Pavane's tough! This is a short story set after Mash saves Abydos.
Mash Burnedead
Schale's advisor, appointed by the missing Federal Student Council President. A kid, not an adult. From outside Kivotos, he seems frail compared to its sturdy students.
Or not.
He catches sniper bullets and throws them back. Punches tanks to scrap. Returns grenades before they explode. Hurls cars and trucks to crush artillery. Spins breakdances into tornadoes. Picks fights with the disciplinary chief (unintentionally). Wipes out Kaiser Corp's elite in seconds. Knees Kaiser's director mid-speech, grinds his face in the dirt, buries him in sand, and forces a debt reduction. Pile-drives the director. Solo-defeats a self-proclaimed god.
All effortlessly.
Loves cream puffs. Hobby: weightlifting.
But Mash is a kid—a second-year high schooler. A teacher and a student.
And students study.
"Here's the deal, Sensei," Rin Nanagami, Federal Student Council's chief administrator, said across the desk in Schale's office. "I'll tutor you, but I need to gauge your knowledge first. Take this mock exam."
"No way," Mash said.
"Excuse me?"
"Nope."
"So stubborn?"
"I can't… study's my kryptonite."
"It's necessary. As a teacher, you need some competence."
"Can muscles fix it?"
"They'll make it worse. Stop eyeing the door."
"Sharp, Rin. Genius."
"Flattery won't skip the test."
"Ugh…"
Mash slumped, head on the desk. His obsession with training left academics as his Achilles' heel. His battle prowess relied on animalistic instincts, and his cream puff-making and crafting came from dexterity, not intellect.
"We've got help," Rin said.
"Help?" Mash asked.
"They should be here…"
The door opened, revealing two Millennium Science School second-years: Yuuka Hayase, Seminar's accountant, and Noah Ushio, its secretary.
"Told you I'd be on time," Yuuka said.
"Brought tons of materials!" Noah added.
"Yuuka, Noah… been a while," Mash mumbled.
"Why the dead-man's face, Sensei?" Yuuka asked.
"Great job with Abydos!" Noah chirped.
"Thanks…" Mash muttered.
"Five-second pause? This is bad," Yuuka said.
"They're here to monitor and teach based on your results," Rin explained.
"This test seems too easy," Yuuka noted.
"It's a baseline," Rin said.
"You'll ace it, Sensei. It's basic stuff," Noah encouraged.
"History's a blank," Mash admitted.
"No history or geography yet. Just modern language, math, science, and ancient language," Rin said.
"Ugh…" Mash groaned.
"Let's do this," Yuuka said.
Mash tackled the hour-long test, sweating more than in any battle.
"Test results," Rin announced, adjusting her glasses. She held modern and ancient language papers, Yuuka math, Noah science. Rin and Yuuka looked stunned; Noah's face screamed funeral.
"Modern language: 30. Ancient language: 10," Rin said.
"Oh," Mash muttered.
"Math… 2," Yuuka said.
"Oof," Mash winced.
"Science: 3. Probably luck on multiple-choice," Noah said.
"Ow…" Mash whimpered.
"Total: 45. Way below average," Rin concluded.
"Noooo!" Mash wailed.
The scores were abysmal, so bad the trio doubted their grading. Raised in the mountains, Mash had basic education from his grandfather but lacked higher learning. Math and science were irrelevant to his life, and Kivotos' curriculum clashed with his magic-world knowledge.
"Why's 20×5 equal 2020202020?!" Yuuka exclaimed.
"The author's intent question… 'Something great got super great and feels awesome' is too vague!" Rin said.
"Sensei, the sun doesn't rise in the north. A mistake, right?" Noah asked.
"W-w-w-what…" Mash stammered.
His panic shook the room like an earthquake. Rin and Noah wobbled; Yuuka fell on her butt.
"Calm down, Sensei!" Yuuka shouted.
"The tank-busting Sensei's this rattled? He's been fighting on instinct alone? That's… impressive," Noah said.
