The training was finally over.
It had been a day that felt like torture.
My body and mind wished it had all been a dream, but I was too exhausted to even deny reality.
I felt like I was going to collapse on my way to my room.
And finally… I was standing in front of my door.
The lights were on.
I could see the glow spilling out from under the door into the corridor.
I slowly turned the key and stepped inside.
As I closed the door behind me, something inside me broke.
My back still ached from the day's training.
I dropped onto the bed like dead weight and rubbed my face with both hands.
Everyone treats me like an enemy... no—worse than an enemy.
I'm a prisoner here.
Someone whose will they want to break. A tool. Nothing more.
A heavy silence wrapped around me.
Maybe that silence was the cruelest part of this world.
I stared at the empty walls.
There was nothing in this room that belonged to me.
Not the desk, not the bed, not even the air I breathed.
Not even myself.
I had no place of my own.
The only trace of my existence was a speck of dust on the floor—and even that, it felt like I had stained.
That's when I realized something:
Loneliness doesn't begin with silence.
It begins with not belonging anywhere.
Like someone erased me from the world and left behind only my image.
Then… a knock at the door.
Elara, Miyu, and Seraphina stepped in. I wasn't expecting them.
They weren't smiling, but there was a genuine curiosity in their faces.
Miyu was her usual overly energetic self.
She picked up a cushion, threw it to the ground without even looking, and sat cross-legged on it.
Back when the king introduced us, she seemed shy.
I guess when she trusts someone, the real Miyu starts to show.
"You're still alive, huh?" she said with a cheeky grin.
Inside, I thought,
I don't even know if my life means anything. I wish I weren't alive at all.
But I just nodded.
Elara walked over and knelt beside me.
"Do you have any wounds?" she asked softly.
Her fingers gently brushed my arm, and a strange warmth spread through me.
"How did these happen? Is your training that hard?"
Her voice was quiet, but there was reproach in her eyes—as if she blamed herself too.
Then she began to heal me with a soft green light.
"It's nothing," I said. "Once we set off on our journey, I'll have worse."
I paused for a moment.
That was the first time I'd realized—I would go on a journey someday.
I took a deep breath and added,
"If I get used to pain now, it'll help me later."
"You still shouldn't push yourself so hard. Your body isn't used to this kind of damage."
There was real worry in her expression.
"I don't want you to get hurt."
I don't want you to get hurt...
That one sentence made the entire day of suffering feel almost worth it.
Hearing it from Elara… shocked me.
"Thank you," I said. "I didn't expect you to care this much."
Elara was about to speak again, but Miyu jumped in.
"Of course we care! You're our hero!"
Elara let out a long breath, then gently continued:
"He came here to be a hero, yes… but above all, he's human.
Just like us.
We can't keep pressing him into the role of a savior every second."
I froze.
I didn't know what to say.
For the first time in forever, it felt like someone understood me.
A slight noise broke the warmth in the air.
Seraphina turned away, eyes fixed on the wall.
She looked like she wanted to say something, but no matter how long I waited, she stayed silent.
These kinds of things must've been hard for her.
But she was there.
And that alone meant something.
She always kept her distance from us.
When the king first introduced me to them, I don't think I even spoke a word to any of them.
And yet now...
It felt like I'd known them for a very long time.
They were starting to feel like a family.
But... my family... why can't I remember them?
I was angry at myself.
What had I become?
Why had I grown so desperate for the fake smiles of this fake world?
Maybe…
Just maybe, for a moment, I wanted to feel like someone who wasn't hated.
And they—
They gave me that.
We didn't talk much through the night.
But the silence in the room was different from the silence at the camp.
This one… felt peaceful.
For the first time, I didn't feel alone.
And that terrified me.
As I strapped on my sword the next morning, I looked into the mirror.
My golden eyes still shimmered.
Sometimes, they don't feel like mine.
Sometimes, the person I see in the mirror looks like a stranger.
Someone strong—
But inside, I'm crumbling.
Does everyone feel this way?
Or is it just me, trapped in a body that doesn't belong to me?
My eyes...
They felt like remnants of another life.
Of another warrior.
I'd only borrowed them.
And someday, I'd have to give them back.
On my way to the training grounds, I saw her.
Luxanna.
Dressed in pure white, standing at the edge of the stone path.
Her eyes met mine for a moment.
This time, I didn't look away.
I kept walking at the same pace.
"Caelum, right?" she said.
Her voice was softer than I expected.
I nodded.
She began walking beside me.
"You're different from when you first arrived. Now you seem more…"
She paused.
"...closed off."
"Why do you think that is?" I said, a bitter smile on my lips.
"I've started a life filled with torture.
Feels like I'm just living through the trailer of this story.
The real pain is yet to come.
Whoever's writing this tale must be a sadist.
Oh, and people in the palace—when they look at me, they look disgusted.
Most of them don't even look at me at all."
I stopped for a moment.
Why was I opening up to her?
Why did I feel so close to someone I barely knew?
"Some don't look because they're afraid," she said.
"And others… because they feel guilty."
I turned to her.
Her eyes were serious.
"And you? Which one are you?"
"I don't know yet," she whispered.
Then she looked away.
"But unlike them… I choose to look."
A short silence followed.
We kept walking.
Our footsteps echoed in rhythm on the stone path.
It felt strange to have her beside me.
Strange… but right.
I didn't know her.
She didn't know me.
But somehow, in a world where everyone had turned their backs on me,
Her presence… lifted the weight from my chest, if only a little.
Maybe that was the dangerous part of this feeling—
Because once you start trusting someone,
You also give them the power to break you where it hurts the most.
And yet...
A voice inside whispered:
"Just a little further. Just a little more belief. Maybe this time... you won't break."
For the first time, in this cursed place—
A small flicker of hope stirred inside me.
A tiny spark lit up within me.
Maybe...
Maybe it could warm me before it burned me.
Maybe it could warm me...
before it burned me.
But I know...
Every spark is either a sign of fire—
or the last ember of ash.
And I still don't know which one I'll become.