I was reorganizing my chemistry notes for the third time when Jakari knocked on my door. My roommate Sarah had conveniently disappeared for the weekend, leaving me alone with my nerves and an alarming amount of lip gloss that I'd applied and wiped off twice.
"Hey," Jakari said when I opened the door, and without really thinking about it, I stepped forward into his arms.
He hugged me back immediately, his hands settling around my waist while mine went around his neck. For a moment, we just stood there in my doorway, and I was acutely aware of how solid he felt, how warm he was, how his cologne made me want to stay exactly where I was.
"Hi," I said softly, not pulling away.
"Hi back."
When we finally separated, I felt a little breathless. "Come in. Fair warning though - my room is basically a museum of type-A personality disorder."
He laughed, stepping inside and looking around at my color-coded everything. But his eyes also caught the anime posters I'd strategically placed where most people wouldn't notice them, and the small collection of manga on my bookshelf.
"Attack on Titan?" he said, spotting one of the volumes.
I felt my face get warm. "You watch anime?"
"Some. That's not really what I expected from Miss Perfect Student Body."
"There's a lot you don't know about me," I said, then immediately worried that sounded stupid.
"Like what?"
I grabbed two water bottles from my mini-fridge, suddenly feeling nervous. "Like... I cry at literally everything. Happy commercials, sad movies, when I get overwhelmed with schoolwork. Last week I cried because a dog video was too cute."
"That's... actually really sweet."
"It's embarrassing. I spend so much energy trying to seem like I have everything together, but most of the time I'm just overthinking everything until I want to scream."
Jakari was looking at me with this expression I couldn't quite read. "So the whole perfect, put-together thing is kind of an act?"
"Not an act exactly. More like... armor. If everyone thinks I'm perfect, they don't look too close at all the ways I'm not."
"Isabella..."
"I know, I know. I'm probably way more messed up than you thought."
"Nah. You're just more real than I thought. And I already liked you a lot."
We settled on my bed with chemistry books between us, but closer than we probably needed to be for studying. I pulled my legs up, sitting cross-legged, and noticed how Jakari's eyes followed the movement.
"So, molecular structures," I said, trying to focus but very aware of how his presence seemed to fill my usually organized space. "This is where you said you were lost?"
"Yeah, but first - what else you hiding? Like, what other anime you watch?"
I felt myself getting animated despite my embarrassment, pulling my hair into a messy bun without thinking about it. "Okay, but you can't judge me. I love the really emotional ones. Silent Voice made me sob for like an hour. And don't even get me started on Your Lie In April."
"You really do cry at everything."
" But It's not a problem. It means you feel things deeply."
The way he said it, looking at me like that was a good thing instead of something to be embarrassed about, made my chest feel warm.
"Okay, chemistry," I said, scooting closer so I could see his textbook. Our legs were touching now, and I tried to ignore how that simple contact made my heart beat faster. "What if we made this about something you actually care about?"
As I explained molecular bonds, I kept getting distracted by little details - the way he concentrated with his jaw slightly tense, how his forearms looked when he gestured, the way he'd glance at me when he thought I wasn't looking.
"This is harder than I thought," I said after stumbling through an explanation.
"The chemistry?"
"Concentrating with you sitting so close."
He smiled at that. "Want me to move?"
"No. Definitely don't move."
We worked through a few more problems, but the tension between us was growing. Every accidental touch, every shared glance, every moment of eye contact felt charged.
"You're biting your lip again," Jakari said at one point.
"I don't bite my lip."
"You're doing it right now."
I released my lip immediately, which made him laugh softly. The sound did something to my insides.
"That's not fair. You can't just point out my nervous habits."
"Why not? They're cute."
I moved closer to him, close enough that our knees were touching. "Can I tell you something?"
"Always."
"I've never felt this way about anyone before. Like, ever."
"What way?"
"Like I want to forget about plans and schedules and just... see what happens. Like I want to stop overthinking everything and just feel."
His eyes were moving between my eyes and my lips now, and I could feel the tension building between us.
"That's terrifying for you, isn't it?"
"Absolutely terrifying. But also..." I leaned closer, close enough that I could feel his breath. "Also kind of exciting."
Jakari reached over and tucked a piece of hair behind my ear, his hand lingering on my cheek. I could feel the calluses on his fingertips from football, could see every detail of his face this close.
"You don't have to figure everything out right now," he said softly.
"I know. It's just... I like you so much it's kind of ridiculous."
"Good thing I like you back then."
"Just like?"
"More than like. A lot more than like."
We stayed like that for a moment, his hand on my face, both of us aware that something was shifting between us. I could see him looking at my lips again, and I found myself doing the same thing.
"Jakari..."
"Yeah?"
"I really want you to kiss me right now."
His thumb traced along my cheekbone. "You sure?"
Instead of answering with words, I leaned closer, closing the distance between us until our foreheads were almost touching. "Does that answer your question?"
"Isabella..." His voice was softer now, rougher somehow. "We don't have to rush anything."
"I know. But I don't want to overthink this one."
And for once in my life, I didn't.
We talked until the sun started setting outside my window, sitting close enough that our legs were intertwined, both of us stealing glances and small touches whenever we could.
He told me more about his friends back home and how proud he was of them for turning their lives around. I told him about the pressure I felt to be perfect all the time and how exhausting it was.
"You know what I like about you?" he said at one point, his hand playing with my fingers.
"What?"
"You're not afraid to be vulnerable. Even when it scares you."
"I'm always afraid."
"But you do it anyway. That's brave."
"I don't feel brave."
"Trust me, you are."
As the afternoon turned to evening, we found ourselves lying on my bed, talking about everything and nothing. I was curled up against his side, his arm around me, feeling more comfortable and safe than I had in... maybe ever.
"I should probably let you go," I said eventually, not moving from where I was nestled against him.
"Probably."
"But I don't want to."
"Me neither."
When Jakari finally did leave, he kissed my forehead gently at the door, his lips lingering there for a moment longer than necessary.
"Sweet dreams, Isabella."
"You too."
I watched him walk down the hallway until he disappeared around the corner, then closed my door and leaned against it, feeling like my entire world had shifted.
My phone buzzed with a text from him before I'd even made it back to my bed: Thanks for today. For letting me see the real you.
I smiled, typing back: Thanks for making me want to show you.
Isabella?
Yeah?
I meant what I said. About liking you more than like.
Me too. A lot more than like.
I fell asleep that night thinking about the way he'd looked at me, the feeling of his arms around me, and how for the first time in my life, I wasn't worried about what came next.
-----
I was walking home from summer league practice when my phone buzzed with a text from Coach Martinez: Rico, can you come by the field tomorrow morning? Want to talk to you about something important.
My stomach dropped for a second - anytime a coach wanted to "talk about something important," it usually meant you were in trouble or getting cut.
I'm so cooked