Chapter 15 – The Words We Can't Take Back
Yuji hadn't spoken to Ren in two days.
Not since that dream.
Every time he looked at him, he felt it — the phantom weight of Ren's hands, the heat of his mouth, the way the bond had turned a dream into something that felt too real.
He didn't know if it was his desire or Ren's that kept replaying it in his head. Maybe both.
And that scared him most of all.
---
"Are you going to keep pretending this isn't happening?"
Ren's voice broke the silence.
Yuji didn't turn. He stared at the subway wall, tracing the cracks with his eyes. "What are you talking about?"
Ren stepped closer, his boots scraping against the concrete. "You know what I'm talking about."
Yuji's jaw tightened. "If this is about that dream—"
"It wasn't just a dream."
Yuji spun on him, anger flaring hot in his chest. "Then what was it, Ren? Huh? You inside my head? Playing with me like I'm some kind of—"
"I wasn't controlling it," Ren cut in sharply.
"Then who was?" Yuji shouted. "Because it sure as hell didn't feel like me in there!"
---
The words echoed in the cramped room, bouncing between them until the silence after felt deafening.
Ren ran a hand through his hair, exhaling slowly. "That's what I've been trying to tell you. The bond… it doesn't care about what you want. Or what I want. It amplifies. It consumes. If we don't control it, it controls us."
Yuji's fists clenched. "Then cut it. Sever it. You said they're trying to do that anyway—"
Ren's voice dropped, quiet but sharp. "You think I haven't tried?"
Yuji froze.
Ren took a step forward, eyes burning. "You think I wanted this? You think I wanted to drag you into it? You don't know what this bond has cost me, Yuji."
Yuji's breath hitched at the rawness in his tone.
---
"Then tell me," Yuji whispered.
Ren stopped. For a moment, his expression softened, like he might actually do it.
But then he shook his head. "Not here. Not now."
Yuji's chest ached. "You're just going to keep me in the dark while we're hunted? While I can't even tell if the thoughts in my head are mine anymore?"
Ren closed the distance between them in two strides.
"Yuji," he said, voice low, dangerous, "you have no idea how dangerous it is to know everything about me."
---
Yuji should've stepped back.
Instead, he stayed rooted to the spot, caught between fear and something else he didn't want to name.
The air between them crackled, heavy and suffocating.
Ren's hand twitched at his side, like he wanted to reach out but didn't trust himself to.
And Yuji hated that some part of him wanted him to.