"He hates studying that much," Rin noted.
"How'd he handle reports?" Yuuka wondered.
Rin recalled Mash's reports:
"Big missile guy and tank went wild, so I punched them."
"Robot guy was noisy, so I stopped him."
"Huge snake showed up, so I beat it up."
More diary than report. Kindergarten-level.
"We'll have to support him," Rin said.
"Didn't expect this level," Noah admitted.
"You guys good at studying?" Mash asked.
"Of course!" Yuuka snapped. "I wouldn't say it otherwise!"
"Studying's effort training. Keep at it daily. Knowledge never hurts, and I don't want regrets later," Rin said, smiling.
Her words hit Mash like a fireball. He trembled harder.
"They'll call me 'Brainless Sensei' or 'Dumb-Dumb Teacher'… I can't let Abydos' kids down," Mash muttered.
"We've got time off to teach you," Yuuka offered.
"Teach me… please!" Mash gritted his teeth.
The trio dove in. "Fail the next test, and no cream puffs or training for a month," Rin warned.
"What?!" Mash gasped.
"Get serious," Rin said.
"Evil Rin…"
"Who's evil?!"
For cream puffs and muscles, Mash had to pass.
"Math first," Yuuka said. "Basics only. Forget advanced stuff. Memorize solutions and apply them."
"Got it," Mash nodded.
Minutes later, he zoned out.
"Science next. Memorize terms and connect them," Noah said.
Mash drooled, hair a mess.
"English. Memorize, but understand meanings—" Rin stopped. "Sensei, you're bleeding?"
Gurgle… splutter… Mash coughed blood.
"Modern language. Understand words, read carefully—" Rin continued.
Mash's eyes teared, body shaking, blood trickling.
BOOM!
"Sensei?!" Rin gasped.
"Explosion?!" Yuuka yelped.
"Did his brain short-circuit?!" Noah panicked.
"Is that possible?!" Yuuka shouted.
"I… can't… do this…" Mash's head smoked, afro charred.
"You can't give up," Rin said.
"No cream puffs or training if you fail," Yuuka reminded.
"Demons…" Mash whimpered.
Hours passed. Mash struggled, weak protests escaping. Then, Imaginary Grandpa appeared.
"Mash, this isn't you," he said.
"Grandpa?" Mash gasped.
"You charge headfirst, no matter the odds. That's Mash Burnedead."
"Right… that's me."
"I'm here, Rin's here. Fight on!"
"No more weakness… I'll do this!"
"Who's he talking to?" Rin asked.
"Hallucinations?" Yuuka wondered.
"Studying's breaking him," Noah said.
Mash studied relentlessly—after cream puffs, during training, post-work. Even while stopping rogue students, he muttered facts.
"He's coming at us, reciting!" a student cried.
"The sun rises east, sets west, same in both hemispheres…" Mash droned, dodging attacks with a textbook in hand.
"How's he dodging without looking?!" another shouted.
Rin's group, like proud mothers, supported him.
Test day arrived.
"I did all I could," Mash said. "Let's do this."
"Begin!" Rin announced.
Mash's aura shifted—battlefield intensity, a soldier facing death. His neck twisted oddly, but he powered through.
"Here's Noah's lesson," he muttered.
"No talking, or you're disqualified," Rin warned.
"Sorry."
He tackled the test, confident most questions were solvable.
"Time's up!" Rin called.
"Results," Rin said, handing Mash the test.
He looked.
Modern Language: 58
Math: 50
Science: 47
Ancient Language: 69
Barely above failing.
"Congratulations, Sensei!" Rin smiled.
"You did it!" Yuuka cheered.
"We're proud," Noah said. "You worked hard."
"Well…" Mash grinned. "Not bad, huh?" Smug face.
"Don't get cocky!" Rin snapped.
Mash realized he'd been helped as much as he helped others, grateful for Rin, Yuuka, and Noah.