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Eldritch Horror? No, I'm A Doctor
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"Those fucking idiots."
Colonel Steven Bright sat in the military Humvee, gripping the handle above the door as the vehicle tore through the city streets at a speed that would give most people a heart attack. The engine roared. Tires squealed around corners. Other vehicles honked and swerved to avoid them.
Steven didn't care. They needed to get to the clinic. Fast.
"I still don't know why you're worrying so much, Colonel," Major Daniel Kleiner said from the driver's seat. His hands were steady on the wheel despite the breakneck pace.
"It's just a clinic, right? Sure, the doctor can implant monster parts, but he can't be that much stronger than you. Maybe S-rank at most."
Daniel glanced at Steven through the rearview mirror.
"And if his abilities are healing-focused, doesn't that mean he's a support-type hunter? Those are even weaker than normal alchemists in combat. How could Varyn be in any real danger?"
Steven crossed his arms, his jaw tight.
"Hey, Daniel. I thought you were smart. Is that really all the reasoning you can manage?"
"Huh?"
"Let me ask you something," Steven said, leaning forward.
"In your opinion, what's that guy's class? The doctor, I mean."
Daniel frowned, one hand tapping against the steering wheel as he thought.
"Well, he might be some kind of strange alchemist. Or maybe a mutant support-type. If we consider that he has a unique class, there can't be more than S-rank possibilities. But if everything you said is true, I think he's probably at the Master level at most. After all, he can regenerate limbs, which is something normal healers can do, but I don't think it's that impressive."
He paused to swerve around a stopped bus.
"I think he might have ties to the alchemist profession. Maybe his class is related to bio-alchemy?"
"You're still thinking within the scope of normal hunters, Daniel." Steven shook his head.
"But may I suggest that what I saw is not something a normal S-rank hunter is capable of doing?"
"What do you mean?"
"Even the Mythical bio-alchemist Elias Throne can only create inferior versions of his work," Steven said.
"Do you know his limitations?"
"Is the doctor really that special?"
Steven nodded slowly.
"For example, Elias Throne, the Mythical bio-alchemist, can create chimeras that mix human and monster DNA. Like making a werebear."
"Ah, yes. That's what he was famous for," Daniel agreed.
"But the price for that transformation is steep," Steven continued.
"You change into a werebear every full moon, against your will. The bear's instincts take over, and you lose your humanity for a short time. Every. Single. Month."
"Yes, that's what I heard too." Daniel glanced at Steven again.
"Isn't your case the same, Colonel? Don't you have side effects from the procedure?"
"No." Steven's voice was firm. "It's vastly different."
"How so?"
"I gained a skill."
"What!" Daniel's hands jerked on the wheel, causing the Humvee to swerve slightly before he corrected.
"What did you say?"
"I said I gained a skill," Steven repeated calmly.
"An actual skill. Registered in my status window. As if I'd awakened it naturally."
Daniel's mouth opened and closed several times.
"That's... that's impossible. No hunter in the world can mess with the status window. Not even the Legendary-rank hunters. The system is absolute. It can't be modified or fooled."
"And yet, here we are." Steven lifted his eyepatch for a moment, revealing the glowing blue eye beneath.
"The skill exists. It's in my status. And there are no side effects. It simply exists, like DNA, like I was born with it."
"What the fuck." Daniel's voice was barely a whisper.
"This is more than just madness. If word of this reaches the New Type Human Organization, they'll do anything in their power to seize this doctor. They'll declare him a national asset. Or a national threat. Either way, they'll try to control him."
A chill ran down Daniel's spine. He could already imagine the political nightmare that would unfold if this information got out. The military factions fighting for access. The hunter guilds trying to negotiate exclusive contracts. The government attempting to nationalize the clinic.
"Colonel," Daniel said slowly.
"What is it?"
"What rank do you estimate the horror doctor has?"
Steven was quiet for a moment, staring out the window at the blurred cityscape.
"I think at least Mythical."
"So those guys are fucked, huh?"
"Yep. Pretty much." Steven's tone was matter of fact.
"The reason we're in such a hurry is to prevent them from acting foolishly. But honestly? I've already prepared to collect their corpses."
"Stupid bastard," Steven muttered.
"If you have the power to become a Brigadier General, you should at least study your enemy before attacking them."
The entire ride fell silent after that. The only sounds were the roar of the engine and the screech of tires against asphalt. Daniel focused on driving, weaving through traffic with practiced efficiency. Steven stared out the window, his visible brown eye hard with worry.
After several minutes, Daniel spoke again.
"If those guys died, Colonel, what should we do?"
"What else can we do?" Steven replied.
"At least I don't plan to blame the doctor for it. That would be asking for death."
"Then what would you do?"
"Apologize."
"Huh?"
"I will apologize in their stead."
