[CUT TO: INT. PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE - DAY.] Principal Figgins sat hunched over his desk, calculator clicking away with rhythmic disapproval.
Will stepped in, confused. "But we just started rehearsals."
Figgins didn't look up. "My hands are tied, Schue. I need the auditorium. Alcoholics Anonymous wants to rent it out for their afternoon meetings. Lots of drunks in this town. They're paying me ten bucks a head."
Will frowned, leaning forward slightly. "If we show at regionals, Glee stays; if not, the bar's open on the auditorium."
Figgins paused, peering over his glasses. "What is it with you and this club? You've got only six kids—one of them's a cripple."
Will didn't flinch. "Then I guess you've got nothing to worry about."
Figgins sighed. "Fine."
Will grinned. "Yes!"
Figgins held up a finger. "But you're running detention for free to make it up to me."
"Deal," Will said quickly, already backing out the door with a triumphant gleam in his eye.
[CUT TO: INT. SHEETS N THINGS - DAY.]
Terri Schuester stood beside Howard Bamboo, attempting the dark art of folding a fitted sheet. Her hands worked swiftly while Howard stared helplessly.
"You put your hands in the corners like this. Okay?" Terri instructed.
Howard frowned. "I can't do it. I'm dyslexic. Maybe I should just stick to towels and washcloths."
Terri sighed dramatically. "Howard, if you can't fold a fitted sheet, you cannot work at Sheets N' Things."
The P.A. system crackled to life: "Associate to returns."
Terri pointed toward the front. "Go. Make sure they have a receipt."
Howard shuffled off just as Will walked in with a hopeful smile and a brown paper lunch bag.
"Someone looks beautiful today," Will said warmly.
"Hey," Terri replied, barely looking up.
"Hi," he added softly.
"You look very handsome," she said, forcing a smile.
"Thank you. I just thought I'd bring you roast beef on pumpernickel—your favorite."
Her smile wavered. "Aw. Oh, but does it have mayo?"
"Yeah," Will admitted.
Her expression soured. "Will, if my diabetes comes back, I can't get pregnant."
He hesitated. "I..."
"What is wrong with you?" she snapped.
Trying to change the subject, Will stepped forward. "I just wanted to tell you that I'm going to have to start working late for the next couple of months. I'm, uh, monitoring after-school detention."
"What?" Terri exclaimed.
Will explained, "I had to make a deal with Figgins so he wouldn't kill Glee Club."
Terri complained, "But Will, I'm on my feet four hours a day three times a week here. Now I have to go home, and I have to cook dinner for myself?"
Just then, Howard returned awkwardly holding a bundle of rumpled sheets.
Howard said, "This lady wants to return these sheets, but... something tells me we've got another bed wetter."
Terri snatched the sheets with an annoyed grunt. "Do you see what I have to deal with here? God, hasn't she ever heard of a diaper?"
She stormed off with Howard in tow.
Will, left standing alone in the store aisle, exhaled—only to spot a familiar figure nearby.
Sandy Ryerson stood chatting with a Sheets N' Things employee.
"Of course, towels have a thread count, Mister... Sheets N' Things," Sandy said smugly. "What do you do? I read catalogues. I know these things. Anything under a 400 thread count, and I could break out in impetigo. It's simple to understand."
The employee wandered off, confused. Will tried to sneak away unnoticed, but it was too late.
"William?" Sandy called.
Will froze. "Sandy? Hey."
Sandy said, "Well, hello. How are things? I hear you've taken over Glee Club."
Will offered a sheepish smile. "Yeah. I... hope you're not too upset."
Sandy chuckled dramatically. "Are you kidding? Getting out of that swirling eddy of despair—best thing that ever happened to me. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't easy at first. Being dismissed, and for what I was accused of? My long-distance girlfriend in Cleveland nearly broke up with me. Oh God, don't you love a good monkey? Took me weeks to get over my nervous breakdown."
"Did they put you on medication?" Will asked carefully.
Sandy said, "Better: medical marijuana. It's genius. I just tell my Dr. Feelgood I'm having trouble sleeping, and he gives me all of it I want. I'm finding the whole system quite lucrative."
Will blinked. "You're a drug dealer?"
Sandy grinned. "Oh, yeah... make five times more than when I was a teacher."
Will raised an eyebrow.
Sandy grinned proudly. "I keep some for myself, and then I take money baths in the rest."
"You want in?" Sandy offered.
[CUT TO: EXT. SHADY LOT - DAY.] Sandy handed Ken a packet of marijuana in exchange for a wad of cash.
[CUT TO: INT. SHEETS N THINGS - DAY.]
Sandy held up a plastic pouch labeled The Chronic Lady.
"Do my own packaging, and the first sample is free," Sandy said, slipping the pouch into Will's pocket.
"Sandy, no," Will protested.
Will raised an eyebrow. Sandy continued, "Sandy said, "Come on, you are the one who's coaching those tone-deaf acne factories. You're going to need it."
A Sheets N' Things employee returned, holding up a garish toilet cover.
Sandy cringed. "This looks like barf. Okay? I have to do everything myself."
He turned to Will with a sly smile. "Call me."
Sandy muttered as he stalked off, addressing the employee. "Come on. What's the matter with you? This is terrible."
