My cheek rests on the cold wet ground. I slowly try to push myself up but the ache and pain in my arms begins to grow more as I try to move.
"Get up Lonnie." My father says in a low tone. I try to push myself up again but then I collapse. My hair spreading across the ground as it soaks up the rain. He uses his foot to push me over on to my back. "Get up." His voice is more stern this time.
"Alaric... aren't you being too harsh?" My mother says. She's holding Kaius in her arms. His head moving around to the sound of the rain hitting the ground around us. She has a worried look in her eyes as she reaches to try and grab me. My father moves her hand out of the way, stopping her from doing so.
"Go back inside."
"Alaric... you can't act like this is okay! She's only four."
"I was four when I started training."
"But you were a boy."
"What difference does that make?" My father turns back towards me and grabs me by my upper arm, pulling me back up from the ground. "Stand up."
"It makes so much of a difference!" She shouts.
"So... because she's a female- I should be nice to her?" My father's eyes narrow at my mother's. "This world doesn't care if she was a woman or not. If she's raised weak... do you think they will feel sorry for her when she lays on the ground crying to them... asking them to stop. No-"
My mother's eyes relax and she holds Kaius tighter.
"They wouldn't care if she was a female... She needs to be able to withstand."
"But-"
"If you have a problem with this then you can put Kaius back in his crib and you may leave."
"..." My mother stands at the door staring at my father in shock and sadness. She relaxes her face and turns away, closing the door behind her. My father's face relaxes and he turns towards me. I stand still in front of him. My legs wobbling a bit.
"Do it again. Pull yourself back up on the bar and hold yourself there." He motions.
Many hours of training that day went on. It started before the sunrise and ended after sunset. By then I was too tired to even eat. I lay in my bed painfully. I didn't want to do this anymore. I know it was only the beginning but this was all too painful. My small body wasn't able to keep up.
This went on for weeks. Dark circles started to grow under my eyes.
I stand still under the warm sun. I look down at my hands that are bruised and cut up. My father places a piece of wood in front of me. The wood was cut into a long cylinder. He hammers this piece of wood into the ground until it was sturdy enough. I look at him with tired eyes.
"This will be your next piece of training." He motions to the long wooden cylinder. He rests his finger at the top of the wood. "I want you to be able to jump up on the top and hold yourself up here for at least thirty seconds." He calmly says. I stare at him, confused by his words. He pulls up his sleeves and pushes himself up on top of the cylinder. His legs point up straight and he holds himself up on one hand. His head moves in my direction as his eyes bore into mine. My eyes widen and then relax. He jumps back down and fixes his shirt, pulling down his sleeve.
"Now do that." He motions. I stare back at the top of the wood. I grip onto it, trying to pull myself up but being able to balance myself up on one hand sounds difficult enough. Do I have to use one hand?
I went at this for hours. Hours turned into days. Days turned into weeks. My hands already started to form calluses. I've gotten so many splinters by now.
I let go of the wood and hold my hand, squeezing it a bit. A piece of wood sticks out my palm. I use my teeth and rip it out my hand. I flinch to the pain it caused me and begin wiping it against my leg. I stare back at the top of the wood and clenched my fist. I grab at it and pull myself up on top. My eyes widen when I realized I was holding my position. I was holding myself up on the wood with both of my hands. I slightly smile feeling proud that I did it, but my smile quickly faded as I felt myself fall backwards.
I fall flat on my back. A thud sound and a groan with gasping continues after. I fell so hard and perfectly on my back that I got completely winded.
For days, I continue to practice holding myself up in that position. I try many times to hold myself in that position for at least thirty seconds but I end up falling off before then. Even though I failed over and over again... I felt myself getting closer to that goal.
Eventually I got it. I felt good, being able to hold myself up in that position. I was able to do it for almost a minute. I smile up at my father, feeling proud of my accomplishment. That I completed one of his hard tasks. But staring at his eyes... the tone of his face... he didn't look as happy as I did. Actually it almost looked like he didn't care... like I didn't do enough.
I sit at the table eating the stew my mother made. She's across from me, hand feeding Kaius.
"Starting tomorrow... you won't be able to eat like this." My father calmly says. My mother's eyes widen as she looks at my father in anger.
"What do you mean by that?" She huffs.
"Exactly what I said." My father answers, not paying any mind to the facial expressions she was making.
"She needs food. How do you expect her to be able to do any of that bullshit you put on her if she doesn't eat."
"It's called discipline..."
"Discipline? It sounds like torture." She fumes. My father's face relaxes as he continues to eat.
"We aren't going to discuss this right now." He calmly replies.
"..." She turns her body away from him and continues to feet Kaius.
Night comes and I lay in my bed. The bed feels so soft and comfortable, I could almost cry. I never want to leave this spot... ever. My eyes begin to slowly close as I fall asleep but then they widen quickly when I hear a thud. I stare in the direction of my bedroom door, confused to what that noise was. I push myself off the bed and out of my room. I slowly turn towards the living room to see my mother on the floor, holding onto her cheek and my father standing in front of her. She looks up at me with wide eyes and I stare back at her.
"Go back to bed Lonnie." My father says in a stern voice with his back towards me. I stand still staring at my mother. She looks away. "Go. To. Bed." My father glares back at me. My eyes widen and I turn around, walking back into my room. My heart feels heavy as I worry about my mother. I crawl under my blanket and shove my face into the pillow.
The next morning comes and I am awoken before sunrise. I prepare myself to go outside. My mother sits in the living room with sleeping Kaius in her arms. There's a bruise on her cheek. I want to hug her and tell her not to worry about me but I felt like I shouldn't. I want her to know that I'm strong. I didn't want her worry for me to hurt her. My mindset then rooted there. I decided that I was going to get better and stronger... to prove to my mother that she didn't need to worry about me. That I was going to be a strong woman. The crybaby I was before was gone. For my mother... the woman who loved me. I will become stronger.
TO BE CONTINUED AUGUST 19TH!