Chapter 12: The Royal Bathhouse Debacle
The sun in Arcania's eastern sky glistened like molten opal, sending its radiant glow over the sprawling peaks of the Dragon-Vampire Palace. Atop the eastern tower, doves cooed lazily, the breeze rustled the golden-leafed trees, and inside the inner courtyard...
Chaos. Pure, unfiltered, splashing chaos.
Phoenix Bennith Nightshade, age not-quite-two, had escaped again.
The Royal Bathhouse, a sacred and serene domain meant for quiet reflection, soul purification, and lavender-scented relaxation, had become the scene of a glorious aquatic uprising.
"Phooeeenix!" cried Lyra, frantically paddling after her baby brother as he zoomed across the steaming bathwater atop a miniature waveboard made of hardened soap bubbles.
He cackled. "You can't catch me! I'm the Bathtime Baron!"
Cassiel tried to intercept from the left, but Phoenix ducked under a floating sponge fortress he'd built ten minutes prior.
"Tactical bath sponge defense! Activate!"
The floating fortress exploded in bubbles.
Thalassa, who should've been the best at controlling water, flailed after him.
"I trained dolphins to perform synchronized ballet! Why can't I catch one tiny brother?!"
"He's using reverse splash momentum!" yelled Vanya from her perch on the shampoo shelf, furiously scribbling notes. "He's learned propulsion physics!"
---
Earlier that morning, Rose had made the fateful decree:
"Today, all of you—yes, all nine of you—will take Phoenix for a peaceful bath. I want him clean, calm, and not launching fireballs out of the bath oil again."
Rudeus had raised a brow. "Do you want the palace to survive?"
Rose only smiled. "It'll build character."
---
Now, character was being built through steam, suds, and slippery shenanigans.
Elowen conjured a mermaid illusion to distract him. Phoenix simply blinked at it.
"Nice try, El. But that's just a glamoured fish with a wig."
"He's adapting," Elowen whispered. "The illusions... don't work anymore."
Saphira attempted diplomacy: "Phoenix, sweet one, how about you come here and I'll give you my golden ducky?"
He blinked. "No."
He then unleashed his secret weapon.
A bubble storm.
---
The bathhouse exploded in frothy chaos.
Phoenix stood atop the largest soap bubble, arms spread like a tiny emperor, as enchanted bubbles zoomed past like comets. One bubble engulfed Athena's hair, twisting it into a soap sculpture of a hydra.
Another zipped into Isolde, zapping her just enough to shriek.
"I'm covered in... pink lemon scent! This is an outrage!"
"You look adorable," Lyra said, trying not to laugh.
---
In the upper floors of the palace, Rose sipped her blood-infused tea and peeked at the crystal monitor.
"He's now riding the soap bubble like it's a skyship."
Rudeus grunted. "He gets that from you."
---
Down in the bathhouse, Solara summoned a dream-mist cloud.
"Sleep, little phoenix... sleep..."
It would've worked. Would've. If Lyra hadn't crashed into the mist cloud, sneezing glitter into everyone's eyes.
"I can't see! I'm blind with sparkles!"
Cassiel shouted, "Execute Operation Rubber Ducky!"
Nine magical duckies were summoned.
Phoenix laughed with pure glee.
"DUCKIE ARMY, ATTACK!"
The duckies squeaked with vengeance, bouncing through the steam like rubbery cannonballs. Vanya went down under three.
"They're enchanted with ricochet magic! Retreat!"
Phoenix, still surfing, zoomed toward the back wall.
"Final move: Bubble Tornado!"
He spun so fast, the bathwater spiraled into a cyclone.
---
The blast echoed.
When the storm finally calmed, all nine sisters were slumped in various corners of the bathhouse.
The steam cleared to reveal a now-sparkling-clean Phoenix in the middle of the pool, splashing his feet.
"I'm done now. Can I have snacks?"
Athena groaned. "Yes. But no cookies this time."
He looked disappointed. "Macarons?"
"...fine."
---
An hour later, the palace medics were treating bubble-related trauma.
Cassiel had a soap-eye infection.
Elowen had glitter glittering in unnatural places.
Saphira declared a full trade ban on magical duckies.
Rose, however, simply smiled as she picked up her son and cradled him in a towel that smelled like lavender dreams.
"You gave your sisters a lot of trouble, little flame."
"But I clean now!" Phoenix beamed.
She kissed his damp forehead. "Yes. You are. And you've declared yourself Bath Baron."
"Next," he whispered dramatically, "I shall conquer... bedtime."
Rose froze.
"Rudeus," she said. "Alert the palace. Bedtime is in one hour. We may not survive."