Ainz sat on the wooden bench outside the house, his skeletal fingers steepled as he watched Enri haul buckets of water from the well. She moved with practiced ease, her arms flexing with each lift, the muscles in her biceps tightening under the strain.
'She could probably snap a man's neck with those', he mused idly.
Not that he minded. In fact, he rather enjoyed it—especially during their more intimate moments, when she pinned him down with those same arms.
Enri wiped her brow with the back of her hand, her cheeks flushed from exertion. She was heading back toward the house now, likely to grab a rag to clean herself.
As she drew closer, Ainz's gaze lingered on the definition of her arms. His mind wandered—back to his old guildmate, Peroroncino, and the man's particular tastes.
"Muscle mommy," Ainz muttered aloud, almost absentmindedly.
Enri paused mid-step. "What?"
Ainz's nonexistent blood ran cold.
Without missing a beat, he yanked a random book from his inventory—Advanced Alchemical Theories of the Slane Theocracy—and snapped it open, holding it up like a shield.
"Nothing," he said, voice perfectly even. "Just… reading."
Enri squinted at him, then shrugged and continued inside.
Ainz waited until the door shut behind her before exhaling (pointlessly) in relief.
Note to self: Never say that out loud again.
******
Enri was supposed to be mending socks.
Instead, she was staring at Ainz—or rather, staring through him, her needle frozen mid-stitch as her mind wandered to very inappropriate places.
That sharp jawline. Those long fingers. The way his voice got deeper when—
"Enri."
She jolted, nearly stabbing herself with the needle. "W-Wha—?!"
Ainz tilted his skull, eye flames flickering with amusement. "You've been spacing out for five minutes. And you just sewed that sock to your skirt."
Enri looked down. Sure enough, the sock was now permanently attached to her lap.
Her face burned. "I— It's nothing!"
Ainz leaned closer. "Your heartbeat just spiked."
"I DON'T HAVE A HEARTBEAT PROBLEM!"
Nemu, passing by with Mr. Flops, paused. "Why's Enri redder than Ainz's eyes?"
"NO REASON!" Enri yelped, yanking the sock free (and tearing a hole in her skirt in the process).
Ainz watched her flail with quiet fascination. "Fascinating. You're worse at lying than Nemu."
Enri responded by hurling the sock at his face. It fluttered harmlessly through his nasal cavity.
******
The firelight flickered low in the bedroom, casting warm shadows across tangled sheets. Enri's breath came in soft gasps as Ainz—human Ainz, flesh-and-blood and gloriously real—traced kisses down her collarbone. His hands, no longer skeletal, were warm against her skin—
"A-Ainz—"
Then—
THUD.
The door burst open.
"I HAD A BAD DREAM!" Nemu wailed, rubbing her eyes.
Enri yelped, yanking the blanket up to her chin. Ainz's eyes widened in horror—
"[Wish]."
In an instant, flesh melted back into bone, his human form reverting to his usual skeletal self. The sheer speed of the transformation would have been comical if not for the circumstances.
Nemu, still half-asleep, blinked at them. "Why's it smell weird in here?"
Ainz's finger twitched. A faint gust of wind—[Purify Air]—whispered through the room, followed by a quick [Clean] to erase any evidence of their… activities.
Enri's face was crimson. "N-Nemu, you—you can't just—"
"I had a nightmare," Nemu declared, as if this explained everything. She clambered onto the bed, worming her way between them. "I'm sleeping here now."
Ainz and Enri exchanged a long, long look—equal parts frustration and resignation.
With a sigh, they both lay back down. Nemu immediately curled into Enri's side, her tiny fingers clutching Ainz's robe for good measure.
"...I hate everything," Ainz muttered.
Enri snorted, despite herself. "You wished for this."
"Not this."
But when Nemu nuzzled closer, her breathing already steadying into sleep, Ainz found his bony fingers gently stroking her hair anyway.
Enri watched them, her annoyance fading into fondness. "You're soft."
"I'm tolerant," he corrected.
She smirked, closing her eyes. "Keep telling yourself that."
Hours passed. Enri and Nemu slept soundly, one curled around the other.
Ainz, now incapable of sleep in his undead form, stared at the ceiling.
...I could turn human again. But then I'd actually have to deal with my frustration.
With a silent groan, he summoned a book from his inventory—Advanced Arcane Theory, Vol. VII—and resigned himself to a very long night of reading.
And if his gaze kept drifting back to Enri's sleeping face, well. No one needed to know.
******
Enri stood in front of the small mirror in their bedroom, dressed in her nightgown, turning slightly to examine herself. She frowned, poking at her hips.
"Ainz…" she began, hesitant. "Do you think I've gotten fatter?"
Ainz, lounging on the bed in his usual skeletal form, tilted his skull. His crimson gaze flickered over her, scanning for any noticeable change.
"I don't see a difference," he admitted. Then, after a pause, "Maybe your thighs are a little bigger."
Enri's eyes widened in horror.
"But it's not a bad thing," Ainz added quickly. "If anything, it just means you're stronger."
Enri huffed, crossing her arms. "That's not how that works!"
"It is if I say it is."
She threw a pillow at him. It phased harmlessly through his ribs.
———
Just as they settled into bed—Ainz still in his undead form—the door burst open.
"Nightmare," Nemu announced, already scrambling toward the bed.
Ainz immediately pointed at the door. "No."
Nemu pouted, stomping her foot. "But I had a bad dream!"
Enri sighed, rubbing her temples. "Nemu, you can't just barge in here every time—"
"Mr. Flops can't hug me when I'm scared!" Nemu whined, clutching her undead rabbit plushie for dramatic effect.
Ainz and Enri exchanged a glance
.
A long, defeated silence followed.
