midoriya didn't look her in the eye, just nodded humbly and replied listlessly.
"It's nothing serious, it's just that this time the options were really... strange." Which was ironic, because the options themselves always made him do strange things. Which is why he became known as a weirdo at his school. Another reason to think and start analyzing, taking notes, especially the meaning of the word "successor."
Why did his multiple choice give him that particular designation?
Izuku frowned. The options were often silly, absurd, or awkward — like singing the Japanese national anthem loudly during recess, or announcing his fetish to someone in the hallway in front of the entire school. But now — everything was different.
"Successor..." The word rang in his head like a bell.
He had long since gotten used to the fact that his "multiple choice" was not just a curse, but something more. It was as if some puppeteer or invisible force was controlling his life. As if his decisions were part of some absurd game, the script for which was written by someone far above him. And when it turned out to be the work of the gods, he became completely and irrevocably convinced of this. It did not obey the laws of reality... but for some reason always turned out to be connected with it. As if it knew what was going to happen. How many times had his crazy actions led to results that would otherwise have been impossible? Too many to simply dismiss them. And when it turned out that this multiple choice had been created by the gods... there was no other option but to humbly accept it: whatever choice he made could affect the future. How exactly? He didn't even want to think about it.
Shaking his head, trying to dispel unnecessary intrusive thoughts, he did not even notice someone gently but persistently shaking his shoulder. He looked in surprise at Shokoladka, who had removed her hand from his shoulder. She looked at him thoughtfully, then glanced questioningly at his mother.
"Does this happen to him often?" she asked, pointing at Izuku.
"Sometimes, yes. But I don't think it's a bad thing. It's just that my Izuku loves to analyze everything... especially quirks. It's a habit of his — to withdraw into himself like that." With these words, she stood up, walked over to him, and gently stroked her son's head.
"M-Mom!" Izuku flushed, looking away and gently removing her hand. "I'm not a child anymore..."
"Of course," Inko nodded with a gentle smile. "But even so, you're still my little boy."
Chocolate, watching this scene, suddenly beamed.
"What a wonderful family scene. I'm delighted." Then, to Izuku's horror, she added, "It's so nice to watch. Mom Inko, can I pet him too?" she asked in the tone of a diligent student, raising her hand as if asking a question in class.
Inko nodded approvingly.
"Of course. I give you permission. I trust my son to you," she said casually, but Izuku looked at her sharply at her last words. A sudden chill ran down his spine. Why did that sound like a blessing?
Thinking about it, he almost choked on his breath. Izuku stared at his mother with an expression as if she had just signed an agreement for his adoption by aliens. She, however, acted as if nothing had happened, calmly returned to her seat, and took a sip of tea without even looking at him.
Meanwhile, Shokoladka beamed with joy, jumped up from her chair, and approached him as if she were a monarch walking toward the future king at a solemn coronation. She began to stroke his head gently but with incredible seriousness.
"Well done, Izuku. You're so good." Mommy is proud of you," she cooed affectionately, as if he had just passed the entrance exams to Harvard University, found a cure for cancer, and, on top of that, rescued a kitten from a burning house.
"Stop..." he muttered, feeling the heat spreading across his face. "Please... I beg you..."
"Now that I've started petting you, can I call you 'Izu-kun'?" she asked with sudden inspiration. She continued petting him, adding a second hand to stroke his face. "I think it's cute, and it really suits you."
"N-no, it doesn't suit me!" he cried weakly, covering his head with his hands. "It sounds like we're..." After a slight pause, he gathered his courage and said, "dating. But that's not the case."
He glanced at his mother, hoping she had heard him. He wanted to avoid future misunderstandings or awkward situations. He needed to dot all the i's and cross all the t's, destroying any false assumptions before they took root. Inko smiled calmly, gathered all the dishes, and put them in the sink.
"We're not dating, you say?" she asked calmly, without turning away from the sink where she was washing the cups. But there was a certain intonation in her voice, as if she didn't believe him.
"We're not dating," he nodded instantly, ignoring the fact that she was stroking him. "We're just... friends. Nothing more."
"Yeah, yeah. Just friends," his mother nodded, already bringing a clean cup to the dryer. "Then what's this?" She pointed expressively at Chocolate, who was stroking Izuku's hair with one hand and running her thumb over his cheek with the other, as if he were a cuddly kitten.
"It's... not what you think..." Izuku tried to start again, but stopped himself.
"Oh, yes, that notorious phrase again: 'It's not what you think,'" Inko confirmed meaningfully. "You're just friends. Pretty close friends. She wants to call you 'Izu-kun.' She even said she would be there for you, supporting you in everything. When we first met. Just like me and your dad in our younger years... but even we didn't behave like that.
