After the incident with the priest (Kyra) I don't remember too much, just a lot of hushed and comforting tones. Nor do I remember much of the travelling, I rarely do. I normally sit on the back of Eron's horse and stare off into space.
Sometimes I focus on the land that was around us; it was so similar yet vastly different to what I was used to. The green fields stretching for miles with small villages splattered across the landscape like blood...
No! I can't think about that, mustn't think about that. If I do I retreat into myself. I dont want to retreat into myself, I don't want to see those inky black spots and deep red crimson that has seeped into my being.
The only plus side of being the unable to remember the travelling is that i eventually forget the nightmares of the night before.
It was like being washed every day. Every day, I wake up sweating screaming and terrified, instinctively scared, then I wash my mind clean while we travel before we stop and sleep. Then I repeat the same cycle. Wake up, wash, sleep, wake up, wash sleep.
All the travel blurring together until Eron's voice pulled me from my self-induced stupor.
"Kaisen we are going to be in the Holy capital soon," she says, her voice that same soothing lull as always. I nod shallowly in response. She continued in her usual cheery and careful tone, "It's going to be loud."
I nod again, not that she can see it since I'm on the back of her horse.
"You know that some people won't be appreciative of your attitude, right runt?" this was the swordsman who spoke, the scary and aggressive man they called Zero. His voice was like razorblades digging into my ears, low and edged. I heard the familiar slapping sound that usually followed any time Zero spoke to me.
"I apologise for my friend," the familiar soft voice of the hulking man known as lyric apologised needlessly for Zero's rudeness again. Again, I nod that small nod.
For some reason my body had grown sluggish and almost corpselike in complexion and nature over the course of our journey.
I was pale, skinny and my eyes had hollowed out slightly, i had the energy level of a depressed baby. I wanted no unnecessary movement and or effort. More like a procrastinating teenager than a depressed baby I suppose.
After all that tiring small talk and (slapping?) the rest of the journey was quiet and almost uneventful.
Aaron had decided to set up base camp about an hour away from the city.
"Why have we stopped? No point stopping here," Zero grumbled. Aaron shot him a warning look, "Kyra can only enter in times of great disparity like when she is in danger, when someone she is escorting needs healing and or at certain religious times and unfortunately, we have missed those certain times unless you wish to walk in at sundown when all the inns are taken and sleep on the streets." Aaron replied coldly. Zero grumbled about that wanting to know whether we could leave Kyra or not, Lyric slapped him, the other laughed or chuckled, especially Kyra. Eron looked at me her eyes still glinting pleasantly as she turned to me, "come on you must find that funny Kaisen, the big scary swordsman getting slapped." she said still chuckling lightly.
And so, I sat there feeling strangely empty despite being surrounded by all these laughing adults, I sat and stared as i slowly started to feel more isolated.