The voice came from above, from the roof of the Humvee.
Both Steven and Daniel looked up instinctively. There was a heavy thump, then the rear door swung open. A middle-aged man climbed into the vehicle with casual grace, settling into the back seat next to Steven.
He was in his late fifties, with gray hair cut military-short and a face weathered by decades of combat. Three stars adorned his uniform. Major General Axel Krane, one of the five highest-ranking military officers in the Azareth Empire.
"Salute, Major General Axel!" Both Steven and Daniel straightened, hands snapping to their foreheads.
"Fuck the procedure," Axel waved dismissively.
"Let's continue the conversation. We're in a hurry, aren't we?"
"When did you arrive, Major General?" Daniel asked, his hands returning to the wheel.
"From when you started discussing the clinic." Axel leaned back in his seat, his expression serious.
"I've been listening to everything."
"Then are you really planning to apologize, Major General?" Daniel's voice carried a note of disbelief.
"That's still a grave crime the doctor will face if he killed military officers. Especially a Brigadier General."
"I can make it so that he's not guilty," Axel said simply.
Steven raised an eyebrow. "You have that authority?"
"I do." Axel sighed, rubbing his temples.
"But let me ask you both something first. Do you know what the most important aspect in the Azareth Empire is?"
"Power," Steven answered immediately.
"It seems you know your stuff." Axel nodded approvingly.
"And if that doctor really has the power Steven claims he has, he'll be almost untouchable. Legally, politically, militarily. All of it."
"If we can become allies, that will benefit us the most," Axel continued.
"But if we ever become enemies, there will be huge losses on our side. If we were forced to fight, it's more likely that we would face catastrophic damage before we could neutralize the threat."
"Yes, I think so too," Steven agreed.
Daniel frowned, his analytical mind working through the implications.
"But can one Mythical-rank hunter really do that much damage? I mean, we have multiple Mythical hunters on our side. And we even have General Malvick Siven, who's Legendary rank."
"Daniel, do you have brain damage today?" Steven asked bluntly.
"Why are you being so stupid?"
"Ah, sorry." Daniel looked embarrassed.
"I almost always do administration work, so I don't know combat rankings that well."
Steven sighed. "A normal Mythical hunter can wipe out a country overnight. You know that, right?"
"Yes, I know that much," Daniel admitted.
"But if we moved quickly to eliminate the threat, there wouldn't be much damage, right? Strike teams, coordinated assault, overwhelming force before he can react. And if General Malvick himself got involved..."
"What you said is true in theory," Steven replied.
"But Daniel, you're overlooking one critical thing."
"What is it?"
"He implanted one monster part in my eye, and I already gained an S-rank skill."
Daniel nodded slowly. "Right..."
"And do you think," Steven continued, his voice dropping,
"That he hasn't done the same procedure to himself?"
"Ah, shit." The realization hit Daniel like a physical blow.
"That's right," Steven confirmed.
"He seems like a normal human, but he wears that mask. His whole body is covered in a suit and long coat. He's never shown any of his skin. Not once."
"And the most unsettling part," Steven added, his voice quiet,
"Is that his head can bloom into ten tentacles. Maybe more. He's almost monstrous when he performs surgery. Just thinking about what he might look like underneath all those clothes makes my spine shiver."
The expression on Major General Axel's face turned grave. He leaned forward, his hands clasped together.
"If it's that much, we can reasonably expect up to one hundred body modifications."
"What!" Daniel's mouth hung open. The Humvee swerved slightly before he corrected.
"One hundred?"
"If all of Colonel Bright's information is accurate," Axel said slowly,
"And if the doctor really has one hundred S-rank or higher skills embedded in his body through monster grafting, then he's not just Mythical rank."
He paused, letting the weight of his next words settle.
"He's closer to Legendary rank."
Daniel went pale. The steering wheel creaked under his grip. All his earlier thoughts of subjugating the doctor, of bringing him under military control, evaporated instantly.
Because Legendary-rank hunters had another name.
Demigods.
Beings who had transcended human limitations so completely that they were worshipped in some regions. Individuals who could reshape battlefields with a gesture, who could level cities if they chose, who negotiated with nations as equals rather than subjects.
There were only 1 digit number of confirmed Legendary-rank hunters in the entire world. Individuals who stood at the absolute peak of human potential. General Malvick Siven was one of them, the pride of the Azareth Empire, a man whose mere presence on a battlefield could turn the tide of war.
And if this horror doctor was approaching that level...
"Even General Malvick would hesitate to fight someone like that," Axel said quietly.
"Not because he'd lose, necessarily. But because the collateral damage would be unacceptable. When two Legendary-rank hunters fight, cities become graveyards."
Daniel's hands trembled on the wheel. "So what you're saying is..."
