WebNovels

Chapter 3 - Chapter 03: Pain in the A*s

One of them tripped over a root and started crying.

Su Qinglan stared at the bawling brat, her lip twitching.

Oh, of course. The moment the little snot-nose hit the ground, every nearby beast turned to look at her like she had pushed him.

Really? she thought, watching the kid sniffle and point at her with fat tears dripping down his cheeks. I didn't even touch you, you drama cub.

In her apocalypse life, children had two modes: silent shadows who learned to survive or feral street rats who'd stab you for a piece of bread. This one? This one was the third kind. The loud, useless, blame-you-for-breathing kind.

Pain in the Ass.

She gave him her best innocent smile, one she'd used many times when lying through her teeth to armed raiders, and tilted her head. "Careful, little cub," she muttered under her breath so only she could hear, "blame me again and I'll feed you to the ferocious beast."

In her mind, she was already imagining it: the kid's wails echoing while she tossed him next to the ferocious beast. Very therapeutic.

The boy's mother hurried over, scooping him up like he'd been mauled by a bear. She shot Su Qinglan a glare sharp enough to cut stone.

Su Qinglan just stared back, expression flat, thinking, Lady, control your spawn. If you let them run wild, don't cry when they trip over their own feet.

Whatever, she had no business in this; it is good that she did not come to trouble her. She did not mind these little dramas of children.

The more important business was to locate where the damn river was.

But Su Qinglan's irritation evaporated the moment she spotted another child lingering nearby, a small boy with soft white hair, round cheeks, and two perfectly perky cat ears twitching atop his head.

Her heart melted just a little.

… Okay. That's so cute.

Her fingers actually itched to touch them, but one glance at her own hands... filthy, streaked with who-knows-what—made her pause. The last thing those velvet ears needed was a layer of unknown grime.

The little cub froze when her shadow fell over him. His big blue eyes locked onto hers, and for a moment, she thought he might start wailing like the last one.

But no, his lips pressed together, his tiny fists clenched at his sides, and he stood rigid like a soldier trying very, very hard not to disgrace his honor.

Oh? Playing the tough little warrior, are we?

Su Qinglan looked down, putting her face level with his. She flashed her most dazzling, most harmless smile.

…Which, given her face and the glint in her eyes, probably looked more like a predator about to play with her food.

She swore she saw those cat ears twitch, once in uncertainty, and then again in what might have been pure fear.

Yep. Terrified. Might faint any second.

Sorry, baby, Still, she needed him.

"Good child…" she cooed softly, her voice dipped in honey. "Tell me—where's the river around here?"

The boy didn't blink or move. If he was even breathing, she couldn't tell.

She leaned in closer, lowering her voice like they were sharing a dangerous secret. "It's important."

The cub swallowed audibly. His tail—she just noticed it—stiffened like a spear.

Su Qinglan waited, still wearing that smile.

The cub's little arm jerked up like a rusty lever, finger shaking as he pointed dead ahead.

"If… if you go straight, you'll find the river," he stammered.

Su Qinglan's lips stretched into the kind of smile small children saw right before bedtime nightmares began.

"What a good child," she cooed. "Next time, I'll bring you… snacks."

Judging by the way his cat ears gave one violent TWITCH, she wasn't sure if he was thrilled or on the verge of passing out.

Either way, mission accomplished.

She turned on her heel and strode toward the river, feeling victorious...until voices piped up behind her.

"Big Brother, you're a legend!" a boy stage-whispered. "You actually faced the fat demon and lived!"

"She wasn't that scary..." the cat-eared cub started.

"Not scary?! She smiled at you. My grandma says that's when predators strike!"

Another kid gasped. "You made her leave, though! She ran away because of your warrior spirit!"

"Yeah! I bet she was scared you'd… uh… bite her ankles!"

The group erupted in gasps and nods of approval.

"She's probably crying inside right now," a little boy added solemnly.

Su Qinglan's eye twitched so hard it could've started an earthquake.

Crying?

From behind came one last nail in the coffin:

"Next time she comes, we'll all hide behind you!"

Her hands flexed. Oh, little warrior… Enjoy your hero title while it lasts. Snacks are definitely off the table now.

Su Qinglan stomped through the grass, muttering curses under her breath about these narcissistic cubs and hero titles. But her irritation died the moment she saw it...

A river.

Her eyes went wide. Not just any river, but a long, glittering ribbon of pure liquid paradise. The water was so clear she could see straight to the bottom, where fat silver fish darted between smooth stones.

Sunlight danced on the surface like tiny shards of glass, making the whole thing look like a treasure chest had exploded.

Her apocalypse-hardened heart actually skipped. She had never seen so much clean water in her life. Back then, even muddy puddles were fought over like gold. And here was an endless, sparkling feast.

"Oh, I'm going to drink until my stomach explodes," she whispered with reverence.

She picked her way down the slope, careful not to slip and roll straight into the river like a sack of potatoes. Her bare feet crunched on the damp earth as she crouched at the edge, the cool mist brushing her cheeks.

Then she froze.

Because staring back at her from the surface was… that.

"Holy...moly! What kind of cow am I?!" She shrieked, clutching her face as if to confirm the reflection wasn't hers at all.

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