Andrea looked back at Julian, who gave her a curt nod before heading towards the exit. She had wanted to call out to him, to get him to stay and support her, but she knew that was a fool's gambit. Even a slow learner eventually gets it after a while, she thought, watching the immense man leave the entrance hall and disappear to go about his life. A life that he obviously does not want me to—
"Ms. Salem." Andrea turned and nodded her head, "I'm sorry, Professor. I'm ready – I'm just... a little scared, is all."
He gave her a reassuring smile that almost restored her faith in humanity. Professor Mongold approached her tentatively before placing a firm hand on her shoulder, "Understandable, given the circumstances. But just know that I have done this hundreds of times before, and none have failed. For there is no failure here, Andrea. In life, we run our own race at our own speed, this process is just establishing where your starting line is."
Had Helena not let her know about the end-of-year sacrifice thing, she might have smiled and allowed herself to be uplifted. This race ends badly if I don't run it fast enough...
Andrea took a deep breath and exhaled, sending up a silent prayer before balling her fists, "I'm ready when you are, Prof."
Mongold's smile grew. "Ah, there she is. After you."
Andrea walked into the room and... found it to be like any other office. For some reason, she had expected something more... more? But it was an office that fit the vibe of something you'd have found at St. Mary's, with green and olive-green wallpaper and white laminated floorboards. Between the door and Prof's oak-wood desk were two finely made chairs, and before that, a Persian rug depicting... Andrea frowned and cocked her head. Is someone being decapitated with a guillotine?
"The Reign of Terror," he said, a sickening smile crossing his face. "Almost 30 000 Frenchmen were killed, either by guillotine or in prison, and all without trial."
Whatever reassurance she got out of him earlier died immediately. Andrea gulped, "Yeah... Ended with a failed suicide attempt, I think."
"Good," he said, moving towards his desk, "Maximilien Robespierre. A great man."
Andrea raised an eyebrow; the name brought back facts and memories from her time in History class. "The man who led the Reign of Terror, something that killed almost 30,000 people, most of whom were probably innocent, was a great man?"
He sat down and crossed his legs, gesturing for Andrea to join him, "Probably? How do we know that they were innocent, Ms. Salem?"
"How do we know they were guilty?" she asked. He shrugged. "For their crimes of being against the Revolution? Only God knows. But for their crimes of being French? Coupable."
This entire city is filled with whackos, she thought, moving to sit down in front of Mongold.
"Yeah well, it be like that. Ended slavery too; would've thought that would've been your first go to," she said. Mongold shrugged, "He did, in a manner of speaking. But also, not really. Had he made a little Italian artillery officer number thirty-thousand-and-one, then I might have given him such an accolade. But it is good to see that you know your stuff. You seem to be a good student, Ms. Salem."
Andrea mulled over taking the compliment or showing some humility, "Not particularly, Professor. It is more like I am a good listener, rather than just a good student."
"Your grades would suggest otherwise," he said. "But I like the distinction. One should know their strengths. Are you ready?"
She nodded her head; her hands balled into fists again. Come what may, God won't let me down...
Professor Mongold removed his shades and revealed eyes without irises. Andrea pulled off not showing her shock or revulsion.
"Close your eyes, Andrea. I will walk you through the creation of your Grimoire. Through the creation of your Grimoire, your connection to the Source will be fully realized and your abilities to manifest your powers will be granted to you."
She exhaled any last reservations she had, now fully committed to being a part of this world, even if it kills me...
Andrea's eyes shut closed, "I'm ready when you are."
"Imagine yourself floating in the ocean, surrounded by the sea and only the sea."
There was something about his voice that forced her to focus on it and nothing else, and it snagged a hold of her imagination. Andrea imagined herself on her back, floating through the ocean, staring up at the night sky. There were stars, millions of them, and a silver moon that looked like it was smiling at her.
She had gotten so little sleep that had Mongold stopped talking, Andrea would have drifted away.
"Good. Now imagine that there are three tethers holding you in place. They connect to your mind, they connect to your body, and they connect to your soul. Each has its own color, each has a hold onto you that is different."
Andrea could picture it as if she really were there, rolling onto her stomach to allow the tethers to connect to the carabiners that sprouted from her body. One in the middle of her forehead, another went to where her heart was, and a third where her belly button was positioned. The tethers locked on and slowly began to pull her down.
She almost lost her nerve, but Professor Mongold's hand found itself on her shoulder, "Do not fight it, Andrea. You are safe, you are home. You cannot be killed by the thing that feeds you. Allow it to take you."
Andrea nodded her head and allowed her body to go numb, to be pulled deep into the ocean headfirst, diving ever further.
"Good Andrea, well done. You are safe, you are home. Open your eyes now."
She had expected herself to be in the office again, sat in the exact same chair she had been lounging in when they began this experience. Where the hell am I? she asked, looking around to find herself in the ocean she had thought was only a part of her imagination.
Somewhere safe, Mongold said, swimming next to her. He did not look anything remotely close to himself. Instead, he appeared as a mix of three colors. A good mix of red and yellow, but they were dominated by indigo. Andrea smiled, and somewhere that feels like home?
A good listener indeed, Mongold said, slowly swimming towards her. He held out his hands, pay attention now, Andrea, for this is the important part. Do as I do, understand?
