When the System says "Bodyguard Double Bind", what it really means is: welcome to hell.
I discovered this at precisely 6:03 a.m., when I woke to find not one but two tall, overprotective men stationed in my bedroom.
"Morning," Caelan said cheerfully from where he was leaning against my wardrobe.
Lysander was standing at the foot of my bed, arms crossed, looking like a statue carved from disapproval. "You sleep too heavily. Vulnerable."
"I also don't enjoy being stared at like a museum exhibit," I muttered, yanking the covers up. "What are you even doing here?!"
"Supervision," they said at the same time.
---
The first day of "supervision" was a blur of ridiculousness.
Caelan followed me into the palace garden for fresh air, insisting on "sparring practice disguised as a walk."
Lysander trailed behind us like a shadow, correcting Caelan's form mid-sentence and glaring at him whenever he stood too close to me.
When I tried to go to the library, Lysander claimed he was better suited to "academic surveillance" because Caelan would "touch things he shouldn't."
Caelan responded by pulling a book off the shelf, flipping it open, and pretending to be fascinated by a diagram of poisonous fungi. "Oops. Guess I touched something."
---
By mid-afternoon, the rivalry had reached a level that even the palace staff noticed.
Passing maids exchanged knowing looks. A courtier whispered, "Ah, the Duke and the Prince—both courting her in their own way."
I nearly choked on my tea. "Courting?!"
---
It all came to a head at dinner.
I had hoped for a quiet meal in the guest dining hall. Instead, Caelan plopped into the seat to my left, Lysander to my right. The tension between them was so thick you could butter bread with it.
The System notification popped up in my vision.
[SIDE QUEST UPDATE]: Synchronized Supervision Challenge: Make it through one meal without either man starting a duel.
Reward: +5 Sanity.
I was desperate for that sanity bonus.
"So," I began brightly, "how's the investigation into the mirror shard?"
Caelan shrugged. "Slow. Whoever smuggled it in covered their tracks well."
Lysander set down his fork. "Which is why you should be more careful. You attract danger."
"She doesn't attract it," Caelan countered. "She faces it head-on."
"I call it like I see it," Lysander replied.
I sipped my wine and stared at the chandelier, wondering if falling glass could count as a distraction.
The conversation spiraled from "combat readiness" to "proper proximity protocols" until I finally slammed my hands on the table.
"Gentlemen," I said sweetly, "if you're going to fight, at least make it shirtless so I have something to look at while you ruin my evening."
Both of them froze.
Caelan's grin was slow and wicked. Lysander's ears turned faintly red.
The rest of the meal passed in charged, awkward silence.
---
That night, as I collapsed into bed, the System pinged.
[SIDE QUEST STATUS]:
Day 1 Complete.
Sanity +5.
Only two more days to survive this.
Easy.
…Right?
---
END OF CHAPTER