The day after winning the Great Debate, Jin Ye was enjoying what he called the "Threefold Morning Routine" — tea, a nap, and another tea — when Mu Shun burst into his courtyard.
"Senior Brother! The Demonic Sect has—"
"Lost again?" Jin Ye guessed.
"No! They've declared war on the Heavenly Jade Sect!"
Jin Ye blinked. "That's... not us."
Mu Shun's voice dropped to a whisper. "The Heavenly Jade Sect is accusing us of paying the Demonic Sect to attack them."
Jin Ye stared. "Why would we—"
Mu Shun produced a second scroll. "Because someone sent the Demonic Sect a bag of buns with a note saying 'For your next war.'"
Jin Ye sipped his tea. "I stand by the gesture."
The Summoning
By noon, emissaries from the Heavenly Jade Sect arrived at the Skyward Leaf Sect gates, accompanied by enough sword cultivators to start a small revolution.
Their leader, Elder Yao, had the permanent scowl of a man who had never laughed in his life.
"We demand an explanation for your obvious collusion with the Demonic Sect," he said.
Jin Ye leaned against the gate post. "You're welcome for the buns."
"That is not an explanation!"
"It's an apology snack."
Inside the Sect Hall
The "negotiations" lasted all of five minutes.
Elder Yao's accusations.
Jin Ye's counter-accusations about their ugly sect robes.
Mu Shun nervously suggesting they "clear this up peacefully."
And then Elder Ping (still muzzled) accidentally tripped a sect disciple, which Elder Yao interpreted as an assassination attempt.
The Heavenly Jade Sect stormed out.
By evening, they had joined forces with two allied sects and declared the formation of the Coalition of Righteousness — against both the Demonic Sect and the Skyward Leaf Sect.
[Heavenly System Log]
User: Jin Ye
Cultivation: Qi Condensation – 6th Stage
Achievement Unlocked: "Diplomatic Disaster"
Description: You have managed to antagonize multiple major sects without lifting a sword.
Bonus Reward: +1 Charisma (Sarcasm only)
War Preparations (Kind of)
Mu Shun was frantic. "Senior Brother! They're mobilizing troops! We have to rally the elders, activate the mountain array, prepare—"
Jin Ye waved a hand. "Relax. Let them come."
"You can't be serious—"
"Mu Shun. Do I look like a man who loses wars?"
"You look like a man who naps through them."
"Exactly."
The First Skirmish
Two days later, the Coalition's vanguard arrived — a thousand cultivators, banners high, sword Qi shaking the air.
They expected to find a fortified Skyward Leaf Sect bristling with defenses.
Instead, they found Jin Ye sitting in a wicker chair at the front gate, sipping tea, with a sign that read:
'War in Progress. Please Queue Politely.'
The first wave charged.
Jin Ye didn't move.
The moment they crossed the outer boundary, every single one of them collapsed into a deep, dreamless sleep.
Mu Shun's jaw dropped. "What... did you do?"
"I'm testing my new technique. 'Instant Nap Zone.'"
The second wave tried to attack from the air — they fell asleep mid-flight and landed in the trees like fruit.
The Coalition Retreats
By sunset, the Coalition had lost two-thirds of its army to "mysterious exhaustion" and withdrew to reconsider their life choices.
Elder Yao shouted from a distance, "This isn't over, Jin Ye!"
Jin Ye raised his teacup. "I'll be here."
The Demonic Sect Gets Involved
That night, a messenger from the Demonic Sect arrived.
"Our Sect Leader saw your little performance," the messenger said. "He's impressed. He proposes... a joint operation against the Coalition."
Mu Shun panicked. "Senior Brother, that would mean openly working with the Demonic Sect!"
Jin Ye nodded. "Good. Let's make it official."
[Heavenly System Log]
User: Jin Ye
New Faction Affiliation: ???
Warning: Current actions may destabilize the Eastern Continent.
Bonus Skill Unlocked: "War by Accident" – All political actions have a 30% chance to escalate into open conflict.