Thick white steam billowed around the secluded hot spring, nestling it deep in the cliffs below the Celestial Lotus Summit. The air carried a hint of sulfur, a whisper of serenity until Hwan Do shattered it all with a cannonball and a whoop of pure joy.
"AAAAAH! FINALLY! HOT WATER THAT ISN'T TRYING TO KILL ME!"
Water blasted outwards, soaking Zhu Bao where he'd just set up his portable grill nearby.
"Hwan Do!" Seo Rin snapped, arms tightly crossed, keeping a polite but utterly lethal distance from the spring. "This is a sacred hot spring, meant to soothe inner meridians and balance qi. It's not a soup pot for your dirty feet!"
"But it's so warm! I can feel my bones forgiving me!" Hwan Do declared, drifting past on a piece of wood shaped suspiciously like a broken cartwheel. "Plus, my back's been making demon noises since we climbed the summit yesterday. This is practically medical treatment."
Zhu Bao, busy marinating mushrooms, gave a slow, deliberate nod. "He does creak like an undercooked dumpling."
Seo Rin groaned, turning her back, but not before catching a glimpse of Hwan Do. Head tilted back, eyes closed, a rare moment of quiet settled over his face. For a single second, he didn't look like a clumsy buffoon. Just… peaceful. Her scowl deepened, and she quickly looked away.
"I'm heading to the eastern ridge to scout," she muttered, already walking away. "If anything explodes, try not to scream too loud."
"Not making any promises," Hwan Do called out, already using a bamboo ladle to lazily splash water over his belly like a vacationing uncle.
Once she vanished into the mist, Zhu Bao waddled closer, a skewer clutched in a hoof.
"Are you an idiot?" the pig asked, almost too casually.
"You'll need to be more specific," Hwan Do deadpanned.
Zhu Bao let out a long, put-upon sigh. "That girl likes you. Possibly against her will. Definitely against the laws of nature. But she does. And you," he jabbed the skewer towards Hwan Do, "are out here bathing like a clueless duck."
Hwan Do lurched upright, water sloshing around him. "Wait, Seo Rin? The same Seo Rin who tried to stab me for serving her venom soup? The one whose eyebrows could slice steel? She likes me?"
"She hasn't killed you yet," Zhu Bao pointed out. "By Murim standards, that's practically a marriage proposal."
Before Hwan Do could formulate a reply or even a defensive squeal, the water around him began to bubble. Then it boiled. Then it screeched, an unnatural, high-pitched wail.
"...Is that normal?" Hwan Do whispered, suddenly very nervous.
"No," Zhu Bao stated, already scrambling backward. "That's the Eel of Seething Woe. A spiritual pest."
The water erupted, geysering into the air. A colossal eel, glowing with crackling lightning qi and eyes burning with unblinking hatred, launched itself from the spring with the full, furious rage of a scorned ex.
"WHYYYYY DOES EVERYTHING IN THIS WORLD WANT TO KILL ME IN WATER!?" Hwan Do shrieked, flailing wildly backward as the eel twisted mid-air, its fanged maw gaping open. Desperate, he snatched the only weapon nearby: Zhu Bao's hot-pepper skewer. He hurled it. Straight into the eel's monstrous mouth.
For a silent beat, nothing. Then the eel's eyes crossed, smoke billowed from its nostrils, and it let out a high-pitched, piercing "HIIIIIIIEEEEK!" before thrashing backward into the water and vanishing with a thunderous splash.
Zhu Bao stared, dumbfounded, at the now-smoking spring. "...You fed it the Scorching Soul Pepper. The one sealed since the Dumpling Rebellion."
"Should I be proud or worried?" Hwan Do asked, his teeth still chattering.
"Both," Zhu Bao confirmed, a hint of awe in his voice. "But mostly proud."
Seo Rin appeared a moment later, sword already drawn. "What happened out here?! I felt a massive qi surge!"
"I defeated an eel with a kebab," Hwan Do announced solemnly, steam still curling off his singed eyebrows.
Her gaze flicked from the sizzling, smoking water to his pitifully half-melted ladle. Then, slowly, to his eyes. And then, she did something utterly unexpected. She laughed. Just one short, soft burst. But it was real. Truly real.
"You're ridiculous," she murmured, sliding her sword back into its sheath. "But... thanks."
"For saving the spring?" he ventured, a hopeful note in his voice.
"No," she said, a faint smile playing on her lips. "For not exploding this time."
A quiet moment stretched between them. Mist curled around their ankles. Then Zhu Bao cleared his throat with an utterly obnoxious snort. "If you two are quite finished with your hot-spring 'love confession,' I'd like to grill my mushrooms in peace."
Seo Rin whirled around immediately, face burning crimson. "We're leaving in ten minutes."
"Right after I finish cooking eel skewers!" Hwan Do announced cheerfully, pulling up a charred fin. "Revenge flavor!"
Meanwhile… Deep beneath the Black Viper Cult's Fortress, the Heavenly Butcher stood over a bubbling pot, humming a low, tuneless drone.
A cultist approached, dropping to one knee. "My Lord. The eel you sent was... defeated."
The Butcher's ladle froze mid-stir.
"...How?" he rumbled, his voice like grinding stone.
"With... a pepper skewer, my Lord."
He blinked. Slowly. Then again.
"Was it the Scorching Soul Pepper?"
"Yes, my Lord."
The Butcher let out a long, raspy sigh that seemed to echo in the dark chamber. "He's awakening faster than expected."
Behind him, a giant cauldron shimmered with an eerie, dark flame, casting dancing shadows.
"Soon," the Butcher murmured, his voice laced with chilling anticipation, "the Last Recipe will be complete. And when it is…"
He smiled, a terrible, hungry stretch of lips beneath his bone mask.
"I'll feed this world to the void... one bite at a time."