Her second sister, Xiaoying, laughed and said, "That's the man's problem. How long is your man?" Xiaolian, not stupid, was quite shrewd and quickly responded, saying "over ten minutes." Xiaoying said that was pretty normal. ... They paused for a moment, and Wang Dasheng went out to find food. Xiaolian pulled a small quilt over her jade-like body. Suddenly, she thought of the young man, Chen Chu. Her second sister had said that a man's most capable years are when he's a teenager, seventeen or eighteen, like a newborn calf. His thing was incredibly hard, and could poke a hole in a brick wall. Xiaolian didn't believe it could break through a brick wall, but at least it gave her a good, satisfying feeling. And when Chen Chu came to get some wine, he didn't smell of sweat at all, and his big, white neck was spotless. Xiaolian couldn't help but quietly put her hand between her legs, feeling it through the quilt, imagining Chen Chu's appearance. She couldn't help but feel something. ... Chen Chu hadn't gone far when he saw Wang Dasheng returning, carrying a hoe. He was genuinely worried that Xiaolian would tell others about what had just happened. He hid in the back window of the house, feeling a bit guilty, and eavesdropped. Although he wasn't tall and a bit thin, Old Man Zhang had taught him two sets of boxing techniques, so his moves were quite nimble. He landed without making much noise, and since it was getting dark, it was hard for anyone to see him hiding there. He heard everything that went on in the house, including the sounds of the two people having sex, which made his penis hard. Chen Chu wanted to see what they were like, especially to see Xiaolian's body without her white stockings. He was anxious, like an ant on a hot pan, and he turned around several times but couldn't find a spot. Suddenly, he saw a gap above the curtains. It wasn't properly covered. Chen Chu was already familiar with spying on Liu Cui peeing through the window. Now he climbed up the window and looked inside. But when they were done, he saw Xiaolian lying alone on the kang, revealing her white legs and shoulders.
"Hmm? Not right?" Chen Chu wanted to touch the exposed part of Xiaolian, but he saw that the part of Xiaolian covered by the quilt was moving.
Listening carefully, he could hear some sounds, and Xiaolian would occasionally raise her chin, as if she was enjoying herself. This reminded him of Liu Cui in the restroom during the day.
"Is Xiaolian also digging?" Chen Chu's head buzzed, and his lower body became hard again.
In the summer, the windows are all screened, and the sound came out intermittently. It was a little unclear at first, but then the two words sounded like Chen Chu. Chen Chu hurriedly listened carefully. Although Xiaolian's moans were very suppressed, they still sounded like Chen Chu... Wasn't she calling him? At this time, the door of the inner room slammed. Wang Dasheng came in with a bowl of rice. Chen Chu immediately jumped out of the window and ran away with the wine jug. My mind is in a mess now. I have to tell Old Man Zhang what I saw. Ask him properly.
"You bastard! It takes you so long to get a drink! Damn it!"
As soon as Chen Chu came back, Old Man Zhang started scolding him.
"Old man, if you think it's too slow, just pour yourself some wine. I'm not willing to serve you!" Chen Chu handed over the wine jug.
The old man grabbed it, unscrewed the black bottle cap, and took a big sip directly from the plastic wine jug. He seemed to be enjoying it very much, and Chen Chu grinned at the sight.
"That damn Wang Xiaoyan, how much water did he add to this wine!" Old man Zhang cursed and started drinking again.
Wang Xiaoyan is Wang Dasheng's father. He is very stingy, so his nickname is Wang Xiaoyan.
"You little jerk, let me ask you, you've been drinking for so long, have you fallen for Old Wang's wife? That girl has a round butt, but it's not big enough, so she'll definitely give birth to a girl. Also, that girl has willow-shaped eyebrows, with the ends drooping down. She'll definitely be cheating on her man in the future..."
As Old Man Zhang spoke, he took another sip of wine and sipped it. Chen Chu heard this and moved closer.
"Old man, how do you know? Well, tell me about it."
"Tsk!" Old man Zhang rolled his eyes at him.
"You kid, you're a complete idiot. I taught you all those things, but you didn't learn them. When I told you about women, you got excited. You're so damn like me. Why don't you just be my godson?"
"You speak first!" Chen Chu looked at him eagerly.
Old man Zhang wanted to adopt him as his godson more than once. After saying it so many times, he got used to it.
"Let me tell you, women are virgins. Look at her eyebrows. I'm telling you, Xiaolian is definitely cheating on her husband. Do you believe it?"
"Old man, can you tell what a person looks like from the shape of his eyebrows?" Chen Chu didn't believe it.
"If I go to steal Xiaolian, do you think I can get her?" Chen Chu asked again.
"You steal? You can't!"
"Why can't I? I just climbed up her window and saw Xiaolian covering her crotch with her hands, rubbing it and whispering my name!"
"Pooh!" Old man Zhang spat out a mouthful of wine and started coughing.
"You fucking bastard, could you please stop saying that when I'm drinking! That Xiaolian is so tactless, she doesn't call me by my name, but calls me by your... cough cough..."
After Old Man Zhang finished coughing, Chen Chu asked again.
"Old man, do women also produce something? Today I spied Aunt Liu Cui peeing. She was lying in the toilet, touching her lower body, digging in, and then rubbing it, and then water came out. The water was very sticky. What do you think it was?"
