The sensation of floating, of losing the body, of being just a thought suspended in nothingness... is wonderful. Sleep enveloped me in a calm that I rarely found.
But in an instant, that stillness was broken by the insistent pounding of a beeping against my head.
The alarm shrieked mercilessly. Its hateful sound broke my stillness.
—Shut up. —I murmured, delivering a clumsy blow. And calm returned.
I opened my eyes, seeing the ceiling of my room.
I sat up slowly, my body numb from sleep. I yawned, rubbing my eyes, and walked unsteadily toward the bathroom, whose door remained ajar with the light on.
And then I saw it.
—What...? —I muttered, approaching the mirror.
I stretched my eyelids carefully. My pupils shone in a deep blue, almost hypnotic.
—And my hair...? —I leaned in closer— Is it... black?
I touched the locks, incredulous. Looking at myself from head to toe, my body... was different. Taller, more defined. Honestly, it seemed like my face had been carved by the gods themselves.
But it was the necklace, fitted around my neck, that brought back the memories.
Histor's words exploded in my mind, remembering a sentence: "When you say Goodbye, Ego Body, the power will leave you."
I inhaled deeply, filling my lungs. Ready to return to being me.
No...
—I don't want to. —I said, with my hand squeezing the necklace.
I finally changed, I'm different. I don't want to let it go, especially for myself... I'm different. I'm free. For the first time I can see my reflection and not be rejected.
But...
—It's not me...
For some reason I sighed...
It's not me... maybe... that's good.
I put my hand in my hair, feeling its texture, but my head...
—Why is it shaking?
It's not me... that's supposed to be good, why don't I accept it?
My jaw tightened with these thoughts.
—Why... why am I not able to believe myself?
Just repeat them, just repeat them until you believe them... JUST REPEAT THEM UNTIL YOU BELIEVE IT!
My hands rested around my neck. The words didn't want to come out... or I wasn't letting them.
—Why... Why am I not able to say it out loud, if it's what I feel?
From my thoughts, my friend's words became audible, with that voice that had already abandoned me: "Lies hurt more when you tell them for yourself."
—Lee... thank you for being my friend...
I closed my eyes, inhaling the last oxygen that my body allowed itself.
—Goodbye... —I said, ready to culminate my decision. —Goodbye, Ego Body.
The transformation was instantaneous. My body reduced; features returned to normal. Hair returned to its pink tone.
I was myself again... but my reflection still rejected me. I clicked my tongue, unable to hold the gaze.
—Sorry... —I don't know who I was apologizing to, but I had to give them. —Hello, Ego Body.
In a blink, energy enveloped me again. I felt the heat of change, as if each cell awakened... it felt addictively good. Blue returned to my eyes, and hair turned dark as night.
This body... feels more comfortable. Too comfortable. Fatigue abandoned me, weakness vanished, and the sensation of power, of strength, of totality, was addictive.
I raised my hand, placing it on the bathroom door... and with a slight push, it detached from the frame.
—This is... total.
My eyes fixed on the necklace, still hanging from my neck. I touched it with my fingers, feeling the crystalline texture of the crimson stone. It was warm... as if it breathed.
—So... this is your power, god. —A smile formed on my face as new air entered through my nostrils, cleaner, fuller. —The power to reclaim my happiness.
An explosion shook the apartment. The walls vibrated, as if the building contained a contained roar. I went to the window, looking for the source of the blast.
On the horizon, a column of smoke rose like a dark omen. A smile formed on my face. This world seemed to be full of coincidences... or perhaps not.
—So this is what you meant, god. This is what it means to be your champion. —I squeezed the necklace with determination, feeling its weight like an oath.
My eyes, firm now, shone with a mixture of fear and purpose.
—The champion of Histor means... being a hero.
I climbed onto the edge of the balcony; the wind caressed my body with a welcome, shaking my clothes and my new dark hair.
The city stretched beneath my feet, a dark ocean of chaos that called to me. Without fear, and as a first conscious act, I took a step forward. Straight into a free fall.
The wind lashed my face violently, forcing me to narrow my eyes, but even so... I smiled.
A wide, brazen smile, like someone who, at last, feels the weight of the world release from their shoulders.
—Hello, Ego Body! —I shouted at the top of my lungs, letting my voice reverberate in the skies like a declaration of freedom.
—I am Ego, —a small irony came as a laugh. —the champion of a god.