Chapter 240: Frieren's Offering
She practically stumbled back to the duke's palace, her head bowed, not wanting anyone to see the look of a pure and utter devastation on her face. Her mind was a chaotic mess, and her chest ached with a pain that was a sharp and a physical thing.
The image of him, so naturally, so casually, sharing his food with her, the way Serie had looked at him, with a look that was a world away from her usual cool and detached gaze... it all played over and over in her mind, and with each repetition, the pain in her heart grew sharper.
She didn't understand. She had seen it a thousand times before, in their own quiet and secluded forest. But to see it now... why did it hurt so much? The feeling... it was so overwhelming, it was as if she was drowning.
On pure instinct, she managed to find her way back to her room and, without even catching her breath, she threw open the door.
Frieren was still on the bed, her knees hugged to her chest. At the sound of the door, she looked up, and in her own, green and a vibrant, eyes, a flicker of an almost-numb anticipation was now replaced by a new and a dawning hope. But her own gaze then fell on her empty hands, and the light in her own eyes now faded, and she lowered her own head once more, her own chin now resting on her own knees, a small and a pitiful figure in the quiet of the room.
The sight of her was a bucket of a cold and a clear water on the flames of her own, now-burning, heart. A new and a different kind of a guilt now washed over her. She remembered now, her own promise from the morning. And the girl... she had actually listened to her, had not left the room at all.
"I'm... back," she said, her own voice now a hoarse and a raspy sound, tinged with a new and a different kind of an apology. She closed the door, as if to shut out the world, and the pain it now held.
"Mm," the other girl said, her own voice a small and a quiet sound, a sound of a pure and an unadulterated dejection.
"I-I'm so sorry," she said, her own guilt now an even greater thing. "I thought you would just go out on your own."
"But you told me not to," she said, her own voice a flat and a level sound.
"That's... no, it's my fault." She had just wanted him to herself, just for a little while. But it was too late for regrets now.
The room fell into a new and an even heavier silence.
After a long time, the other girl finally looked up, and it was as if she had only just noticed her own, now shattered, state. "Are you... crying again?" she asked, her own voice a soft and a cautious sound.
Her own words were a new and a fresh wave of a pure and an unadulterated pain, and a new and a fresh wave of a hot and a bitter tears now threatened to fall. "No," she said, and her own voice was now a bright and a cheerful sound, a sound that was a world away from the turmoil in her own heart. "Just... some sand in my eyes."
It was a pathetic excuse, a lie that even she herself did not believe.
"Did you... see them?" she asked.
She froze. "How did you know?"
"Your scent... it has their own, lingering, magic. And the only thing that could make you so sad... it would have to be them." She remembered her own, earlier words, about an opponent she could not possibly win against. And her own reaction... it was clear that she was talking about the two of them. Her own senses were not weak, just... different.
And at her own, now clear and a simple, deduction, she broke. She sank to the floor and buried her own face in her own hands, and her own, now choked and a muffled, sobs now filled the quiet of the room. "Yes," she said, her own voice now a small and a broken thing. "They... they are so close."
And the other girl... she was still confused. They were close, yes. They had been together for a thousand years. It was a normal thing. She did not understand why her own friend was so sad. "Teacher Rhodes and Lady Serie... they have always been together. For a very, very long time," she said, her own voice a simple statement of a fact. But her own words, they were a new and a different kind of a pain.
Yes. A long, long time. A time that she could never hope to bridge. And her own, now silent and a broken, tears now flowed even faster.
She looked at her, at her own now-sobbing form, and a new and an unfamiliar feeling of a helpless and a confused empathy now came to her. She got off the bed and, with a silent and a soft step, she came to her side and, with a hesitant and an almost-awkward gesture, she gently patted her on the head.
"Don't cry," she said, her own voice now a soft and a gentle sound. "To be hungry... that is the most painful thing."
Her own words, so simple, so pure... they were a new and a different kind of a comfort. A small and a watery laugh now escaped her own lips. "I'm so sorry, Frieren," she said, her own guilt now a new and a different thing. "I forgot your breakfast."
She just shook her own head and, with a new and a different kind of a curiosity, she reached out and touched a tear on her own cheek. "A human's tear," she murmured. "Is it because your own heart is hungry?"
She just looked at her, and did not know what to say.
"I don't really understand," she said, and her own voice was now a serious and a thoughtful sound. "But... I can give you this."
She reached into her own pocket and took out a small and a strange candy, a thing that was wrapped in a special kind of a leaf, and held it out to her. It was a delicacy from her own village, a thing that only the elves could eat. And it was her own, last one. She had been saving it.
She looked at the candy in her own palm, and at the pure and an innocent green of her own eyes, and the turmoil in her own heart now began to subside. She took it, the feel of the leaf a dry and a crinkly thing in her own hand.
"Thank you, Frieren," she said, her own voice still a little hoarse, but with a new and a different kind of a strength.
She did not understand. But her own, simple and a pure, concern... in that moment, it was a greater comfort than any words could ever be.
"Come," she said, and a new and a different kind of a smile now came to her own face. "Let's go and get you something to eat. Anything you want."
And her own, now tangled and a confusing, thoughts... she would just put them aside, for now.
(End of chapter)
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