Izu-kun wanted to say something. But Chocolate spoke first.
"I just want to be closer to him!" Chocolate blurted out, completely sincerely. "I have to look after him, support him. That's why emotional contact is necessary here!"
At that moment, Izuku finally gave up. He decided to let the wind carry his spirit away, far away from this place.
"Mm, emotional contact," Inko nodded, squinting. "And physical contact is the next stage, right?"
"Wh-what?!" Izuku exclaimed, as if struck by lightning. His mind went into overload. Somewhere inside him, aboard a ship called "Midoriya's Consciousness," the captain at the helm tried to give orders, shouting into a megaphone:
"ATTENTION ALL DEPARTMENTS! SARCASM FROM MOTHER! I REPEAT — SARCASM FROM MOTHER! QUICKLY TAKE CONTROL!"
Officers rushed around in panic between the instruments, the onboard screen shut down and rebooted, and a flashing scarlet screen appeared in the center of the monitor console with the inscription:
[Confusion — level 97%. ENORMOUS DESIRE TO SMASH INTO THE WALL.]
Meanwhile, in reality:
"M-Mom... please..." he squeezed out, covering his face with his palm, "don't say that."
Inko narrowed her eyes slyly, propping her chin on her hand.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry... But you have no idea how nice it is to see that you have a real girlfriend... and such a sweet one at that." She glanced at Chocolate, who sat smiling, seemingly oblivious to what was happening.
"Um... well... I don't mind physical contact if it strengthens trust..." Chocolate added with a serious face, as if she had no idea what they were talking about.
"There's no need to strengthen anything," Izuku groaned, almost falling off his chair.
Inko couldn't hold back and laughed, putting her hand to her cheek:
"Okay, okay, I won't tease you. But..." She winked. "I'm still happy. I like her. And you trust her, right?"
"... Izuku gave up. He just nodded silently. As if he had admitted defeat in an honest but hopeless battle.
"Great, then hurry up and finish your curry.
Izuku silently picked up his spoon, his eyes like those of a sad old man who realized that his life would never be the same again. He finished his curry and put the plate in the sink. Then he sat down silently in his place. In less than a couple of minutes, the plate had been washed and put on the drying rack. Inko glanced at the clock hanging above the kitchen door with a smile. A shadow of concern flashed in her eyes.
"Oh, it's almost nine o'clock..." she muttered, turning to Chocolate. "Chocolate, dear, isn't it time for you to go home? Your parents are probably worried."
Izuk almost flinched. He looked at Chocolate, who was staring at him intently. Deciding that relying on the girl's thinking... or rather, lack of thinking, was hopeless, he started generating a plausible lie in his head.
"I... um..." Chocolate stammered.
"Her parents are away on business," he blurted out as calmly as possible, and was about to continue, but suddenly he heard a voice.
"Choose."
[1. Ask hopefully: So can she stay the night?]
[2. Say sensually: So can she stay the night with me?]
Izuk stared at the choices with a sad, almost doomed smile, knowing full well how they would sound — especially in front of his mother. He would look like a lovesick teenager trying unsuccessfully to hide the fact that he was in love.
"Damn..." he breathed softly, feeling a throbbing pain growing in his temples. "I can't drag this out. If I don't choose... it'll be worse..."
He rushed to the first option, tapping it almost desperately.
The world came back sharply. Sound. Light. The pressure in his head was gone.
"So... can she stay the night?" he breathed aloud, in a tone like a child asking for a birthday present.
At that moment, there was... silence. Almost deathly.
Inko blinked, Chocolate blinked. Then the girl beamed:
"Really?! Thank you, Izuku!" She clutched his hand, beaming as if she had won the lottery. "I'll be a good guest, I promise!"
"No... No, no, no... why is she so happy?!" he mentally howled, feeling his ears burn.
"Oh..." Inko drew out that "oh" with an intonation that made him want to sink into the ground. She folded her arms across her chest and looked at her son with a sly smile: "Well, since you suggested it yourself... I'm not against it, of course. Only..." Her eyes narrowed dangerously. "No 'entertainment'—you're still too young."
"M-Mom!" Izuku almost collapsed to his knees in horror. "It's not what you think!"
"Of course, of course," Inko chimed in with a look on her face that said, "I understand everything." "Chocolate, dear, shall I make up a bed for you in the living room or..." She looked meaningfully at her son.
"In his room!" Chocolate replied happily, not even giving him a chance to answer.
