I told you this was putting me in a seriously bad mood.
Anyway. I open the door…
And then…
OH NO.
The moment I see him standing on the doorstep, only one word comes out of my mouth:
— Shit...
And SLAM — I shut the door right in his face.
— YURI, WHO IS IT??? yells Neomie from the bedroom.
— No one! No one!
But Mr. Pain-in-the-Ass starts knocking like a madman.
— HEY!!! OPEN THIS DOOR!!!
— GO AWAY, GET LOST! Leave me alone!
— YURIDIA, OPEN THIS FREAKING DOOR!!!
— NO!!!
— STOP BEING A CHILD, DAMN IT!!!
— And what are you even doing here, huh?!
— Let me in!!
— NO! And how the hell do you even know my name?!
— Yuri, what the hell is going on out there?! groans Neomie, entering the living room.
— NOTHING! It's nothing!
— Oh yeah? Then why is that idiot behind the door screaming like a maniac? I can't sleep with all this yelling! Who even IS he?!
— I TOLD YOU — NOBODY!!
Eliz walks in, looking half-asleep. Meanwhile, the idiot is still banging on the door.
— What's all this noise? she mutters.
— Pfff... sighs Neomie.
She nudges me aside and—
Opens the door.
— NOOOO!!! I scream in panic.
— Thanks, gorgeous ;) the guy says, stepping inside with a grin.
Neomie gives me a wide-eyed "OMG HOT GUY ALERT" look and bites her lower lip.
Yep. That's our secret code for "WARNING: Absolute hottie approaching."
I let out a loud sigh to show just how pissed off I am.
— Neomie, Eliz... meet Noah.
(CONGRATS to everyone who guessed right. )
— Wow, you could've at least warned us he was super hot, Neomie comments.
— She did say he was hot, Eliz chimes in with a smirk.
Are they stupid or just trying to embarrass me on purpose???
He's literally right here. He hears everything. And now I'm blushing like crazy.
— No, she said hot. Not SUPER hot, Neomie clarifies.
— WILL YOU TWO SHUT UP?!
I think they finally got the message.
— So I'm hot, huh? Noah smirks at me.
— No. You're ugly. I was just trying to be nice for once.
— Liar.
Shit. Busted.
— I'm going to bed, Eliz yawns. I'm exhausted.
— Same. Night, babe. Don't make too many babies, okay? Neomie teases.
— Just go to bed and shut up, love 😒
So now I'm left alone with the moron.
— Okay, first of all: what the hell are you doing here? Second: how do you know my name? And third: why MY apartment?!
— Relax, babe. One question at a time.
— Drop the "babe" thing. Now.
— First, I've been on campus for a year. Second, remember that alley during the party with your Lulu?
— Lucas.
— Whatever. I heard your name there. And now I came to borrow some pasta. We're throwing a big party at my place and ran out of food. So... I'm here to beg.
— Simple solution. You see the sidewalk downstairs? Go sit there and pray someone has pity on your poor starving face and gives you something. Should work in like two minutes.
— You're such a sweetheart.
— I get that a lot, thanks.
— A real angel fallen from heaven… just didn't hit the ground hard enough, sadly.
— Go hang yourself?
— SOOO… got any pasta? I'm starving.
— If I give you the damn pasta, will you leave?
(Honestly, I don't even care about the pasta. I don't like it. Yep. I'm a weird Italian. Even my friends yell at me for it.)
— I'll be gone in two seconds flat.
I check the cupboard. Bingo. Two packs of spaghetti.
I hand them over and walk him to the door.
— Thanks, doll.
He kisses me on the forehead. EW.
And guess what?
He opens the door right across the hall from ours.
— TELL ME YOU DON'T LIVE THERE!!!
— I don't live there!
THANK GOD.
— For real??
Stupid smile of hope forming on my face.
— Nah, but you told me to say it, so I did.
POOF.
(The sound of my smile dying instantly.)
— I'm gonna cry.
— Don't worry, babe. You'll love it ;)
Night!
I slam the door without replying.
I go to bed wondering what I did to deserve this.
Why is God punishing me like this?
I fall asleep five minutes later.
---
3 a.m. Knock at the door. Again.
No one moves.
— Mmmhhh, Yuri, can you check please... mumbles Neomie.
— Nooo… Eliz, please…
— You guys are the WORST.
Two minutes later—
— Yuri, I think it's for you again.
— ME?!
— I knew we shouldn't have moved in with you. First night and we've already got a damn visitor list.
I get up.
— We'll talk when YOU bring your ten boyfriends over, okay? ;)
I head to the door, and guess who it is?
Yep. Noah. AGAIN.
— You said you'd disappear in two seconds!
— Yeah, but I reappear fast, babe. And you LOVE it.
— STOP CALLING ME BABE. What do you want this time?
— Got any booze?
— We just moved in, FYI.
— Any beer?
— NO. And you should quit drinking. You reek of alcohol!
— Well, too bad. Thanks anyway, neighbor!
Neighbor.
He called me neighbor.
I want to cry.
Back to bed.
4 a.m.
Knock knock knock.
— I'M GONNA MURDER THAT STUPID PIECE OF SHIT!!! yells Neomie. I don't care how hot he is, he's a complete idiot!!
— Told you.
— You're going this time!
— Wait. If we don't go, maybe he'll give up?
But no. He's not giving up. He KNOWS we're home. And he's totally wasted.
— GO OPEN THAT DOOR BEFORE I LOSE IT!!! Eliz yells.
Fine. I obey. Eliz getting mad? Not worth the risk.
I open the door and—
It's him. Again.
But this time, he's not just Noah.
He's NOAH THE FREAKING NIGHTMARE.
— You know what? I'll just leave the door open. That way, you can come in, take what you need, and LEAVE US THE HELL ALONE!!!
— Uh, you wouldn't happen to have a mop, would you? Lance puked everywhere. Couldn't handle the booze.
— Help yourself.
I show him where it is and leave the door open.
Not locking it. Not worth it.
---
6 a.m.
Knock knock knock.
— That's it. I'M COMMITTING MURDER THIS TIME!!! screams Neomie.
— I'm going.
I open the door.
Guess who.
Like every single hour of the night (except 5 a.m., if you noticed) — Noah.
I speak with the tiniest, deadliest voice possible:
— If you knock on this door one more time, I will SLAM your face into the wall. Got it?
— Yes, ma'am.
— I didn't even lock the door so you could walk in quietly and not wake up
THE ENTIRE BUILDING.
— I know. But… I need your help.
Behind him, I spot a few guys—three, maybe four—but I'm way too tired to care.
— What do you w...