Each day passed in an instant, the days that seemed to take almost forever to end.. were gone in an instant, we grew closer each time we talked, and now I could confidently call her my friend.
My life has always been too peaceful, and maybe God decided it was time for a change to take place.
Or maybe.. just maybe.. he decided it was time for me to make a move on my life and grow stronger emotionally.
Having such a boring everyday life; didn't quite appeal to me, I always wanted something serious to happen.
And guess what? He listened to me.
Everyday, my struggles grew stronger and stronger as I tried to find new topics to text on, there were days where we acted as if we were close to each others, and days we pretended we never knew each other.
Sometimes, the days turned into weeks, but I couldn't let the weeks turn into months, even though I didn't have anything going on with her... It just didn't sit right with me, the fact she might talk to anyone else other than me.
I might be jealous of people who talk to her on a daily basis, or even insecure of someone I'm not dating, or even that close with.
Deep down, I knew she barely considered me a friend.. it was more as if I was her friend's little brother that was just a chat mate for her.
I didn't feel the same, infact.. I fell more, they say, "To make her fall, you must make her laugh." But who knew, that it would be me falling harder.. everytime she laughed.
I began talking to my friends about him, they congratulated me, but I still knew.. there were some who were jealous of me, that would even attempt sabotaging our relation.
Months passed, and it was time for our 2nd unit test exams, I hadn't studied, not even a single chapter.
11 whole subjects.. and I hadn't studied even as much as the minimum requirement is.
"Ah!! What do I do!? Exams are on the way, it will be here by next week! How do I study!?" I procrastinated, I began thinking.. "What's gonna happen if I fail anyways.. it's not that serious." I left everything to build up, right before I studied.
Though that wasn't the case for her, as I was talking to her, she also kept her studies in check, unlike me.. who hadn't studied a single bit.
"Man.. I'm gonna fail for sure! What face do I face her with when she asks me about how my grades are this time!"
I was never of an academic achiever.. well I guess atleast an A student, but that doesn't count, I'm sure my grades will drop lower than C this time.
"Okay! It's time to take my matters into my very own hands!" I began studying day and night, I spent less time procrastinating or even thinking about procrastinating. I didn't give my mind the luxury to even assume that it has free time.
Frequent nosebleeds and the deficiency of iron said otherwise, with the excessive study routine all of a sudden, my mind went blank. My eyes turned shut and I was completely turned around.
"I have failed, I never imagined these back benchers suffered this hard just to enjoy the entire year and study a day before exams."
3 days before examinations, I rested for an entire day and got to work immediately.
"Come out! Let's eat!" Said my mother, but I was too 'in the motion' to stop my studying momentum.
"Didn't you hear me!? Come down this instant!" I tried to ignore this too.. but I couldn't, my mother is dangerous.
I went down that infant and immediately sat down to eat.
"Thank you for the food!" I said, gobbling down the large portions of food.
"Are you studying well?" Asked my father, "Yeah. It's going well." I replied, knowing damn well that nothing was going to be alright.
"Finally! I'm done! It's time for a revision, those chapters that I completed in the beginning!" It was a surprise I even had the energy to breathe. It seemed near to impossible just to stand, my legs were experiencing muscle spasms, my hands were trembling, my palms were sweaty, but I did not stop.
"Alright.. maybe I'll rest for a while." I said, but the thought of her disgusted face upon hearing my grades instantly woke me up. The drowsiness I felt from the inability to sleep disappeared.. as I fainted from fatigue.
"Jay..! Are you okay!? The doctor said it happened due to over exhausting yourself! Have you been studying day and night..?" My mother.. stood infront of me as I lay in bed, covered with a blanket and a wet cloth on top of my head.
"Ha! I need to study." I got up that instant, but my mother insisted I slept in instead.
There was just one more day before my exams.
"Let's focus on recovery." I thought to myself, because all my preparations would go down the drainage if I couldn't even attend the exams.
"Let's revise in my brain." I stared at the ceiling as I try to remind myself everything I studied.
"Guess I can't cover everything even if I study day and night for a week huh?" I couldn't remember anything. I mean I could, but they only came to me after a while.
And not even most of the answers popped up in my brain, this was hard. I felt like I let down my entire family, and her..
"Fine.. have some self confidence, I will do it with confidence, write everything I know, and leave the ones I don't to ponder upon when I have time." Was my strategy for this one.
The day of the examinations to take place.. finally arrived.
"The nervousness, I can feel it tingle my entire body. This is hard." I went through the seating arrangement, and this..