Qin Yanping cried bitterly and unrestrainedly, her face streaked with tears, as if she were weeping out all the panic and depression she had endured over the past eleven years.
Fang Yuan understood Qin Yanping's feelings. In a fit of passion, she had killed her own cousin, and she was only six at the time! Such a horrific event would be unbearable for any six-year-old girl. This incident must have cast a heavy shadow over Qin Yanping's young heart, causing psychological distress and psychological problems. No wonder she was so dependent on others, so timid, and so afraid of independence.
Fang Yuan didn't interrupt Qin Yanping, allowing her to vent freely. She had kept this secret for eleven years, and the shadow of her heart had haunted her for eleven years. For those eleven years, Wanwan had been like a ghost clinging to her, ready to jump out and torment her at any moment.
Qin Yanping continued, "As I was pushing Wanwan, I faintly heard a few meows, but I didn't pay much attention at the time. After Wanwan rolled down the stairs, I noticed a black cat had appeared at the front door. It had blue eyes and stood there staring at me strangely. Its expression was terrifying, and I was terrified and burst into tears. Mom ran out of the kitchen and saw Wanwan lying in a pool of blood. She panicked, leaving me alone, picked him up, and rushed to the hospital. But Wanwan couldn't be saved; he died. My family asked me what had happened, and I lied, saying Wanwan had accidentally fallen down the stairs while playing. Seeing how frightened I was, they didn't ask any more questions. While I was lying, the black cat didn't leave, hissing from time to time as if to refute me. I knew the black cat had seen everything, understood everything, and was telling me the truth. But no one could understand its language, and Dad, upset, kicked it away.
"Ever since then, I've been sleepwalking." My parents told me that when I sleepwalked, I took out all my toys and snacks, spread them on the floor, and then divided them into two parts: one for me and one for Wanwan. My family thought I was frightened by Wanwan's death and, fearing something might happen to me, took me to the hospital. The doctor said sleepwalking is common in children and advised my family to be more considerate and attentive. From then on, my family doted on me even more. In the eyes of others, I was the happiest little princess, but only I knew the depth of my pain. For all these years, I dared not reveal the true cause of Wanwan's death. Life was exhausting.
Qin Yanping's eyes were blurred with tears. "Fang Yuan, now you understand why I sleepwalk, right? The person standing before you is an unforgivable murderer!" Is human nature inherently good or evil? This is a question without a definitive answer. But Fang Yuan deeply understands one thing: selfishness is a human instinct!
This is especially evident in young children, who lack a sense of morality. Few are willing to give up their favorite toys and snacks for other children. In the adult world, even close relatives can become enemies over petty gains. The Bible even lists selfishness and greed as one of the seven deadly sins punishable by eternal damnation.
"Qin Yanping, don't overthink it. Wanwan's death isn't entirely your fault, and you didn't want it. Let the past be the past. The most important thing now is to live well. See it with a positive outlook. Our life's encounters, joys and sorrows, life and death, are all a play. All we do is try to make it more engaging." "
Qin Yanping hadn't expected Fang Yuan to express such emotion. What kind of story was hidden deep inside her? It turns out everyone has their own secrets, their own hidden inner thoughts.
Fang Yuan patted Qin Yanping's head and feigned a relaxed air. "Silly girl, it's all over. Just treat it as a nightmare. Don't dwell on it when you wake up! Scarlett in Gone with the Wind has a classic line: 'Tomorrow is another day.'"
Qin Yanping took a deep breath. "Yes, it feels much better now that I've said it. I should let go of the past and cherish the beautiful life I have now."
Fang Yuan, seeing Qin Yanping's reaction, felt relieved. "Then you should get some rest. I'm going to class first."
"Wait, Fang Yuan," Qin Yanping called to Fang Yuan. "Can you keep this secret for me?"
"Don't worry. Do you think I'm that loudmouthed Tao Bing'er?" Fang Yuan smiled.
