Day 12:
Waking up, in silence was wonderful, but yet again rising from slumber was the epitome of my cursed life.
For the briefest moment I could enjoy the silence, the air that was pure, but all of this would be violated, rendered null by the hate inside me, every damn breath of mine is made of hate, of pain, and scorn for this country that hopefully is no more.
Yet today, it is worse, magic was at my fingertips and yet it is no more- for whatever nonsensical reason this damned world could manage to summon.
I really do not feel like training or meditating, I simply went around scavenging some food, which was becoming increasingly scarce, cooking and eating with a now appeased family-on the surface that is- while the shadow of delirium and insanity lingered right above their heads.
I found myself in my room, writing these words in the diary, and I am bored.
Incredibly bored.
"System"
Health 100/100
Mana Points 0/0
Strength 21,5
Intelligence 99
Endurance 23
Control 94
Speed 21,5
Perception 90
Dexterity 21,5
Mentality 107
Luck 5
Recovery 5
Stat Points 41
Coins 40
No change from yesterday.
Still, I decided to do something different this time, training skills!
There was one hypothesis I wanted to try, so I went outside accompanied by my trusty daggers in hand and simply began walking.
I did not walk with a destination in mind, but with the act of walking in mind and evidently after a few minutes:
Walking level 1.
Intent had a role in acquiring skills, but if so, how did I get mana sense if I did not sense a trickle of mana beforehand or was even trying to sense it.
Running was even easier, but while trying to perfect my running form and thereby trying to perfect my breathing I learned an additional skill.
Running level 1.
Breathing level 1.
Indeed, it is the act of consciously doing the activity that …
Then how the hell did I get blade mastery?
I do admit dagger mastery was accurate…
No, it was not, I was fighting for my life and I …
You know what, forget it, it is a darned magical system, why would it need damn rules?!
Instead of wasting my time trying to rationalize it, which is a good enough objective but not in times of crisis and possibly starvation.
I will simply enjoy my time trying to find new skills.
*****
KAMEHAME learned.
Ultra Instinct learned.
Appraisal learned.
Slavery learned.
Parallel thinking learned.
Joke aside, I did learn a good number of skills and with-it stat points, that I invested.
*New Skills:
Walking 1.
Running 1.
Breathing 1.
Throw 1.
Accuracy 1.
Powered 1.
Side-step 1.
Rolling 1.
Unarmed 1.
Focused 1.
Jumping 1.
Climbing 1.
Punch 1.
Kick 1.
Stab 1.
Slash 1.
Farting 1.
Peeing 1.
Some skills will not be given any explanation for dignity reasons, and some I do not even understand how I did not unlock earlier.
But before the fun part, training comes first.
Working out was a bit boring, always the same but stronger, which was incredibly satisfying, but nonetheless it was a bit redundant, when will I be able to lift pillars of stone...
Still, in the blink of an eye, my grueling physical session came to an end, like all good things, and then I moved on to something that made my mood plummet despite the new skills.
Meditation.
I usually did it in a stable and calm mind, anger being normal to me, but this time I was simply distraught and to be honest depressed to have magic literally taken from me.
I sat on my bed, too paranoid to do it anywhere else, knowing that and that is if some neighbors had managed to live till today, they would want to kill me, and I completely defenseless while meditating.
I did not delve into the meditative zone, but simply sat there breathing calmly, reigning my emotions and trying to see the better part of today and tomorrow.
A short while passed and …
Damn magic really did play a trick on me.
Yes, I did lose my level 1 mana sense, but it did not mean magic barred for me.
First, I can still raise my mana stat with stat points as I should have done with Health.
Second, magic may be a dream of mine, but it is not The dream, it was just a path for me.
And the frosting on the cake: I was unusually emotional, which to be honest is not that bad as being emotionless is dull.
So, magic unlocked or to be more accurate reignited my emotions?
Obviously, it's MAGIC!
I remember being like a kid when I witness… that "scenery" yesterday.
Hahaha, I got an unexpected boon from magic without even touching a single speck of mana, it's probably a bad sign as it means I was more machine than man, but to me it only means one thing.
Tomorrow can only be better.
And meditation will make it better.
I delved back into the zone, voices again assailing me, but this time I was simply glad that I could delve amidst those voices, swimming amongst them.
