I had finally made my feelings known.
Everyone knew now — including Austin — that I was in love with him.
But after the confession, an unsettling silence grew between us.
He couldn't talk to me.
I couldn't even look at him.
And that silence… it terrified me.
What if Austin didn't love me the way I loved him?
What if he didn't see me the same way?
What if… he didn't want to be my friend anymore?
The thoughts spiraled endlessly, making it impossible to focus, impossible to breathe.
That morning, I woke up with a strange mix of emotions.
Relieved — because I had finally stopped hiding.
But horrified — because what if I had ruined everything?
At school, it felt like all eyes were on me.
Whispers followed me through the halls like shadows:
> "She confessed, and he didn't even say anything."
"What if their friendship is over?"
"Imagine getting rejected in front of the whole class…"
But thank God for my girls.
Lily and Zoey stood by me like warriors.
They rolled their eyes at the gossipers and threw back sharp words:
> "What's your deal? She was brave enough to say how she feels."
"Even if he doesn't like her back, at least she owned it."
Their words lit a spark in me.
For the first time since the confession, I felt… proud.
I had done something bold. Something real.
And then, I saw him.
Austin.
He looked at me.
Just a glance.
But there was something in his eyes—something unreadable.
He looked like he wanted to speak… but didn't know how.
He looked… lost.
At recess, we didn't sit together.
Again.
It hurt more than I expected.
But Zoey and Lily flanked me like shields.
Zoey was in full comedy mode, quoting me in a dramatic voice:
> "'What if we're more than friends?' Oooooh the scandal!"
We burst into laughter—me included.
Still, I think they saw through the smile.
I was still worried. Still scared.
"Do you want him to say something back?" Zoey asked gently.
"Do you want him to love you the way you love him?" Lily added.
"Or would it be easier to pull away now that your secret's out?"
I swallowed.
"I do," I whispered. "I want him to love me back… But I don't even know how to face him now."
The truth sat heavy between us.
Austin kept his distance all day.
We still sat beside each other in class, but there were no glances, no side comments.
Just silence.
Every time the bell rang, one of us left before the other.
And every single time, it felt like we both wanted to say something — but couldn't.
That silence hurt more than any rejection.
Then came Chemistry class.
The teacher announced we'd be working in pairs for a practical project.
Naturally — and maybe cruelly — he paired us together.
Austin and me.
The whole class gasped.
Eyes turned. Whispers swirled.
Even Lily and Zoey looked at me.
Lily's look said, You've got this.
Zoey's grin said, We believe in you.
I looked at Austin.
He looked back.
"So…" I said quietly. "We're partners."
He nodded. "Yeah… uh, after school. We can meet in the chem lab. And… maybe the library, if we need more time."
It wasn't much.
Not our usual playful banter.
But it was something.
He had finally spoken to me.
And I had spoken to him.
And for that brief moment… it felt like us again.
---
We met at the chemistry lab after school.
At first, it was all awkward silence and polite small talk about the project.
I tried to focus. Really, I did.
But my heart was racing every time our arms brushed.
Then, just as I was about to mess up a measurement, he gently reached out and took my hand.
"Like this," he murmured.
His touch was calm. Steady.
He guided my hand, corrected my grip — like nothing had changed.
For a second, I forgot about the whispers. The silence. The fear.
It felt like us again.
And I caught myself smiling.
So did he.
As we packed up, I took a chance.
"Have you read Fences yet?" I asked.
His face lit up.
"Yes," he said. "I like the part where Troy says, 'I done give you everything I got.'"
It was our safe space — stories, plays, dialogue.
We relaxed. We even laughed.
But then, out of nowhere, he turned serious.
He looked at me, searching.
"Do you really like me… for me?" he asked softly. "Or do you think it's just a one-time thing?"
The question caught me off guard.
But I didn't shy away.
"Yes," I said. "I really like you. And I'm still unsure, but I know I want us to be more than friends… if you want that too."
He didn't speak right away.
Then finally, "I like you too… I really do. But I don't think I want to date anyone right now."
It stung.
It really did.
But I understood.
"I get it," I said, smiling through the ache. "No pressure."
And I meant it. Mostly.
---
We cleaned up and walked out together.
He offered to walk me home.
We talked about school, about Fences, about random stuff that had nothing to do with feelings.
It wasn't perfect.
But it was peaceful.
When we got to my gate, he handed me my bag and smiled.
"See you tomorrow."
"Yeah," I said softly. "See you."
The moment I got to my room, I collapsed on my bed and called Lily and Zoey.
And I cried.
I told them everything.
How he said he liked me.
How he didn't want to date right now.
How I was still his friend… but not his girlfriend.
Lily and Zoey listened.
Then comforted me like only they could.
"You were brave," Lily whispered.
"And graceful," Zoey added. "And that's powerful."
That night, I slept with a heart full of emotions.
Not quite broken.
Not quite whole.
But healing.
When morning came, I felt… okay.
Not perfect. Not over it.
But better.
More hopeful than the day before.