"Don't brag, kid! Liu Cui is such a good woman. Can she take off all her clothes and let you see her private parts? And can she even touch her private parts right in front of you?"
Chen Chu recounted what had happened over the past few days. Finally, he said, "Because they all went to the circus today, Aunt Liu Cui thought no one was around, so she stole it. I also saw Pan Feng and Xu Guozhong from our village together..." Old Man Zhang started cursing.
"That damn Xu Guozhong, he's pretending to be a decent person, always causing trouble for me and asking me to move. Now, if he acts like a fool again, I'll make this known to the whole village. I'll see if he can still be the deputy village chief."
Old man Zhang took another sip of wine, patted Chen Chu on the head and said, "Good boy, you did a good job. Come, I will show you a set of drunken boxing, just watch carefully..." Chen Chu covered his eyes and yelled.
"No, no, I won't watch it. If you teach me how to steal Xiaolian, I'll watch it. If you don't teach me how to steal a woman, I won't watch it!"
Old man Zhang was happy. He had drunk quite a bit of wine and started talking nonsense again.
"I used to not teach anyone boxing no matter how much money they offered me, but now I'm desperate enough to teach them boxing, and I even have to pay them to teach me how to steal women. Haha, what kind of world is this?"
"Okay, boy, if you can learn my Drunken Eight Immortals technique today, I will teach you how to steal women. I guarantee you'll be able to sleep with Xiaolian."
"Okay, okay!" Chen Chu was so excited when he heard that he could sleep with Xiaolian. Forget about learning how to play the Drunken Eight Immortals. He would even give his father a kick in the ass.
But it was certain that he would be beaten up after the kick. Old man Zhang also started beating him.
"Lü Dongbin, drunk, lifts a pot with tremendous force; Cao Guojiu, the immortal, toasts and grabs his throat; Zhang Guolao, drunkenly, throws his cup and kicks repeatedly; Tieguai Li spins his elbows and knees to hit drunk Huanzhen; Hanzhong Li, drunkenly, hugs the pot and hits his head; Lan Caihe, with a single toast, breaks his waist! Han Xiangzi, drunkenly, grabs the wrist and hits the chest while playing the flute; He Xiangu, drunkenly, dances with her hips and offers wine...
"Originally a folk custom, the Drunken Eight Immortals possess a strong practical application. Their strength lies in their ability to blend boxing techniques with the appearance of drunkenness, seemingly intoxicated but not truly drunk. Their intoxicated appearance and intoxicated spirit are used to confuse the opponent. Their motto is 'boxing is essentially non-existent, intention is essentially intentional; the true intention lies in the absence of boxing.' They achieve the goal of concealing their techniques within drunkenness. Their techniques appear drunken, their forms intoxicated, their minds drunken, their steps drunken, their hearts unintoxicated. The Drunken Eight Immortals' fighting style requires erratic movements, their bodies swerving from side to side, their footwork swaying here and there. Their boxing techniques combine firmness and flexibility, their agility and agility like that of an ape, and their ability to defeat the opponent with lightning speed. They must defend with a false defense, evade attacks, seize openings, and strike from one direction..."
As Old Man Zhang explained, he first performed the moves quickly, then slowed down. He explained each key move in great detail. As he performed the moves, Chen Chu watched closely beside him. Old Man Zhang sighed. I wonder if this kid has mastered the technique. Is it a blessing or a curse for women? Because Chen Chu had already imitated him and was doing it quite well. Using the bait of stealing someone's wife, Old Man Zhang began to give instructions again.
"Fight me hard, train me hard. Only when you've trained well can you steal someone else's wife. Even if someone blocks your door and you can't escape, you have to beat them. Otherwise, you'll embarrass me."
... From dusk until after eleven, more than four hours had passed. This seemingly simple Drunken Eight Immortals move was basically perfect. Chen Chu's arms and legs ached from exhaustion.
"Old man, I've practiced enough. Tell me how to steal. Also, what's that thing that flows from a woman's vagina? You still haven't told me what it is?"
Old man Zhang smiled.
"Don't underestimate these simple moves, you little brat. It takes at least eight to ten years of practice to master them. But I, an old man, won't break my promise. Let me tell you a trick for dealing with women."
Chen Chu was feeling extremely sore all over just now, but when he heard this, his eyes suddenly lit up.
"What? Tell me now!"
Old Man Zhang looked around, then lowered his voice and said, "There are several types of women. Some are naturally sloppy, and some are born with mysophobia. Didn't you say that Xiaolian likes to wear white stockings? Then she is the type with mysophobia..." Chen Chu interrupted and asked, "What is mysophobia?"
"Idiot! Where have you been studying? You don't even know about mysophobia? Mysophobia means a clean ass. Get it!?"
Chen Chu nodded. Old Man Zhang then spoke again.
"I think Xiaolian's butt must be very clean. We all wipe it with newspaper after going to the toilet, but Xiaolian has to use paper towels to wipe it, and then she has to wash it. Do you understand? So, you should also keep me clean at ordinary times. Rural men don't care about this, but you can't. Buy a bottle of perfume and spray it on. Xiaolian will definitely like it..."