At that moment, the captain of the ship "Consciousness of Midoria" silently took out a bottle of sake and drained it in one gulp, while his ship sank inexorably into an ocean of awkwardness. In Izuku's head, a siren wailed desperately: "EVACUATION! EVERYONE EVACUATE IMMEDIATELY!" But he forced a strained smile onto his face.
"Um... Sho-Chocolate, I think that..." he began, trying in vain to find the right words.
"What?" she asked, genuinely surprised. "It's logical! You're my 'friend,'" she said, making quotation marks with her fingers. "And friends should trust each other. Sleeping in the same room will strengthen our bond," she said with a very serious look that left no room for argument.
Inko covered her mouth slightly with her hand to hide a smirk. Her eyes flashed with that "motherly" interest that teenagers dream of falling into a parallel universe to escape.
"I see..." she drawled. "Well, trust is important. The main thing is that you... behave yourself."
Izuk suddenly realized that it was too late to try to fix anything. Any attempt to argue would look like an admission of guilt, so he just nodded as calmly as possible.
"Yes, Mom," he agreed wearily, completely tired of being embarrassed.
Inko smiled gently, but there was too much... understanding in her gaze. Too many hints, which Izuku simply dismissed. She pretended she wasn't going to say anything else and actually went to the cupboard for the dishes. But at that moment, her voice sounded again — light, ordinary, with that very note that made him want to disappear:
"I'll sleep on the floor then... or..." She turned her head slightly, as if by accident, "You have a big bed, right?"
Izuku froze, not even daring to breathe.
"Mom..." he sighed, wishing the charade would end.
Inko laughed softly, as if it were the sweetest thing in the world.
"All right, all right, I won't tease you." She placed a plate of fruit and sweets in front of them, then added as she walked away to the kitchen, "I just trust you, Izuku. You're a good boy."
Usually, the phrase "good boy" implied a threat: "Just try to give me a reason to doubt you!" That was something Izuku didn't want even in his worst nightmares. He swallowed, forcing out something like a nod, even though Inko had already disappeared behind the door.
The silence that hung in the room was quite awkward. Izuku had no choice but to show her his room. Since she was going to spend the night at his place.
"Okay, Chocolate, let me show you my room."
He got up from his seat, trying to look as composed as possible, even though the fatigue from constant embarrassment weighed on his shoulders more heavily than any training weight.
Chocolate easily jumped up after him, as if the situation didn't bother her at all. On the contrary, her gaze showed genuine interest, as if she was ready to examine every little detail related to him.
"Well then," she said, throwing her arms behind her head, "lead the way."
Izuku nodded briefly and walked down the hallway. His footsteps echoed hollowly, the silence only emphasizing how carefully he was avoiding her gaze. Standing in front of his door, he suddenly froze. With all the commotion, excitement, and questions, he only now realized that he was leading a beautiful girl into his room to spend the night. He couldn't help but feel nervous, especially considering that his room was littered with figurines and posters of the almighty, from floor to ceiling. For the first time, he felt awkward because of his slightly nerdy nature. Or, to put it simply, otaku... But there was nothing else to do, so just like before, he took a deep breath before entering the house, like a parachutist before jumping out of a plane, and opened the door.
The room greeted them with its usual comfort, but every detail seemed to scream to the whole world, "I am a fan of the Almighty." Numerous posters of the Almighty on the walls, neatly arranged figurines on the shelves and table, and even a huge curtain with an American theme.
"Why do I have to realize right now that all this looks... childish?" he thought wistfully, feeling his cheeks slowly heat up.
Chocolate stepped inside, stopping at the threshold, and her gaze slowly slid over the walls. She looked around the room carefully. Something barely noticeable flashed across her face — not quite surprise, not quite interest.
Izukou tensed, ready to hear any comment, even ridicule. But instead, she turned to him and said seriously:
"So where do you usually keep your porn?"
Izuku's brain froze for a moment. He didn't even understand what he had heard right away.
"Wh-what...?"
Chocolate tilted her head to one side, as if seriously waiting for an answer:
"Well, what guys usually... keep. You must have it, right?"
"N-no! I... don't have anything like that!"
She narrowed her eyes and, looking genuinely disappointed, sank to the floor, looking at him completely defenseless.
"Not even hentai manga?"
"No."
Her words seemed to create a dark, oppressive aura around Chocolate. She bowed her head even lower, her shoulders slumped, and something alarming and frightening appeared in her gaze.
"Not even... hentai manga...?" she repeated slowly, as if trying to comprehend a catastrophe of cosmic proportions.
Izuku swallowed and took a step back:
"I... I told you... no..."
The aura around her grew thicker, as if the air had become heavier, and the room filled with a sense of impending doom. Chocolate pressed her palms to her face, her fingers trembling, and her voice broke into a muffled whisper:
"How... how can you live like this?"
