The first thing I did when I flopped into my carriage was take off my shoes.
Yes, I know, not very princess-like. But honestly? My poor feet had been suffering in silence all evening while I waltzed, twirled, smiled, and pretended to be the very picture of grace.
"Ha," I muttered to my feet. "You survived. Barely."
They didn't answer. Which, fine, I suppose is normal.
The driver shouted to the horses, and the carriage started moving. I rested my head against the window and sighed. Outside, the bright sun warmed the green fields, and the blue sky stretched far and wide, as if it was quietly watching me.
And oh, I had thoughts.
A nobleman literally died. In front of me. While holding my hands like I was the last dessert at the banquet table.
…Which is fine. Totally fine. Not suspicious at all.
I rubbed my face and groaned.
I could feel my old self tugging at me, the self from before everything. After waking up a year ago. The childish, laughing, ribbon-wearing princess who spent more time making daisy chains than worrying about court politics.
The "Laughing Princess" everyone adored because she was never serious, never threatening, never… dangerous.
Except… that was always the plan.
Play dumb. Smile. Let them think I'm harmless.
All while listening, watching, and keeping track of everything they don't want me to know.
Because the truth is, I'm a genius observer. A master of disguise. A collector of secrets so juicy they could start wars.
And I keep them all in my diary written in a code so silly looking, someone once told me it looked like baby scribbles. (It's not baby scribbles. It's a highly sophisticated cipher disguised as doodles of teapots and cats.) I know, I know that's way too much self-praise. But what am I supposed to do? Lie and say I'm average? Please. I'd break out in hives.
That's who I am now.
…Or at least, that's who I've had to become.
Because before a year ago? I remember nothing.
Just waking up in the palace with everyone smiling a little too brightly and saying, "You're so lucky to be alive, Nimara."
They never tell me what happened. Just that I "survived that day."
That day.
The last day I saw my sister.
We were in a carriage together. And then… nothing. Blackness.
When I think about it too hard, my chest feels tight. So instead, I laugh, wear ribbons, and let everyone think I'm still that silly girl.
But in this past year?
I've learned everything about the palace and the people in it.
How cunning they are. How fake their smiles can be. How every compliment hides a little dagger.
Everyone blames me for what happened that night. And honestly? I blame me too. They all say I was the one who took lia out that evening, and if I hadn't, everything would still be fine. No one ever says it to my face, though, probably because they're terrified of my mother. She made it very clear from now on, no one talks about that night to her. She's already lost one daughter, and she refuses to lose another.
Some people whisper lia died. Some say she's still alive somewhere.
I believe she's alive.
I have to.
From that day on, I became the apple of my mother's eye, which sounds sweet, except it feels more like I'm a fragile piece of glass she's afraid to drop.
My father died before I was even born,I was still in my mother's stomach when it happened. Since then, she's run the kingdom all on her own.
I have one older brother, but he's crippled, so everyone says the weight of ruling fell entirely on her. My sister and my brother… we were all close. Like, really close. That's what everyone says, anyway. And then… well.
By the time my carriage rolled up to the palace gates, I was ready to slip right back into the role of harmless sunshine.
The moment the carriage stopped, the door was thrown open, and there was Mother. Queen Lora of Eldebryn.
Her dark hair was pinned in place with a silver comb, her gown immaculate as always, but her eyes… her eyes looked both relieved and furious. A complicated mix, like she wanted to hug me really tight.
'I sent you to valoeian's kingdom because it was supposed to be safe," my mother said the moment I stepped down from the carriage. And now a nobleman is dead!.
Mother, I said, throwing my arms out like I was presenting myself on stage, look! Not a single scratch on me. You can be free of your worry.
Her lips twitched I swear she almost smiled but then she pressed them into that thin royal line again.
Naturally, half the court was standing behind me. And not so long she calmed down.
"Rest assured, my lady. She's no longer a child," General Smith said with the kind of stiff, official voice that makes you want to roll your eyes so hard you see your brain.
If we're handing out prizes for Most Annoying Man in the Kingdom, he'd win without competition. I can't stand him. Not because he's ever done anything truly awful to me, though I'm sure he's imagined it, but because of the way he looks at me. Like I'm just some decorative vase that occasionally eats pastries and trips over expensive rugs
I could practically hear him thinking, She's nothing but a spoiled princess. She'll never be fit to rule anything.
And judging by the smug little curl of his lip, he wasn't the only one in the court who thought that way.
Then there was my teacher, kind, patient, endlessly tolerant. Technically my uncle, though only by blood politics. He's the illegitimate child of someone from Mother's family, which makes him not-quite-royalty but still very much ours. He's only thirty-four, which means he's young enough to still climb trees with me if I asked, and old enough to know better.
But before I could greet any of them, another figure caught my attention.
Tall. Dark hair. That kind of easy, unbothered confidence only a certain kind of prince can pull off.
I glanced at Mother, then raised my eyebrows in a silent Who is this now? kind of way. She didn't notice, or maybe she did and just didn't care.
Then I realized why he felt familiar.
Adrian Throne, Prince of Aleoria.
He bowed slightly to my mother. "A pleasure to see you again, Your Majesty."
And then he turned to me. "Princess Nimara." His voice was smooth. Dangerous. Like silk that might just be hiding a blade. "It is an honor."
I tilted my head, studying him. "Have I seen you before?"
Before he could answer, Mother placed a hand on my shoulder. You two chat. I have matters in the court to attend to.
And just like that, she swept away with her guards and attendants, leaving me standing there with the strange prince.
Then it hit me.
I had seen him before.
At the ball.
Last night.