As night deepened, Silas and the others waved goodbye to Sakura at the entrance of the family quarters, then boarded the bus for the return trip.
Pardofelis and Dystopia sat together, chatting about the games they'd played earlier. Hua sat quietly with her eyes closed, resting. Elysia, seated beside her, was typing on her phone. Kosma sat next to Silas, occasionally glancing at him—at his fingers moving across the screen—and then at Dystopia, his expression caught between wanting to speak and holding back.
"Why do you keep staring at me? If you have something to say, just say it. Don't expect others to always guess what's on your mind from your expression." Silas spoke softly while still typing. "Some things… if you don't voice them, they'll never reach the heart of the person you want them to."
"I…" Kosma opened his mouth, then stole a glance at Silas's phone. No use—his phone had an anti-peeping screen. Still, Kosma could pretty much guess. Ten to one, he was texting with Elysia.
(The way things are progressing between Silas and Elysia… I'm slowly getting used to it. Can communication really be that straightforward? No… I'm not Silas, and Dystopia isn't Elysia. And between us… there's the weight of an entire lifetime in between.)
"Do you like Dystopia?" Silas suddenly asked.
Kosma froze, caught completely off guard. His face burned, but deep down, he knew protesting would be useless. Among those who'd been reborn together, everyone already knew about his lingering feelings for Dystopia. There was no need to say it out loud.
"If you think it doesn't need to be said, then you're making a big mistake." Silas's eyes never left his screen. "Some feelings—you need to say them. Only then do you have the courage to face them. We all know, and you know it too. But that's no excuse to stay silent."
"Then what about you and Elysia?" Kosma countered, trying to seize back a bit of initiative. Surely Silas had no standing to lecture him on this point.
"Different people, different circumstances." Silas's voice was calm. "Elysia and I… we've already walked that path of only watching each other from afar. You know how that ended. Even now, there are still cracks between us. As for you and Dystopia, it really just comes down to who's willing to open their mouth first. Or… is it that you're afraid of something?"
"…Maybe." Kosma admitted. "Years later, when that incident happens, I…"
"You're afraid that once you've gotten used to that bond, you won't be able to handle it when she leaves. Isn't that it?" Silas finally lowered his phone and looked at him.
Kosma hesitated, then nodded. "…Yes."
"Then go on hesitating like this. And watch the same thing repeat itself." Silas shifted his gaze back to his phone. "By then, the regret won't just be about what you couldn't do. It'll be about what you never even tried to do."
"Why are you so certain?" Kosma pressed.
"Because there's someone… who thought that way," Silas replied. "As for me, personally, I think… rather than clinging to the regret of what could've been, it's better to etch into memory the time you did share together—the experiences, the moments."
Kosma fell silent. That person—could it be Elysia? He remembered that in their previous life, only after the Twelfth Herrscher incident did he realize how much Elysia cared for Silas. But by then, Silas didn't even want to see her. The two had no chance for meaningful exchange.
As for Silas's feelings toward her, Kosma had only heard of them indirectly—when Mobius mentioned it offhand while treating him with her excessive, almost cruel, therapies that restored him to human form.
No one is a hero from the start. Not even Kevin, not even Silas. Kevin always fought in Mei's name, carrying her will. And Silas? From the very beginning—joining MOTH, becoming a MANTIS—it had always been for Elysia.
After being reborn and truly understanding Elysia's feelings for Silas, Kosma couldn't help but wonder: if she felt so strongly, why did she only watch from afar before the Eleventh Herrscher incident, doing nothing?
"My words end here." Silas let out a quiet sigh. "Before you start worrying about my feelings, you'd better sort out your own first."
Kosma said no more. Silas also fell silent, staring at his phone screen, his finger hovering over the keys but unable to press down.
Elysia: Silas, I had so much fun today~ (≧ω≦)
Silas: You seem to have fun every day.
Elysia: But today was special. Very special!
Silas: Then tell me… why is that?
Elysia: Of course it's because we got a little closer today~ (/≧▽≦/)
Silas: Elysia… I'm curious… when did you start caring about me so much?
Elysia: I've always cared about you!
Silas: I know how you feel about me, but I also want to know… why.
Elysia: Silas… you really have no self-awareness about this, do you?
Silas: ?
Elysia: Forget it. After we get home, can we take a walk together? We can take the chance to really talk things through.
Silas: Alright.
Elysia: It seems Kosma has been talking with you. Is it a boy-to-boy secret conversation? Can you tell me?
Silas: Nothing much. I just helped him realize his feelings for Dystopia. If they keep going like this, it won't work out either way.
Elysia: Huh… how do they manage to stay single even when feelings are mutual?
Silas: From what I see, Kosma's just afraid… afraid he can't accept a future that's already happened.
Elysia: Afraid that because he once had it, he can't face losing it?
Elysia: Then, Silas… tell him this for me: if he keeps stopping himself, when the same thing happens again, what he regrets will be more than just what he couldn't do. It will be everything he never even tried.
Elysia: Why am I saying this? Because I understand this feeling more than anyone.
Elysia: Always just watching, hesitating on the path of love… until you and I drifted apart, until we never met again.