"Um..." He tried to defuse the situation somehow, but the words stuck in his throat.
She deliberately raised her head slowly, and her eyes flashed with a strange gleam:
"You... you're a eunuch?!"
"Wh-what?" Izuku completely lost the thread of the conversation.
"Well, eunuchs are usually those who lack certain parts due to castration. They became eunuchs by removing their testicles or completely removing their genitals, usually at an early age..." she began to explain.
Izuku waved his arms wildly, trying to stop these useless historical facts.
"D-don't say things like that! I'm not... I'm normal!"
Chocolate rolled her eyes dramatically, leaning back, lying on the floor in the shape of a star, and sighing with an air of doom:
"At least there's something normal in this room..." She glanced at the walls, where perfect order reigned, and added sarcastically, "I was starting to think you were some kind of holy paladin who feeds on sunlight and love for justice."
"Um... I just..." Izuku lowered his head, feeling his face flush. "Listen, why are you even interested in this? Especially in our digital age, who keeps hentai manga in their room?
Somewhere far away, a dwarf with purple hair shaped like balls sneezed.
"You don't understand, Izuku-kun, it's a tradition among all otaku. You can't betray your kind!"
Izuk froze for a second, his brain frantically trying to process what he had heard.
"My kind?!" he blurted out, horrified at the thought that Chocolate had just classified him as some kind of human subspecies. "That's... not how it works!"
"How is it 'not like that'?" Chocolate knelt down, looking at him as if he had just insulted sacred dogma. "You're a fan of that muscular guy, aren't you? Figurines and posters! These are basic concepts, Izuku-kun! And without hentai, it's like ramen without broth!"
"W-what does that have to do with..." He was almost suffocating, feeling how each of her phrases hammered the last nail into the coffin of his self-control.
Chocolate took a deep breath and raised her finger to the ceiling, as if taking an oath:
"I won't let you live like this!" Today is a day of holy enlightenment! I, Chocolate, solemnly swear that I will guide you on the path of truth.
"N-no, no, no, no!" Izuku backed away toward the door, sensing trouble.
Izuku spun around sharply, intending to flee, but Chocolat leapt up from the floor with the agility of a cat and blocked his path. Her eyes sparkled with the excitement of a hunter who had cornered her prey in her own game.
"Where are we going, huh?" she drawled with a smirk. "First the sacred vow, then the initiation. You won't leave without the ritual, Izuku-kun."
"The ritual?!" He almost choked. "What the...?"
She stepped forward, slowly raising his phone, which had somehow ended up in her hands.
"Don't be afraid... it'll be gentle. First, I'll show you a collection of classics of the genre, specifically tentacles! Bugagaga — and she slowly began to approach him, poking something on the phone screen.
At that moment, Izuku thought for a second that being crushed by a Buddha statue wasn't such a bad idea.
Meanwhile, outside, Inko was in no hurry to open the door, carefully pausing on the threshold with a spare mattress and bedding. She listened to the strange sounds coming from her son's room. Her heart was beating slightly — not out of anxiety, but rather a mixture of curiosity and concern.
"What are they doing there...?" — the thought flashed through her mind.
She acted subtly, not wanting to interfere prematurely and spoil the moment of intimacy between Izuku and Chocolate. She felt that if she burst in right now, it would only embarrass them both.
"And teenagers are like that... they always think their parents are meddling in their business..."
Inko decided that she would only intervene if she heard something really alarming or if the kids suddenly noticed her long absence. Meanwhile, strange, fragmented phrases came from behind the door, causing her eye to twitch involuntarily:
"Deko, stop! It doesn't hurt! It's cultural development!" Chocolate's muffled voice came through.
Inko slowly straightened up and froze, blushing slightly.
"Cultural... what?"
She took a deep breath, trying to convince herself that they were just performing some kind of teenage ritual or playing a strange game.
"All kids are like that these days..." she consoled herself. But an inner voice whispered, "What if... it's not that?"
Nodding to herself, Inko decided not to interfere for now, although the feeling that she was doing something wrong did not go away. A thought flashed through her mind: "It's tactless to stand at the door and eavesdrop like this... if they find out, it will be very awkward."
She was about to quietly slip away to the kitchen when suddenly she heard more from behind the door:
"Relax! Tentacles are a classic of the genre!"
Inko froze, and for a second, horror froze in her eyes.
"What tentacles?!"
Somewhere in the distance, a small purple dwarf suddenly felt that the world had become a little more perverted. And for some inexplicable reason, he was overcome with a wave of envy.