Chapter 10: Guided Missile
"Monsters!!"
The leader's shout pierced the air like a javelin, making Ethan flinch instinctively.
From the rustling thickets, short, sickly green creatures began to crawl out — snarling, gurgling, and dragging crude weapons along with them. Their heads were disproportionate to their bodies, eyes bulging like popped grapes, teeth like a half-melted fork, and limbs flailing with spasms of madness.
"What are those?" Ethan muttered, eyebrows twitching. "Goblins? Ugh… so ugly..."
Then the real commentary began — in his head, of course.
> 'I've read in novels they were hideous, but this?!'
'That one's face looks like it lost a boxing match against a frying pan!'
'Is that snot or slime hanging off its ear?!'
'Gods above, they look like someone tried to sculpt a human using mashed peas and disappointment!'
'Wait—did that one just bite its own friend?!'
Unfortunately, this roast session didn't last long. Some larger figures stepped out behind the goblins — towering brutes with armor scraps strapped around swollen bodies, holding tree-trunk clubs like toys.
"Ogres mixed in? Great…" Ethan grimaced.
The leader wasn't wasting time. "Doran! Valen! Cover the wagon and kill anything that gets close!" he barked, before whipping his head toward Ethan.
"You—since you've got a sword, you must be a warrior, right? Come on, help us! We'll compensate you properly if we get out of this!"
Ethan blinked. Once. Twice.
"...Huh? Y-Yeah… sure," he replied, nodding a bit too quickly.
'What am I doing? This isn't a game... I could actually die...'
But even as that thought passed, his eyes locked onto the goblins.
'Still… they feel weak. At least the little ones do…'
He raised his hand subtly.
[Inspect]
A slight shimmer passed across his pupils, and a translucent screen blinked into view above one of the goblins.
---
[Goblin – Level 3]
Strength: 0.7
Vitality: 0.8
Constitution: 0.5
Agility: 0.9
Stamina: 0.6
Intelligence: —
Mana: —
---
"...Weak," Ethan muttered aloud, almost in disbelief.
If these were considered monsters... then maybe he wasn't as powerless as he thought.
30-second cooldown…
Ethan stared at the fading [Inspect] screen as he stepped slightly back behind the others.
'Let these guys handle the big ones. I'll just scrape the edges. Pick off the stragglers. Easy XP. Minimal risk. Maximum brain cells.'
The battle ignited like dry tinder. One of the guards slashed through a goblin's neck cleanly. The leader charged head-on into a hulking brute, fists wrapped in mana-like wisps, exchanging savage blows with the beast. The third man held his ground, eyes sharp, waiting for an opening like a seasoned assassin.
Meanwhile, the wagon driver?
Cowering inside the wagon with a blanket pulled up to his nose. Trembling like he was being charged by a dragon.
'Seriously? These weaklings scared him that badly?' Ethan squinted, mildly offended on behalf of common sense.
He quickly scanned the battlefield.
'Nine goblins, two big ones… and one more standing at the back with a rusty helmet and a stick—maybe a "commander" goblin or something?'
His eyes locked onto a lone goblin straying too far from its pack. Vulnerable. Distracted.
Perfect.
Without hesitation, Ethan gripped the sword at his waist and dashed forward—
—and instantly regretted it.
Because the world blurred.
His body moved, no — launched — like a human bullet.
"Wh—!"
BAM!
He rammed into the goblin like a freight train made of poor decisions. The poor creature exploded into the air with a wet splat, bouncing off a tree trunk like a sack of mashed potatoes flung from a catapult.
But Ethan didn't stop either.
THWACK!
He smashed into a thick tree just behind the goblin, body-first, creating a dent in the bark and knocking all air out of his lungs.
His sword clattered to the ground.
"WHAT?! What the actual f—!" he wheezed, sliding down the tree in a daze.
His mind spun. His ribs screamed. A squirrel fell off a branch from the shockwave.
'I was supposed to lightly sprint… not go full anime protagonist on crack!'
'Why did I turn into a goddamn cannonball?!'
He blinked up at the sky, trying to remember what planet he was on.
The goblin he'd tackled? Unmoving. Cratered in the dirt like a goblin-shaped omelet.
Ethan just groaned and mentally updated his internal list:
> Note to self: Figure out what the hell is happening to my body.
A moment of stunned silence fell across the battlefield.
Even the goblins paused, confused by the very human-shaped missile that had just nuked one of their kind into jelly.
The leader spared a shocked glance in Ethan's direction. His eyes widened.
'That thin, lean guy actually… tackled a goblin to death?'
One of the other fighters, sword mid-swing, blinked.
'Did he just—? Is he… one of those?'
The thought was left unfinished, but the awe in their expressions said it all.
---
[Goblin – Level 3 hunted.]
+5 EXP
---
Meanwhile, Ethan groaned as he tried to peel himself off the tree like an unfortunate sticker.
"Ugh… my back… my face… my life choices…"
He glanced behind him at the battered goblin now very much embedded in the dirt.
Then at the distance he had covered.
'That… was at least twenty meters…'
A beat passed.
His eyes widened.
'..I did that?'
He blinked again, trying to wrap his head around it.
'Was it the agility? I put four points in agility and now I'm a guided missile?!'
He rubbed his face, now scraped and bark-patterned like he tried to kiss the tree in a fit of affection.
'Fuck... I slammed my face into a tree like a dumb lunatic.'
He hissed as a sharp pain flared in his nose and cheek.
'It hurts like hellllll!'
Still groaning, he staggered to his feet with the grace of a concussed goat.
"Okay… okay… maybe I shouldn't charge headfirst like that again. Let's try using the sword next time."
'No, maybe I should just use my fist...if I can tackle the life out of a goblin then I can also punch the soul out of them'
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A/N: Special Thanks to 'FIRSTFallen' for engaging in comments and ofcourse for the power stone