"You want to fight, don't you?""You're clearly looking for trouble."
Naruto, who had finally calmed down, was once again locked in a shouting match with Sasuke during dinner. In the blink of an eye, they were grabbing each other by the collar, ready to throw down.
"There's a clearing outside. If you want to brawl, go do it there."
Uchiha Kage, who was more concerned with protecting his peaceful meal than playing referee, watched them with amusement and even stirred the pot a bit.
"Seems like class didn't give you two enough excitement today."
After all, fights sometimes dropped ninja fragments...
With that thought, Uchiha Kage silently hoped they'd go all out.
Then again, whenever these two got together, peace was impossible anyway—he didn't need to do a thing to provoke it.
"You're just someone I already beat. Fighting you again is a waste of time."
"What did you say?!"
Naruto's mood soured instantly, remembering how Sasuke had humiliated him in front of the entire class earlier that day.
"If you hadn't relied on sneak attacks, I wouldn't have lost!"
"You brain-dead moron. Only someone completely useless can't tell the difference between a real and a fake clone."
Sasuke glared at Naruto with his usual disdain.
This idiot didn't even understand that sneak attacks were standard in a ninja battle.
"But if you're really that desperate for a beating, I'll be happy to oblige."
For reasons he couldn't explain, every time Sasuke fought Naruto, he felt... something. Especially when he won.
"You think I'm scared? Bring it on!"
"That fight got pretty intense."
Uchiha Kage grinned as he watched the two boys, full of energy after dinner, rolling in the dirt on the Uchiha clan's training grounds.
But it wasn't much of a fair fight. Naruto was completely outmatched—pinned to the ground, bruised and battered by Sasuke.
Meanwhile, Sasuke looked almost untouched, save for a bit of dust and a single punch from Naruto.
Still, Naruto wasn't ready to give up.
Lying on the ground, he just grunted stubbornly: "Come again."
"All right, enough. It's getting late. You two go take a shower—I've already prepared hot water."
[Ninja Fragment x2]
After quietly scooping up the newly dropped ninja fragments, Uchiha Kage noticed just how late it had gotten.
"Shower? Me?"
Naruto hesitated. He'd eaten his fill, and it was getting dark. Should he head home?
But to his surprise, Uchiha Kage seemed to have no intention of letting him leave.
"It's already late. Don't run around in the dark. Just stay the night."
Uchiha Kage casually handed him a towel.
"There are plenty of empty rooms. When you're done messing around, just crash in one."
"But…"
Naruto looked toward Sasuke, who had already walked into the house.
Would Sasuke be okay with this?
After all, Naruto knew this place belonged to Sasuke.
"What are you standing there for? Hurry up. You're the last one outside."
With his back to Naruto, Sasuke dropped a cold comment from the doorway.
Now Sasuke knew why Naruto felt so different from everyone else.
Because no matter how many times he got knocked down, Naruto always got back up.
"Got it!"
It was Naruto's first time staying over at someone else's house.
He quietly wiped the dirt from his eyes, then jumped into the house under the warm glow of the porch light.
"Arrogant Sasuke… I swear I'll crush you one day."
Pouting, Naruto turned to look at Uchiha Kage, then scratched his head awkwardly.
"Sorry about earlier... I called you a jerk in class today. But you're actually pretty cool."
Even Shikamaru and Choji had never invited him over before.
"It's fine."
You insulted me, then handed me the "nice guy" card?
Ruffling Naruto's spiky hair roughly, Uchiha Kage decided to let it slide.
Really. No grudges held.
"Ow! That hurts! Let go! You're gonna tear my scalp off!"
Naruto immediately regretted what he said. Maybe the Uchiha weren't all bad—except they definitely didn't know how to go easy on someone.
[Do you want to enter the dungeon?]
After settling the hyperactive Naruto into a guest room, Uchiha Kage had just closed his eyes when he found himself pulled into another space.
But this time, he skipped over the Kaguya dungeon and arrived directly on the streets of a Konoha-like village.
He made his way toward the Hokage Building with practiced ease.
[Action Points: 3/3. Spend 1 point to enter the scene?]
"Huh? Yesterday I only had two points. Why three today?"
Had absorbing more ninja fragments increased his limit?
Or maybe it just recharged over time?
"Whatever. I'll figure out this cheat system later."
In this cold, brutal ninja world, the only warmth Uchiha Kage found came from Tsunade's Da Lei [lit. "big thunder"].
He pushed open the door and walked straight into the Hokage's office.
"No missions today…"
"That's fine. You're my mission."
Unlike last night's cautious version, tonight's Tsunade copy was far bolder.
As soon as he entered, he swept the voluptuous blonde beauty onto the desk.
She responded to every word with just the right amount of scripted romance.
"That's too forward! Call me Hokage!"
"Of course, Hokage-sama. Now open your mouth…"
"Stop messing around! This is the Hokage's office!"
"That's what makes it more atmospheric."
"Mmm... there's... no mission... today..."
The porcelain-skinned woman sprawled across the desk now had golden hair cascading down her shoulders, a flushed face, hazy eyes, disheveled clothes—and holy light pouring from every angle.
Her high-heeled sandals had long been kicked off, revealing pale, delicate feet painted with bright red polish.
Uchiha Kage noticed something strange.
Even though this Tsunade was just an NPC, she reacted with astonishing realism—blushing, sweating, panting.
Aside from her mechanical speech and occasional robotic phrasing, she was indistinguishable from a real person.
Too real, in fact. Sometimes it even made him feel guilty.
"Guess I'm still not quite evil enough."
[You've deepened your bond with the female ninja. Bond +1]
After lingering a bit and watching Tsunade return to her original seated position behind the Hokage's desk, a new notification popped up.
"I meant to ask last night—what exactly are these bond points for?"
[Bond points allow access to other people's dreams.]
"Dreams?"
As in... real dreams? Of real people?
[The farther away the person is, the more points are consumed. But physical harm is impossible within dreams.]
"So it's like a... dream infiltration tool?"
He studied the description of the ability in more detail, eyebrows raising slightly with curiosity—before his interest began to fade.
"Meh. Kind of lame if all I can do is sneak into dreams."
But then a thought hit him.
"Wait a second… This could actually be perfect for playing pranks."
Thinking of the two old schemers running Konoha—Hiruzen and Danzo—Uchiha Kage suddenly felt inspired.
And a little mischievous.