Yun Yi stared at the pulsing letters in his mind, the silent, binary question that held the entire weight of his future. Accept? Y/N.
For a long moment, he was paralyzed. His genre-savvy brain screamed at him about the folly of accepting a subordinate with a 62% loyalty score and a warning label that read like a troubleshooting guide for a ticking time bomb.
But then, the system's taunting failure condition echoed in his memory. Quest objective not met. System functionality remains locked.
He let out a slow, tired breath, the fight seeming to drain out of him. He was alone. He was weak. In a world of gods and monsters, a shy shadow guard who might vanish if you sneezed was infinitely better than nothing. A new mantra formed in his mind, a quiet prayer of surrender to the sheer, overwhelming absurdity of his new life. Go with the flow, Yun Yi. Just go with the flow.
With the resigned air of a man clicking "I agree" on a thirty-page terms and conditions document he hadn't read, he mentally selected 'Y'.
The screen in his vision flickered, and the prompt vanished. A wave of relief washed over him, so potent it almost made him dizzy. He'd done it. He'd recruited his first minion.
Then a new line of text appeared, just as baffling as everything else.
[To finalize Minion Protocol, please provide biometric data of the target for registration.]
Yun Yi read the prompt once. Then again. His mind, which had just begun to relax, immediately spiraled back into a vortex of confusion and meta-awareness.
Biometric data? The term was jarringly modern, a piece of corporate jargon dropped into a world of swords and magic. His mind immediately jumped to fingerprint scanners, retinal scans, and facial recognition software. The System, an ancient and demonic cosmic entity, apparently moonlighted as a low-level IT administrator.
What am I now? he thought, a fresh wave of despair washing over him. An office boy for a soul-eating corporation? Am I the HR department? Do I need her to fill out a W-9 form and declare her dependents next?
His gaze fell upon a scholar's set on a nearby writing desk: a brush, a scroll of pristine paper, and a heavy, black inkstone. An idea, as terrible as it was logical, began to form. Biometrics... fingerprints. Maybe it wants a finger stamp?
He steeled himself, the mantra returning like a shield against the coming awkwardness. Go with the flow. Go with the flow.
He walked over to the desk, his movements stiff. He picked up a blank scroll and the inkstone, then turned to face Lin Shan. He cleared his throat.
"I require..." he began, his voice coming out a little too loud, "your... finger stamp. For... official registration."
Lin Shan looked up, her expression hidden behind her mask, but her confusion was palpable in the slight tilt of her head. A finger stamp? Was this some ancient, binding ritual of the Yun Clan? Without a word, she nodded once, her obedience absolute. She stepped forward, removed a single black glove, and delicately dipped the tip of her index finger onto the inkstone Yun Yi held out. Then, with practiced precision, she pressed her inked finger onto the center of the scroll, leaving a perfect, whorled print.
To Lin Shan, it was a strange but solemn ceremony. She watched as her new Young Master stared intently at the scroll, then at the empty air in front of him, then back at the scroll. His lips moved, though no sound came out. To her, it looked as if he were performing some kind of verification ritual, perhaps muttering ancient spells to bind the print to the manor's destiny.
Internally, Yun Yi was screaming. He stared at the fingerprint on the scroll, then looked at the system screen in his mind. Nothing. The System remained stubbornly, infuriatingly silent.
Why is nothing happening? he pleaded internally. He decided he had to try activating it manually. Okay, first principle of magic and technology, he reasoned, is contact. He took a deep, cleansing breath and slowly extended his index finger, touching the fingerprint softly, reverently. He held it there, waiting.
One second. Two. Three. The System screen remained unchanged. His eye began to twitch.
Okay, plan A failed. Plan B: friction. His mind flashed to lottery scratch-off tickets. Maybe it needs a catalyst? He pressed his own thumb onto her print and began to rub it in slow, deliberate circles. When that did nothing, his circles became faster, more frantic. He started muttering under his breath. "Register... confirm... abracabra..."
Still, absolutely nothing. He was now sweating. Lin Shan, a perfect statue of confused obedience, shifted her weight from one foot to the other. The tiny rustle of her clothing sounded like an avalanche in the dead silence, amplifying his mortification a thousand times over.
Finally, in a fit of absolute desperation, his logic completely short-circuited. Biometric! It needs to be part of me for the system to register it!
The thought was insane. Utterly, certifiably insane. But it was all he had left. The system is inside me, he reasoned with the flawed logic of a man at the end of his rope, so the data has to get inside me too!
With a look of grim, terrible resolve, he slowly lifted the scroll. He brought the corner of the paper towards his lips, his intention clear.
And then, just as the edge of the scroll was about to touch his tongue, his own brain screamed at him in horrified rebellion.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! YOU'RE ABOUT TO EAT PAPER! IN FRONT OF YOUR FIRST POTENTIAL EMPLOYEE!
He froze, his hand trembling, the scroll hovering an inch from his mouth. His eyes went wide with the sudden, crushing realization of what he had almost done. He risked a glance at Lin Shan. Her perfect, statue-like composure had finally broken. She had taken a single, almost imperceptible half-step backward, her eyes wide with profound and absolute shock.
Yun Yi's mind went completely blank. He was trapped, frozen in the single most embarrassing moment of his two lives, the half-eaten scroll a monument to his failure.