Tara and Eli had spent a full day enjoying each other, with their upgraded bodies and strong connection, they both were unable to stop themselves at how amazing it felt. When they finally stopped and took one last soak in the hot spring, Tara noticed that she had a ton of messages. Going through them, she was shocked and upset at what had happened, for a moment she debated not telling Eli, but she knew he would want to know so she filled him in, she didn't share the specifics of the ones from Stevens calling Audrey a psycho.
His first response was anger, then he relaxed and felt guilt, a lot of guilt, he blamed himself for not being there to protect her. Then he got a message from her, she wanted to talk, so he informed Tara that they would catch up to them to check in, maybe just when she was on watch so they could talk alone. He put his mask on and gave Tara instructions on how to level her soul and told her to work on it here at the hot spring. He would be back soon and they would head for the training area together.
He arrived at their camp quickly, he had moved full speed until he was close enough for the noise from that to wake them, then walked and got there when it was Bethany's watch. He showed himself to her and motioned for her to be quiet and follow him a bit away from the camp. Removing his mask he asked her for her side of the story, she relayed what had happened with a tear rolling down her face. He removed his cloak, leaving him in just his ape underwear and hugged her, he knew it might have been a little inappropriate, but she needed a distraction.
"What do you think about what happened?" He asked.
"I think she didn't need to do it, she acted like it didn't affect her, and at first I believed her but while we were running I saw her crying and I could smell that she had wet herself. Now I just feel bad for her, I think she just reacted, worried about us getting hurt since you weren't here. I don't think she needs to be punished or anything but I do think she needs to talk to you. If anyone is going to make her feel ok about this it's a father figure." Bethany explained.
"Ok, thank you, please continue to support her, I'm sure she feels lost in all this, trying to find her identity." Eli said then hugged her again, this time longer, and ended it with a kiss on her forehead. She blushed and walked back to the camp. Eli waited until Bethany and Audrey switched places, and gave it a few minutes, staying a long distance off so she wouldn't notice him.
"You wanted to talk," He whispered while walking close enough to be within view, he still did not have his mask or his cloak on. He knew he looked ridiculous but this conversation needed to happen with Eli, not with Lord Ash.
"Yes, can we walk away a bit so we don't wake the others?"
"Sure" he said as they walked far enough away that they wouldn't be heard but not so far that he wouldn't be able to sense any issues.
"What's on your mind?" he asked when they got to a good spot.
"I killed someone," she said, with fresh tears in her eyes and puffy eyes from a lot of crying.
"I know," Eli said softly, and knelt down to hug her. She was short, even for her age and with his last body level-up he was just over 6 foot 5 now. She cried and cried, the tears running down his back. Eli thought to himself that these tears are the heaviest thing he has ever had on his back.
"I'm sorry, I just reacted, I don't know if you're angry or if you're proud or even which one I want you to be," She said and started rambling just letting her feelings out. "It makes me sick to think about it but I also felt powerful, am I a murderer now? I don't want to be some crazed killer but I want to be able to kill to save one of us. How do I know when it's right to kill? It was so easy and I'm scared that it might be even easier next time."
"Hush now," Eli said as he pulled her into another hug. "I know you like to act mature, but real maturity is not reducing an act to good or bad. Only you can determine if what you did was good or bad. Being an adult means accepting that everything has a grey area. Life in this new world is violent and cruel, and many will accept that as the norm and use it to justify what they already wanted to do in the first place. Others are just scared and acting in a way that makes them feel in control." Eli said then took a long breath as he let her mind catch up.
"I guess what I can tell you is that no one has it figured out, everyone is just doing the best they can." He said with a hopeful look on his face.
"Can you give me a hint, something that will help me figure all this out?"
"I've fought in wars, I've killed, before and after the world ended. The best advice I can give is that when making a choice to kill, make that choice about you, not about someone making you mad or scared."
"That sounds like another way to justify making any choice," Audrey said, crossing her arms in frustration.
"Things are complicated, but at the end of the day, do you want to be the person who killed to save someone, or the person who killed because they got angry or insecure."