[CUT TO: INT. SUE'S OFFICE - DAY.]
The walls were lined with trophies that gleamed with a mix of pride and delusion. Sue Sylvester dusted one of the larger ones with an alarming amount of intensity. The knock on the door didn't faze her.
Will peeked his head in. "Hey, Sue. Can I have a sec?"
Sue turned, giving a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. "Sure, buddy. Come on in."
[INTERCUT - EXT. SIDEWALK - DAY.]
Emma Pillsbury stepped right into a sticky wad of chewing gum. She let out a tiny horrified squeak and quickly sat down on the nearest bench, trying to assess the damage. Will walked up just in time.
"Hey, Emma, you got a second?" he asked, eyeing the gum. "What is that, gum?"
[BACK TO: INT. SUE'S OFFICE - DAY.]
Sue raised an eyebrow as she folded her arms. "So, you want to talk to my Cheerios about joining Glee Club?"
Will nodded. "Well, I need more kids—performers—and all the best ones are in the Cheerios, so I figured some of them might want to double up."
Sue scoffed. "Okay, so what you're doing right now is called blurring the lines. High school is a caste system. Kids fall into certain slots. Your jocks and your popular kids? Penthouse. The invisibles and the kids playing live-action out in the forest? Basement. And it's bad enough that Pillsbury is making my newest Cheerio be in Glee Club."
Will tilted his head. "And... where do the Glee kids lie?"
Sue didn't even hesitate. "Sub-basement."
[BACK TO: EXT. SIDEWALK - DAY.]
Will was crouched beside Emma, using a tissue to try and scrape the gum from her shoe.
"Sue's not wrong," Emma said delicately. "But I don't think anything is set in stone. I mean, you know, kids are going to do what they think is cool, which is not always who they are. You just need to find a way to get them out of their boxes."
Will looked up. "Well, how do I do that?"
Emma smiled gently. "They follow the leader. You know, if you can get a couple of the popular kids to sign up, the rest will fall right in line."
[CUT TO: EXT. FOOTBALL FIELD – DAY]
Will jogged alongside Ken Tanaka's golf cart as the football coach slowly rolled down the turf.
"I just want to talk to them," Will said, trying not to sound winded.
Ken glanced over at him. "I don't know, dude. I can't see any of my guys wanting to join Glee Club. Last month, they held down one of their teammates and shaved off his eyebrows just because he watched Grey's Anatomy."
Will gave a strained smile. "Look, all I'm looking for is an introduction."
Ken huffed. "Fine. But you've got to put a good word in for me with Emma."
[CUT TO: EXT. SIDEWALK – DAY]
Will knelt beside Emma, finally scraping the last of the stubborn gum off the bottom of her shoe.
"There you go, Cinderella," he said with a playful smile.
Emma beamed. "Thank you. I have trouble with things like that. The, um... the... the messy things."
"Yeah," Will said, still crouched beside her.
Emma tilted her head. "It's really nice how much you care about Glee. About the kids."
[CUT TO: INT. SUE'S OFFICE – DAY]
Sue leaned back in her chair, arms crossed. "If you really care about these kids, you'll leave well enough alone. Children like to know where they stand, so let your little Glee kids have their little club, but don't pretend that any of them are something they're not."
[CUT TO: INT. BOYS LOCKER ROOM – DAY]
The humid locker room was filled with the smell of sweat and Axe body spray. Ken stood near the front, arms folded.
"Circle up!" he barked. "Mr. Schuester is going to talk to you. If you don't listen, you do laps. You mouth off, you do laps. Got it? They're all yours, Will."
Will stepped forward, facing the scattered group of athletes.
"Thanks, Ken. Hey, guys, how you doing? Uh, I think I recognize some of you from Spanish class, but, uh, I'm here today to talk to you about something different: music. Glee Club needs guys."
Puck grinned. "I can sing."
Will lit up. "Really? That's fantastic."
"You wanna hear?" Puck offered.
"Yeah."
Puck strutted to the front of the locker room amid chuckles and applause from the team. Then, without hesitation, he let out a loud fart.
"Ohhh yeah," Puck said smugly.
Will winced. "I'm going to put the sign-up sheet at the door, so if anyone wants to sign up, please... Thank you."
Ken pointed. "Dismissed. Puck, in my office in five minutes."
Will looked over. "You been sleeping okay? Your eyes look a little bloodshot."
Ken shrugged. "I got allergies."
"Okay. Thanks a lot."
[CUT TO: INT. BOYS LOCKER ROOM – DAY]
The New Directions sign-up sheet was taped to the wall, mockingly adorned with three fake names: Gaylord Weiner, Butt Lunch, and Penis. Will stood there, staring at it, dismayed.
Will (V.O.): I honestly thought that was the end of the very brief fever dream that was "New Directions."
As he turned to leave, a sound stopped him—someone singing. Clear, honest, and raw. It was REO Speedwagon's "Can't Fight This Feeling." Will followed the sound through the rows of lockers and into the showers.
There, completely unaware he had an audience, Finn Hudson sang to himself, eyes closed, hands shampooing his hair like he was in a music video only he could see.
Will (V.O.): I suddenly realized why I had wanted to do this thing in the first place. It was seeing the gift in a kid that they didn't even know they had. It was pure talent. What I did then... was the blackest moment of my life.
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