As I opened my eyes, and for the first time in months I feel good.
Meditation level 4.
My skill did not level up, unlike last time, which to be honest did not displease me, but intrigued me, I had the same "epiphany" as last time and yet it did not increase, maybe there really is more to it than simple logic.
I did say previously that it is magic, in its essence, it is mystic, but I said because I was simply too lazy and depressed to try and rationalize the system, but now I am really starting to believe that there is some "mystical" part to the system, something that has no logic.
Well, only time will tell us if my hypothesis is true or I am just a lazy bum, hahaha.
Now it is Spending Time!!!
Health 100/100
Mana Points 0/0
Strength 30,1
Intelligence 111
Endurance 30,2
Control 106
Speed 30,1
Perception 102
Dexterity 30,1
Mentality 119
Luck 10
Recovery 10
Stat Points 11
Coins 40
I let out a long breath of satisfaction, this day couldn't get any even better, it felt like my body was reborn anew.
And… Ouga ?
Ouga Bouga ?
Sorry, my brain just shut down for a second.
Mana sense level 1.
Okay, simply the best day ever.
I did not, did not care for my starving stomach, I delved into the world of mana.
And to be honest, it was a bit disappointing, it was not the same unreal and majestic sight as when I had delved into that "realm".
It was what one would expect from mana, mana surrounding me, in some regions brighter, in others completely devoid of mana, taking many shapes, simply existing.
It was like looking at a mini nebula, breathtaking but not the magnificence or uniqueness of the Magic dimension.
But one would lie if this was not simply magnificent in its own right.
But now, I had more pressing matters.
I tried willing the mana to move, nothing.
I tried different approaches, yet nothing managed to work.
Maybe I needed to have inner mana to interact with the ambient mana?
I was tempted to invest in mana, but something in me felt strange at the idea of doing it, my paranoid senses were tingling.
So, I did the only thing one could do, I became a pervert.
If those mana blobs were people than I was "staring" at them like one big weirdo, I guess they must be more like people in their homes being stared by a stranger from their windows.
Son Blob, shaking in his mana boots: "Father, that strange creature is still looking at us."
Daughter Blob, scared sh, manaless: "Yes father I feel strangely unsafe and vulnerable under his gaze."
Father Blob, unshaken: "Don't worry, he probably is just looking at something on the material world, and it is not a reason to not finish your homework…"
Mother Blob, tired of her husband weird antics: "What do you mean homework, there is no homework in the mana world."
Father Blob, trying to scratch the back of a head he did not have: "Ah how silly of me."
Boisterous laughter from non-existent viewers.
In a more insidious tone: "how silly of me"
Follow us for the next episode of Modern Blobily.
Pretty good story, right?
I would make a great sitcom writer, hahaha.
Who am I talking to?
I am alone in a darned pitiful bedroom in a magical apocalypse.
I will stop thinking about how one mana blob would feel about me ogling them and defiling their dignity.
And focus more on raising my mana Sense.
Mana sense level 2.
It brought barely any improvements, but I could make some blurry edges of the blobs.
Before leaving I went around visiting the goblins and their guardian spirits, they too were having an increasingly hard time finding food, despite the little creatures' ability to eat even spoiled meat.
We would probably need some new source of food, I did see some ration packs on the Portal a few days ago and I asserted my assumption by visiting it later on, for that endeavor we will need around 100 coins per person.
Well, gotta hunt those damn wolves I saw a few days ago.
I left the guardian spirit on an agreement to go and kill the wolves together.
I also collected the water barrels that the goblins left in front of the portals, I did not even see a shadow of a civilized goblin, probably due to the system contract or whatever they have restraining them.
Now for the not so funny part, my family.
I did not need to use my diplomacy today and thank the system for that or I might have killed someone.
In fact, the mood was as merry as last night, but the traces of the anxiety and the toll this catastrophe scenario were really showing themselves.
Whatever, I just need to be alive and to see their brethren burn by my hand, hopefully literally with my magic.
Time to sleep.
And so, I lay in my tiny bed, waiting for dream of the endless to take me to his realm, for a better life that is not, but then I remember:I am on the path of a better life, whatever it exists or not is mine to prove.
So, the only things I wish to dream about are the Pinguins and their quest for The Almighty Pizza.