"This is a lot to think about, I need some time. Thank you. Can I get one more hug before you go?" She asked. Eli held her and whispered into her ear. "No matter what happens, no matter how bad anything gets, I will never stop caring about you. You belong here with us."
Another tear rolled down her face as she stood tall and proud thinking about his words.
"Now," Eli said, "I'll keep watch, you go clean yourself up, I expect you to take pride in yourself being one of us, and you should be clean."
She blushed bright red and put her cloak on, pulled the hood up, and disappeared. Eli could tell she was walking away to a stream a bit further away from the camp. After a few minutes, Cory walked out from behind a tree with a tear in his eye, he walked right up to Eli. He placed his hand on his shoulder and said, "you are a good man" and walked away back to camp. Eli had not spoken to him much but he guessed that he had been close in case he was up to no good. This made him smile, that despite not really fitting in, he was still looking out for the others.
Eli sensed something up with Bethany and got a bit closer to camp, something was off about her magic, it was familiar but he didn't know why. Despite the total invasion of privacy, he focused his senses on her and studied her magic. It was hot and moving quickly and while trying to figure out why, he heard a moan from her tent and his magic sense recoiled as he realized what she was doing. He thought that maybe talking to her and hugging her in his underwear might not have been something she was ready for. Putting the cloak and mask back on, he waited until Audrey had returned and started back to Tara.
When he got back, she was sitting beside the hot spring in deep focus, dripping with sweat and with a scrunched up expression on her face. He could sense her trying to do what he instructed and having a hard time with it so he stopped her and a burst of magic came out of her. Giving her time to recover, Eli offered his help, he could assist in compressing her magic just a little and it should be enough to get her over the edge. The worry was that if he helped too much it could cause her some serious damage, and he was pretty sure her soul wouldn't allow him to enter unless she had full trust in him.
Despite his warnings and attempt at caution, Tara really wanted this so when she started up again, she basically sucked him in, magically speaking. He was only doing a little at first but after a while, she mentally tugged on him to do more, so he went just a little bit further. At first it didn't seem like it was going to explode like he did, and it turned out that she didn't need to. With his help she was able to compress her magic enough for her soul to level just from it adjusting to the new denser magic inside her.
"Well," Tara said, a bit surprised it was over, "that was a lot easier than you made it sound."
"Yeah, I'm not sure why mine was so much more difficult."
"You do like to do things the hard way," she said, smirking at him.
"So, I'm not sure you can train your will, it's more like every time you struggle with pain pressure or fight near death it has the opportunity to grow. Some people can endure torture until it kills them without saying a word, and some people speak as soon as it starts. With this new world, it seems 'will' can keep you fighting when your body is damaged or can make your magic do impressive things by pushing your will into the world." Eli explained, as he had black lightning around his left hand and his right hand was in a fist growing so dense it was affecting the air around it.
"So, what's the plan?"
"We head down to the large volcano, to the area of that king type monster."
"And?"
"And we push your limits and see how much will you can muster. Hopefully you are healed by the time the others join us."
"How much injury should I prepare myself for?"
"True 'Will' means that at any moment, at any level of injury, you can keep going, forcing reality to bend to keep you alive and kicking."
"So… a lot…" Tara said, with more hesitation than she realized she felt.
"You don't have to, I'm sure one of the others would be willing to push themselves through this, perhaps I could ask Bethany first," Eli said jokingly, while pretending to tap his chin in thought.
"Oh, is that how it is?" she asked playfully, "Don't think you can replace me so easily."
"I'm only teasing," Eli said, as he took the mask off to kiss her.
"Oh no, why would you want to kiss me when you have Bethany around?" Tara asked in a playful tone, trying to push him away and failing.
"Don't tempt me woman," he said, as he overpowered her and picked her up and kissed her. "Now let's go." He said while she was giggling at him.
Eli put his mask back on and took off in a sprint, he knew she was joking around because she had real doubts about herself. So he didn't see the harm in enjoying the joke with her. She was about to endure massive amounts of pain and suffering. It will make her stronger, but he was afraid that it might make her a bit colder as a person. He would ask her again to make sure she wanted this when they got there.