"We're not going there to fight," Axel said firmly. "We're going there to apologize and hopefully prevent a massacre. Is that understood?"
"Yes, sir," both Steven and Daniel responded.
"Good." Axel looked out the window, watching the city blur past. "How far to the clinic?"
"Five minutes at this speed," Daniel replied.
"Make it three."
Daniel pressed harder on the accelerator. The Humvee's engine roared louder. They blew through a red light, narrowly missing a civilian vehicle. Horns blared behind them.
"Tell me more about this doctor," Axel said, turning to Steven. "Everything you observed. Don't leave anything out."
Steven nodded and began recounting his experience. The waiting room that looked normal but felt wrong. The trio of hunters who'd been terrified of the doctor even before the procedure. The moment he'd seen Nox's true form, tentacles blooming from where a human head should be.
"He called one of his tools CPR," Steven said. "It's a chainsaw, Major General. A medical chainsaw that he uses for surgery."
"A chainsaw," Axel repeated flatly.
"Yes, sir. And it works. Perfectly. I watched him use it to open my chest cavity. No excessive bleeding. No damage to surrounding tissue. Precision that shouldn't be possible with a power tool designed for cutting wood."
"What about his demeanor?" Axel asked. "His personality. How does he think?"
Steven considered this. "Professional, mostly. He treats the procedures like a business transaction. But there's something else underneath. A sense of humor that's... dark. He makes jokes about the horror of what he's doing. Like he's aware of how terrifying it is and finds that amusing."
"Sadistic?"
"No, not quite." Steven shook his head.
"More like... detached? He's not enjoying causing pain. He's just completely removed from normal human reactions to gore and suffering. It doesn't bother him at all."
"That's common among high-rank hunters who've been in too many gates," Axel observed. "After you've seen enough monsters eating people alive, you develop a certain numbness."
"Maybe," Steven allowed. "But this felt different. More fundamental. Like empathy isn't something he lost. It's something he never had to begin with."
Daniel shivered despite himself. "That's a monster's mindset."
"Or a surgeon's," Axel countered.
"Think about it. To cut into living flesh, to perform invasive procedures, you need to suppress normal human aversion to hurting people. Medical professionals train themselves to view patients as problems to solve rather than people to feel sorry for."
"But doctors still have limits," Steven said.
"They still follow ethical guidelines. This guy? I don't think he has those same boundaries."
The Humvee screeched around a corner. They were in the medical district now, the streets lined with hospitals and clinics. Somewhere among these buildings was Hector Clinic.
"There's one more thing," Steven said quietly.
"When I was under the anesthesia, I was fully conscious. I could see everything he was doing. Every cut. Every tool. Every moment."
"He used it because he wanted me to see," Steven replied. "He wanted me to understand exactly what was happening to my body. To witness the entire procedure."
"Why would he do that?"
"I think it was a test." Steven touched his eyepatch. "To see if I could handle it. If I would break. If I was worthy of the power he was giving me."
"And you passed."
"I passed. But Varyn?" Steven's expression darkened. " If Varyn tried to mind-control him. Tried to dominate his will. "
"Fuck," Axel breathed. "They want to attacked him in his own clinic?"
"If what I suspect happened actually happened, then yes."
"Then they're already dead," Axel said with certainty. "No question."
"Probably," Steven agreed. "But we still need to go. To apologize. To try to smooth this over before it becomes an inter departmental incident."
"And to collect the bodies," Daniel added grimly.
"Do you think General Malvick should be informed?" Daniel asked suddenly.
"If this doctor really is approaching Legendary rank, shouldn't the General know about it?"
Axel was quiet for a moment.
"Not yet. Malvick is currently dealing with the S-rank gate in the northern territories. If we pull him away for this, it might signal that we view the doctor as a threat rather than a potential ally."
"And if the doctor takes offense to a Legendary rank hunter showing up at his clinic..." Steven trailed off.
"Exactly," Axel confirmed.
"We need to handle this delicately. Three military officers coming to apologize is one thing. The Empire's strongest hunter showing up is another entirely. It could be interpreted as preparation for combat."
"There," Steven pointed ahead. "That building. The one with the black door."
Daniel pulled the Humvee to a screeching halt in front of Hector Clinic. All three men climbed out, their boots hitting the pavement in unison.
The clinic looked normal from the outside. Unassuming. A small sign by the door read "Hector Clinic - AS LONG AS YOU'RE NOT DEAD, WE CAN CURE ANYTHING." The windows were tinted dark, impossible to see through.
But Steven could feel it. That same wrongness he'd felt before. The sense that something beyond human understanding waited inside.
"Ready?" Axel asked.
Steven nodded. "As ready as I'll ever be."
Daniel just looked terrified.
They approached the door. Steven reached out and pushed it open.
The door chime rang.
Cling.