Zephyr thrust his hand forward with all the dramatic flair of a pro gamer pulling off a clutch play, his confidence bolstered by years of muscle memory.
"Let's do this!" he bellowed, bracing for a surge of arcane power.
Instead, confetti exploded from his palm—pink, green, and glittery, cascading in a festive shower that would've been perfect for a child's birthday bash.
A triumphant horn blared in the background.
A ridiculous BWAHHHHH-DA-DAAAAH! that echoed through the tavern like a taunting fanfare.
One of the Byte-Wolves paused mid-snarl, its glitching head tilting in what could only be described as canine confusion, as if questioning the absurdity of its existence.
"…Did you just attack it with a birthday party?" Lyra yelled, her voice a mix of disbelief and exasperation as she dodged a snapping jaw, her staff flaring with another burst of flame.
Zephyr stumbled back, his face flushing with mortification as glitter rained down around him.
"Hey! That could've worked!" he protested, though his voice lacked conviction.
Another Byte-Wolf lunged, its glitched claws raking the air.
Zephyr dove under a swinging table, narrowly avoiding a swipe that splintered the wood above him.
He rolled across the floor, knocking over a plate of glowing mushrooms that pulsed with faint light, and popped up on the other side, panting, his heart racing like he was stuck in a speedrun with no checkpoints.
"New plan!" he shouted, ducking as a mug sailed past his head. "You cast spells, I'll scream supportively!"
Lyra gritted her teeth, her eyes blazing as she unleashed another firebolt, the spell cleaving a Byte-Wolf clean in half with a sizzling hiss.
The air filled with the acrid stench of burnt code, like plastic melting in a microwave, sharp and nauseating.
The tavern descended into pandemonium.
Patrons scrambled for cover, some diving under tables while others swung wildly at the wolves with whatever was at hand.
One burly adventurer hurled a stool, missed spectacularly, and punched himself square in the nose, collapsing with a groan.
The ferret from earlier darted across the floor, screeching as a Byte-Wolf chased it in frantic, glitching loops, leaving trails of pixelated sparks.
Zephyr sucked in a shaky breath, his interface blinking again:
[CHAOS ECHO: Recast Attempt – Lyra Vex's Firebolt]
Warning: Interference Detected
Alternate Result: Confetti. Again.
"NO—cancel, cancel, cancel!" he shouted, waving his hands like he could physically dismiss the prompt.
Too late.
Another burst of confetti erupted from his hand, this time accompanied by the unmistakable wail of a kazoo solo, shrill and absurdly cheerful.
The glittery cloud enveloped a nearby Byte-Wolf, which sneezed—a bizarre, digital achoo—and shook its head, momentarily distracted.
Before it could recover, a Byte-Wolf lunged straight for Zephyr, its glitching maw wide, red eyes blazing with malice.
He froze, his legs rooted to the spot as time seemed to slow—until BOOM.
Lyra's firebolt slammed into the creature from the side, a roaring inferno that incinerated it in a blaze of righteous fury, leaving nothing but a scattering of smoldering pixels.
Zephyr collapsed onto his elbows, his breath ragged as he stared up at Lyra.
She stood over him, her staff crackling with residual heat, her braid slightly singed at the ends, her expression a mix of exhaustion and barely restrained irritation.
"You're welcome," she said flatly, her voice cutting through the fading chaos like a blade.
Zephyr managed a weak thumbs-up, still sprawled on the floor, glitter clinging to his hair like a badge of shame.
"I… softened them up for you," he panted, forcing a grin despite the pounding in his chest.
Lyra's eyes narrowed, but the faintest twitch of her lips betrayed a flicker of amusement before she turned away, her staff still glowing with latent power.
The tavern's survivors began to emerge from their hiding spots, muttering curses and checking for missing limbs, while the ferret triumphantly reclaimed its hood.
GlitchWitch hovered above Zephyr, her sprite now sporting a tiny cheerleader outfit, complete with pom-poms that flickered in and out of existence.
"Great teamwork, SparkleBoy," she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "You really brought the party to this fight."