Andrea nodded, battling to keep herself upright, is my head supposed to feel so heavy?
Andrea...
Sorry...
Andrea held out her hands like Mongold was doing, Focus on your three tethers, imagine them disconnecting themselves from your body, and instead, funneling themselves into your hands…
She did as instructed, imagining the clicking sound of each tether freeing themselves from the carabiners in her head, heart and belly. The tethers successfully disconnected and floated in front of her, and Andrea focused hard on guiding them into her hands, but something was keeping them from fully obeying her.
She frowned before closing her eyes and straining hard to force them into her palm. You're going to have to try a little harder than that, Andy Baby. Andrea opened her eyes and looked around for the source of the voice, but saw nothing but the ocean and a confused Mongold looking at her. Ms. Salem?
Sorry, Professor, she thought, closing her eyes again and, this time, successfully willing her tethers into her hands. She could see them now, and they came in the same colors Mongold had covered himself in. The red and indigo were faint, very faint, but the yellow was bright enough to illuminate her hands somewhat.
Focus on the colors, Andrea. Focus on molding and melding them into your Grimoire, your book. Let them come together to represent you and your magic.
Andrea closed her eyes and thought of her diary then, not of the diary when she was a little girl writing away about her track meets or boys, but of when she had used it to write down everything she knew of magic and Riggs and the Source. Slowly, the warm tethers in her hands began to form into something familiar, and Andrea opened her eyes to see a book now lay in them. It was not particularly thick, but it had a hardcover of deep purple, with a black fleur-de-lis plastered on the middle.
She smiled and held up her Grimoire proudly to show Professor Mongold, Look at what I got here, Professor!
Mongold smiled and snapped her fingers, and Andrea found herself back in her chair in the Professor's office.
"Well done," he said. "But make it a point not to show your Grimoire to anyone, unless you truly trust them. And I would suggest not even then. We sorcerers are no different from those fake magicians you'd see pulling a rabbit out of a hat on your television set, Ms. Salem. We are liars and con artists, first, foremost, always."
Andrea nodded her head, "Don't believe a word a magician says. Not even you. Got it!"
The professor smiled, "Oh Ms. Salem, especially me. You young sorcerers are so open and honest; perhaps it is growing up in this social media age that has you acting so brash and free. We older sorcerers though," – something wicked flashed between those clear white eyes – "We are the masters of deception."
She took that to heart, "Okay, so I should never tell the truth, ever. Not even once. Got it."
He chuckled and sat back, "The Headmaster had warned me that you thought of yourself as someone who is funny. Glad to see you are behaving more yourself."
Andrea did feel more herself, and even felt rejuvenated. The town sucking a bit of her soul did not hit the same now, and the assessment being more spiritual-awakening than an actual examination helped make her feel less imposter-y.
"I'm glad too, Professor. I can't put into words how appreciative I am by the fact that you've been so kind to me," Andrea said, the emotions from her earlier bout with Julian slowly coming back. "It's kinda hard to feel welcome when no one is actually welcoming, you know?"
Professor Mongold stood and slowly approached her, leaning against the desk in front of her. He then said, "I hope you know just how much I appreciate that, Andrea. I became a professor to try and change lives, to make an impact with the next generation. I myself would not be here had someone not come along to make me feel more welcome."
His kindness ebbed away some as he leaned in closer, "But, girl, I would not be doing my duty to you as a professor if I did not warn you. You are in a world that hates the weak, that hates that the weak and strong alike must eat from the same plate. I do not mean to be rude, or scare you, but I am certain that you yourself are aware that you are not particularly… powerful."
She grit her teeth, hearing this for the umpteenth time, "Yeah, I know—"
"No," he said, "You do not. But you will. Your physical and spiritual sources of power are frail, the spiritual more than the physical. You will never unlock an animus, and you will not have the magical reserves to become a powerful spell caster."
Andrea felt like she was being pummeled from all sides, Helena, Nate, Julian… all of them think that I am weak. That I am going to die…
"But," she felt Mongold's finger tap her chin upwards, "Your mind's connection is… average – we'll say. That means your aptitude towards precision and grasping of spells may just yet save you. Do not give in, and do not give up Andrea Salem. We may just make a magician of you yet."
She stood up and hugged him, it was awkwardly received but that did not stop her, "Thank you!" Andrea said, releasing him, "I… you have no idea how much I needed to… if you believe in me, Professor, I promise. I swear… I won't let you down."
He smiled as he put his shades back on, "That is more like it."
There was a knock at the door and Professor Mongold nodded his head and moved to open it, "That is your tour guide. She is a fellow first year that is from a sorcerer family, so she knows her way around both the college and town. I know you will get along swimmingly."
Andrea smiled and turned, letting Mongold go to answer the door whilst she tried to focus on the feeling of a Grimoire in her hand. It took some effort, and she felt like she had just run a fast-paced lap, but the book appeared, the same as before. Andrea marveled at it, the pages a lot fewer than Rigg's and empty, but they were hers… wait! What the fuck? She saw, on the final page, a drawing of a spider's web. Anansi…
"Andrea," she turned to face Mongold, and felt her Grimoire disappear with her focus gone, "Are you ready?"
She thought about telling him about the spider-web, but remembered what he had told her. And worse still, she felt a cramp come and go at the thought, "Yep, born ready!"