WebNovels

Chapter 163 - 163: Paimon: “Why Do You Keep Calling Me Emergency Food?! Am I Not a Person?! Also… What’s a ‘Booty Captain’?”

"This phone looks so fun!"

Amber's face lit up with surprise and delight.

Not only could it send messages across long distances — it could also take pictures and record videos!

She'd always been jealous that Paimon had a camera to record everything during their travels.

But now that she had a phone of her own, her missions would never be boring again!

She could chat with Eula anytime, and capture the beautiful scenery of Mondstadt along the way…

The thought alone filled Amber with joy.

Eula, however, was thinking more practically.

Sure, she liked the photography features too — but what really mattered was the communication ability.

With this, coordination within the Knights of Favonius would become much smoother.

Information could be shared instantly across great distances.

"This phone is amazing."

Xiangling also looked envious after hearing the explanation.

If she had one, she could chat with her friends no matter where she went.

"Xiangling," Eula explained gently, "Captain Jean said there aren't many of these devices yet — and they're very important…"

She would've loved to give her friend one, but for now, that simply wasn't possible.

"It's fine!" Xiangling waved her hand cheerfully.

"Once I earn one myself, we can add each other as friends then!"

Then she suddenly brightened.

"Oh right! Captain Jean said we can take selfies, right?

Come on, let's take one together as a keepsake!"

Hearing that, both Eula and Amber perked up immediately.

They found a good spot and began posing and snapping photos.

Truly — no matter where you are, girls love taking pictures.

Inside the manga shop…

Jean entered and immediately approached the counter, bowing slightly in thanks.

"Boss Han, thank you for stepping in to help us."

"We're all friends here," Han Feng said, waving a hand.

"No need to be so polite — besides, the Doctor was the one who provoked the manga shop. I just responded accordingly."

Jean smiled awkwardly.

She admired his calmness — though she herself could never be that casual about it.

Her seriousness came with her role, after all.

"A-alright."

She nodded softly.

Then her eyes landed on the pair nearby.

"Lumine, you're here too?"

"Mm-hm!" Lumine smiled.

"It's noon, so I came back through the Anywhere Door to rest for a bit."

With that miraculous tool, traveling had become effortless.

She could take her time exploring the world now, enjoying the journey rather than rushing through it.

"That tool really is incredible," Jean sighed.

In the past, it took half a day to travel from Mondstadt to Liyue — even with the Bamboo Copter device that reached speeds of 80 kilometers per hour, the flight would still take hours.

But with the Anywhere Door, you could arrive instantly just by thinking of your destination.

It was almost beyond imagination — something only Boss Han could possibly provide.

Honestly, Jean thought this reward might be even more practical than her new phone.

Speaking of which—

Jean took a phone from her pocket and handed it to Lumine.

"Lumine, this is one of the rewards I got from Boss Han — it's called a cell phone.

You can use it to communicate across long distances."

She briefly explained the phone's functions.

"This one's for you. That way, if something comes up, you can contact me anytime."

"Wow, something this amazing exists?"

Lumine's eyes sparkled as she took the phone and examined it curiously.

Just as Jean had said — it could take photos and record videos.

"It's kind of like Paimon's camera!"

She'd often seen Paimon filming everything along their travels, and had secretly been a bit envious.

Now she had her own — and it could do even more!

"Boss Han, let's add each other as friends!"

Lumine ran over, holding up the phone eagerly.

"Sure."

Han Feng smiled and accepted the request.

He didn't bother with fancy nicknames — "Lumine" was a perfectly nice name as is.

Seeing the friend request go through, Lumine beamed.

Now she could message Boss Han anytime!

"Captain Jean, Lumine has one… what about me?"

Paimon's voice piped up immediately, her eyes gleaming with desire.

The camera and video features didn't matter much to her — her own recording device was far better.

But the messaging feature? That was gold!

Just imagine — being able to message Boss Han anytime, to "report" updates about Lumine…

Jean looked a little apologetic.

"Sorry, Paimon. There aren't many phones right now.

Since you're always with Lumine, could you two share one for now?

Once we get more, I'll make sure you have your own."

"Share… with Lumine?"

Paimon blinked and turned toward her partner, who was giving her a very unamused look.

This… might be difficult.

But for the sake of the phone, she steeled herself.

"Hehe, Lumine~ how about I give you a shoulder massage?

Then you can let me play with the phone for a bit?"

Paimon's tiny hands went to work, kneading Lumine's shoulders with surprising skill.

Truly, Paimon was a professional at currying favor.

To get Han's food, she flattered Han.

To get the phone, she pampered Lumine.

Lumine sighed and closed her eyes, enjoying the massage.

Honestly, this was the only time the little creature ever acted this considerate.

So this was the joy Han always talked about…

"Fine. Here, take it."

She handed the phone over with an exasperated look.

"Hehe, thanks Lumine!"

Paimon grinned ear to ear as she took the device and immediately made her own account.

"Boss Han, come on — let's add each other!"

Han Feng accepted her request — but this time, he gave her a special nickname:

"Emergency Food."

Paimon froze.

"Boss Han! Why do you always call me Emergency Food?!

Don't I count as a person too?!"

Her indignant shout echoed through the shop.

Then her eyes fell on Han Feng's contact list — and she blinked in confusion.

"Wait… who's 'Booty Captain'? Is that Captain Jean?!"

The others crowded around to peek.

Sure enough, Han's contact list was full of ridiculous nicknames —

"Booty Captain," "Beef Noodle Master," "Rich Lady," and countless others.

Paimon's jaw dropped.

"Wow… I didn't know you could use friend notes like that!"

She was absolutely stunned — and, admittedly, a little inspired.

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