Silas stared at her message on the screen, unable to imagine what state of mind she had when typing these words. He turned to look at Elysia, seated a few rows behind him. She simply gave him a gentle smile, watching him with calm attention.
Silas: "…."
Don't let him feel guilty… the more she looked at him like this, the more he recalled the events of their previous life.
At times, he wondered if this passive attitude was truly okay. Guilt for what he'd done—or not done—after the tragedy of Binding in their past life was already part of his feelings toward Elysia. It had led him to quietly allow her actions now, even though a part of him questioned it.
The bus reached their stop.
Silas stepped off first. Elysia followed him, walking alongside. Dystopia glanced at Pardofelis and gestured for her to follow—she couldn't let any distance form between them.
Pardofelis tilted her head, watching the two depart. "Normally, we'd follow right away, but today… Silas and Elysia probably have something important to talk about."
Dystopia looked at Pardofelis, then at the two disappearing figures. Small Pardofelis's words… seemed true. Though they were walking together, the distance between them felt different than usual.
Farther apart?
Dystopia thought carefully. Clearly, there were things between Silas and Elysia that she still didn't understand…
At that moment, Kosma's voice sounded beside her: "Dystopia… would you… like to take a walk with me?"
Dystopia: "Eh?!"
She looked up, startled, at the boy in front of her. His gaze was firm, meeting hers without hesitation.
She pressed her lips together. "Alright. It's been a while since we had a proper chat anyway… right, Kosma?"
"Yeah."
Hua, the earnest one, first watched Silas and Elysia walk together, then looked at Dystopia and Kosma. Finally, she turned her gaze to Pardofelis.
Pardofelis: "…."
Hua's look… what was it supposed to mean? On a normal day, they would have followed Silas without question! Don't look at me like that!
Pardofelis sighed. "Hua, stop looking at me like that. Let's head back together."
Hua's face was puzzled. "My expression… is something wrong?"
Pardofelis paused. "…Nothing. Maybe it's just my imagination. Let's go, Hua."
Hua nodded. "Alright."
Meanwhile…
Moonlight poured over the two of them as they walked side by side through a garden. Neither spoke.
After a long moment, Silas finally chose his words carefully: "Elysia, we…"
Elysia sighed. "Well… at least this time, you actually took the initiative to speak, Silas."
Silas: "…."
So… she was waiting for him to ask?
"Before I answer your question, can you hold my hand?" Elysia asked. "Let me know… that you're still here with me."
Silas fell silent. After a long pause, he reached out his hand. Just as he was about to touch hers, he hesitated, then finally intertwined his fingers with hers.
The next moment, their hands were clasped tightly, fingers interlaced.
He looked at her.
Elysia looked back. "I wonder… how many girls' hands did you hold before me? Forget it… I'm sure Lilith has a share…"
Silas: "…."
Well… counting this lifetime, and that forced kiss from Lilisth… aside from that one… encounter, it seemed like he and Lilith had really done everything else.
Elysia noticed the complicated expression on his face. Slightly pouting, she turned her gaze away and whispered, "At least… now, you belong to me."
They continued walking a while longer before Elysia spoke again.
"Why do I like you…? If I think carefully, I don't even have a clear answer. Is it because you always supported me unconditionally? Or because when you confessed, your eyes were full of me? Or is it your heroic figure fighting the Honkai, or your gentle smile every time we meet…? Or maybe… all of it?"
Silas listened quietly.
Elysia continued: "I've also wondered… whether my affection for you includes guilt. Guilt for all you bore on my behalf… guilt that I wasn't by your side when you needed me most."
Interesting… here's someone else who carries guilt for me, Silas thought.
"Adoring your gentleness, feeling guilty for your sacrifice…" Elysia murmured, a bit lost. "Maybe… there's some selfishness too. I want you to be gentle only with me. I want your eyes to see only me… For these reasons, I've had my moments…"
"Elysia…"
She looked at him earnestly. "Is my feeling for you… no longer pure?"
"It isn't," Silas replied. "Everything in your heart right now is perfectly natural for an ordinary girl. If you think about it this way… I also feel guilt toward you. You've always been someone very special to me. Even in the end, I never hated you. But I never imagined… that I would end up being the one to hurt you the most. So… after knowing your heart, I've carried guilt all along."
"I see…" Elysia lowered her beautiful eyelashes.
They walked in silence for a while longer.
Finally, Elysia spoke again: "I don't know if my feelings for you are pure… but I do know this: I want to see you every day, and I want our lives to walk together, side by side."
"Is that so…" Silas murmured thoughtfully. "Then my wish… is that your life has no shadows, that your future shines as brilliantly as the stars… I suppose, in this sense, I've never changed."
"But I want to walk together with you. Since realizing my own heart, that has never changed either," Elysia said firmly.
Meanwhile, with Kosma:
"Kosma… you've been silent the whole way. You're not… just wanting to walk with me, are you?" Dystopia couldn't help but ask.
"..."
"I shouldn't have… expected anything from someone like you…"
"I like you."
"Eh? Eh?!!!"
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