"I'm talking about my sleepwalking. Actually, I got over it a long time ago and haven't had a relapse since I was ten. This time, I don't know what happened, but I promise it won't happen again!" Qin Yanping looked pitiful.
Fang Yuan, feeling soft-hearted and unable to bear seeing her like that, said, "Okay, I won't tell anyone for now, but if you sleepwalk again, I'll tell them."
As soon as Fang Yuan said it, she regretted it, but it was hard to take it back.
Qin Yanping said that she'd only sleepwalked to separate toys and snacks, but this time, she'd actually tried to strangle herself. If it happened again, she didn't know if she'd be as lucky as last night.
Qin Yanping smiled through her tears. "No, I promise it won't happen again. I'll get some rest then. I really didn't sleep well last night." "
After saying this, she stuck out her tongue, slid into her bed, and fell asleep with a pursed smile.
It seemed she had untied the knot in her heart and was in a good mood.
Fang Yuan left Girls' Dormitory 441 and, instead of heading to the teaching building, headed to the library.
She went to find Xiao Jing.
From her observation, Xiao Jing enjoyed studying psychology and had considerable experience, so she wanted to ask his advice.
Fang Yuan entered the library. It was still early, and the place was deserted.
Xiao Jing was bored, and Fang Yuan's arrival surprised him.
Fang Yuan briefly recounted Qin Yanping's sleepwalking incident.
"Teacher Xiao, I want to ask you, will Qin Yanping sleepwalk again?"
Xiao Jing was very interested. "Sleepwalking is a mental illness, and mental illness requires a mental remedy. As long as we find the root cause of her sleepwalking and eliminate her inner repression, the sleepwalking disorder will be cured without treatment. Do you know why she sleepwalks?" "
"When she was a child, she was playing with her cousin. He accidentally fell down the stairs while trying to grab her toys and died. Feeling guilty, she took out her toys and snacks and shared them with him while sleepwalking." Fang Yuan glossed over some of the details.
Xiao Jing smiled slightly. "Freud believed that sleepwalking was a manifestation of subconsciously repressed emotions that erupted at opportune moments. He divided personality into the id, ego, and superego. Simply put, the id is the instinctive self, guided by pleasure; the superego is the moral self, guided by morality and conscience; and the ego, sandwiched in between, coordinates the demands of the id and superego, guided by reality, and is the personality we manifest. When the id's power builds to a certain level, it temporarily replaces the ego, resulting in sleepwalking. Once the id has vented its anger and weakens, the ego will drive it out again. To avoid punishment from the superego, the ego conceals the events, so the person often has no idea what happened when they wake up."
Fang Yuan was confused. "So will she have a relapse?" "It depends on whether the repression that caused her sleepwalking has been fully released. If she's no longer repressed, she shouldn't sleepwalk again."
Qin Yanping's heart knot seemed to have been untied; logically, she wouldn't be repressed anymore.
"What if she sleepwalks again and I want to stop her sleepwalking behavior? What should I do?"
"The most common way to awaken sleepwalkers is aversion therapy. Do the things she hates most while sleepwalking, and she'll wake up."
Fang Yuan thought of the black cat.
No wonder Qin Yanping seemed frightened by the black cat's cry. It was because the black cat's cry reminded the sleepwalking Qin Yanping that she had caused Wanwan's death, and that disgusted her.
Xiao Jing found a book for Fang Yuan. "Take your time to read it. It's hard for me to explain it to you right now." Fang Yuan took the book and sat in the library, flipping through it slowly. An hour later, more and more students were coming to the library to borrow and read. Fang Yuan said goodbye to Xiao Jing and left the library.
She no longer felt like attending class, so she retreated to the grove of trees near the medical school to continue reading. She was so engrossed in her reading that her mind was filled with psychological concepts like id, ego, and superego.
At 11:30, Fang Yuan's stomach began to growl, and she remembered she hadn't had breakfast yet.
She hurried back to the girls' dormitory 441. As soon as she opened the door, a faint smell of blood wafted out.