Then, with a soundless exhale, Ainz relented. "...Fine."
Nemu cheered, diving between them before they could change their minds.
Ainz hesitated, then activated his [Ring of Shooting Star], willing himself into his human form. Flesh wove over bone, warmth replacing hollow emptiness. He stretched slightly, rolling his shoulders
Enri watched him, a small smile playing on her lips.
"You don't have to do that just because she's here," she murmured.
"I know," Ainz said simply. "But I can sleep like this."
He reached over, threading his fingers through Enri's.
Nemu, already curling into Enri's side, yawned. "You're warm now," she mumbled, half-asleep.
Mr. Flops hopped onto the foot of the bed, gnawing idly on the corner of the blanket.
Ainz sighed, but there was no real annoyance in it.
"...Goodnight, you little menace."
Nemu didn't answer. She was already asleep.
Enri squeezed Ainz's hand, her eyes drifting shut.
And for the next hour—until the spell faded and bone replaced flesh once more—Ainz allowed himself the rare luxury of rest.
———
For weeks, Nemu's "nightmare visits" had been a predictable nuisance.
Ainz and Enri had adapted—mostly. They kept spare blankets at the foot of the bed. Ainz perfected the art of transforming back into a skeleton at lightning speed. Enri had even started wearing thicker nightgowns, just in case.
But nothing could have prepared them for that night.
It started normally enough.
Ainz, in his rare mortal form, had just pinned Enri to the mattress, his human hands roaming with far less restraint than usual. Enri, in turn, had her fingers tangled in his hair, pulling him closer—
Then—
"I HAD A DREAM ABOUT SPIDERS—"
The door flew open.
Nemu froze.
Ainz froze.
Enri made a sound that was half-shriek, half-sob.
For one horrifying second, no one moved.
Then Nemu tilted her head. "...Why is Ainz naked?"
Ainz's soul nearly left his body.
"[WISH]."
Flesh melted into bone so fast it created a small gust of wind.
Nemu blinked. "Oh. He's bony again."
Enri had buried her face in the pillow, her entire body trembling with mortification.
Ainz pointed at the door with a shaking finger. "OUT."
Nemu pouted. "But the spiders—"
"THEY'RE NOT REAL. GO."
Mr. Flops, sensing the tension, hopped forward and gently tugged Nemu's nightgown with his teeth.
Grumbling, she allowed herself to be led away.
The door shut.
Silence.
Then—
"...I'm installing locks," Ainz declared, his voice hollow.
Enri finally lifted her head, her face still scarlet. "Or… we could just use [Soundproof Barrier]?"
Ainz stared at her. "Why didn't we start with that?!"
The next morning, Ainz stormed into the village carpenter's workshop.
"I need a reinforced door," he announced. "One that locks."
The carpenter, an elderly man named Boran, blinked. "Uh. Sure. For your house?"
"Yes." A pause. "Also, soundproofing."
Boran's eyebrows climbed his forehead. "...Soundproofing."
"For meditation," Ainz added stiffly.
Boran opened his mouth—then caught sight of Enri lurking outside, her face buried in her hands.
"...Right," he said slowly. "Meditation. I'll, uh… prioritize that."
As Ainz left, Boran turned to his apprentice.
"Kid, remind me to never ask questions about the skeleton's love life."
———
The next morning at breakfast, Nemu kicked her feet under the table and fixed Ainz with the most innocent look she could muster.
"Sooooo," she began, spoon dangling from her fingers. "Why were you naked last night?"
Ainz's teacup froze halfway to where his mouth would be. Enri choked on her porridge.
"I wasn't," Ainz said stiffly.
"Yes you were! You were all pink and—"
"[Silence]."
The spell hit Nemu mid-sentence, her mouth still moving soundlessly. She glared and folded her arms in protest.
Enri, still bright red, hissed, "You can't just keep casting spells on my sister!"
"Watch me."
By noon, the entire village knew.
Old Man Garmi leaned on his fence as Ainz passed. "Heard ya got caught with yer bones out, eh?"
Ainz's eye flames flickered dangerously. "[Silence]."
At the well, the baker's wife "subtly" asked Enri if she'd considered "more modest sleeping arrangements." Enri dumped her entire water bucket over the woman's head.
The village children started a game called "Naked Skeleton Tag," which ended when Ainz turned the ringleader's hair bright pink for a week.
That evening, Ainz stood before the village council (which was really just three elderly farmers and a very nervous midwife).
"This harassment must stop," he growled.
Chief Boro rubbed his chin. "Well, if ya didn't want folks talkin', maybe ya shouldn't've—"
"I was human at the time," Ainz snapped.
The midwife's eyes lit up. "Oho! So it's true you can—"
"[Silence]. [Silence]. [Silence]."
At supper, Nemu (finally un-silenced) tried again.
"But if you weren't naked, why did Enri—"
Ainz stood so fast his chair clattered to the floor. "That's it. I'm moving to the forest."
Enri grabbed his robe. "You will not. We're solving this like adults." She turned to Nemu. "When two people love each other very much—"
"NO," Ainz bellowed, casting [Greater Teleportation] on himself.
He reappeared in the middle of the lake.
Days passed. The gossip died down (slightly). Ainz returned home after Enri promised to "handle" Nemu.
Their solution?
"If you ever want dessert again," Enri told her sister sweetly, "you will never mention that night. And you'll tell everyone Ainz was doing... special skeleton exercises."
Nemu gasped. "That's blackmail!"
Ainz placed a bowl of fresh strawberries on the table.
"...I'll tell them he was sunbathing," Nemu conceded.
It wasn't perfect. But as Ainz watched Enri laugh—really laugh—for the first time in days, he decided it was enough.
(Though he did cast [Soundproof Barrier] that night. Just in case.)